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[i习作temp] Issue7 =So What=小组第1次作业 by ZhouPYF [复制链接]

ZhouPYF
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电梯直达

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发表于 2009-5-24 10:40:37 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 ZhouPYF 于 2009-5-24 10:44 编辑

:)

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ZhouPYF
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沙发

发表于 2009-5-24 10:44:11 |只看该作者

7. "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."
摄像机可以通过如此精确而有力的记录手段来再现当代生活，因此它已经代替书面记录成为了一种更重要的记录手段。

提纲：
1摄像的确能够带给人们很多便利，但是不能因此忽视书面记录。
2摄像能够提供精确地详实的信息
3摄像采用的视觉信息方式是最有效地信息输入方式
4书面记录有着低成本和简洁特点
5不应该厚此薄彼

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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ZhouPYF
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板凳

发表于 2009-5-24 10:44:33 |只看该作者

TOPIC: ISSUE7 - "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."
WORDS: 527 TIME: 00:59:13 DATE: 2009-5-24 10:35:27

It is true that video camera plays a more and more important part in people's daily life. It provides us with more accurate and convincing records rather than written records. However, that does not mean written records are not important at current time. The advantages of video cameras certainly make it an important method in the documentation, but not to the extent of being more essential to written records due to its limitations.

To begin with, video is actually a series of pictures associated along the time, while the written records can be seen as the description of these pictures. Video can provide records of what is happening in an exciting game, like NBA finals, or an international meeting, like G20 summit, or even in the field of battle, such in Afghanistan. From the video we can know exactly what the things are subtle details from the help of vivid pictures and sounds. If there is no video, we may not enjoy the favorite players in certain games which take place far away, and we may also can not see certain activities or historical events that happened several years before. While it is true that we can acquire these information through newspaper and books, due the different imaginations from the written words people will have different understands of certain things which it will not happen when using a video.

Moreover, the video can be perceived by visual signals, from which people get most information in the everyday life, there is a research indicates that people actually get 83% of the information through the visual sense while only 5% is accepted through the contents of the words. Therefore video is a more natural method than the written records. Everyone, no matter how old he is, no matter if he can read or not, can get information through a video. For instance, both are the introductions of New York city in English version, a 40 year old Chinese woman who does not know English would highly possible prefer the programs done by the discovery channel rather than the written edition done by a traveling agency.

While video is certainly better than written records almost in every aspect, the importance of the written records can not be neglected due to the limitations of the video. First, the video is expensive and cost a lot for the people who want to use it. People have to buy a camera to record video, and a player to play the video, which by all means is a big expense for the user. Second the video is not convenient in some circumstances, for example, we just want know several hot news in the morning, it can be done through the glance of the headlines from the newspaper, we do not need the accuracy and vividness of the video which will certainly cost time and money.

In sum, videos are accurate, convincing, natural and easy for people to receive information, while written records are abstract and low cost. Both of these records are important for people in the current time, we should treat them equally, but not put too much emphasis on neither of them.

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linyan821230
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地板

发表于 2009-5-24 15:57:32 |只看该作者

很崇拜啊

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5楼

发表于 2009-5-24 21:02:01 |只看该作者

It is true that video camera plays a more and more important part in people's daily life. It provides us with more accurate and convincing records rather than written records. However, that does not mean written records are not important at current time. The advantages of video cameras certainly make it an important method in the documentation, but not to the extent of being more essential to written records due to its limitations.

To begin with, video is actually a series of pictures associated along the time, while the written records can be seen as the description of these pictures. Video can provide records of what is happening in an exciting game, like NBA finals, or an international meeting, like G20 summit, or even in the field of battle, such in Afghanistan. From the video we can know exactly what the（不要the吧？） things are subtle details from（with） the help of vivid pictures and sounds. If there is no video, we may not enjoy the favorite players (应该是enjoy their performance不是他们本人吧。)in certain games which take place far away, and we may also can not see certain activities or historical events that happened several years before. While it is true that we can acquire these information through newspaper and books, due （？）the different imaginations from the written words people will have different understands(understandings) of certain things which it (去掉it)will not happen when using a video.

Moreover, the video can be perceived by visual signals, from which people get most information in the everyday(daily) life, there is a research indicates(indicating) that people actually get 83% of the information through the visual sense while only 5% is accepted through the contents of the words. Therefore video is a more natural method than the written records. Everyone, no matter how old he is, no matter if(whether) he can read or not, can get information through a video. For instance, both are the (facing two different kinds of)introductions of (to)New York city in English version, a 40 year old Chinese woman who does not know English would highly possible(possibly) prefer the programs done by the discovery channel rather than the written edition done by a traveling agency.

While video is (not)certainly better than written records almost in every aspect, the importance of the written records can not be neglected due to the limitations of the video. First, the video is expensive and cost(s) a lot for the people who want to use it. People have to buy a camera to record video, and a player to play the video, which by all means(by all means是尽一切办法的意思，此处貌似不当。) is a big expense for the user. Secondly the video is not convenient in some circumstances, for example, we just want to know several hot news in the morning, it can be done through the glance of the headlines from the newspaper, we do not need the accuracy and vividness of the video which will certainly cost time and money.

In sum, videos are accurate, convincing, natural and easy for people to receive information, while written records are abstract and low cost. Both of these records are important for people in the current time, we should treat them equally, but not put too much emphasis on neither(either) of them.

1.觉得后面阐述written record的重要性的时候，没有展开。2.语法错误有点点小多喔。。。楼主注意一下咧~3.大家都难免会有的共同问题，语言还是不够academic，还是很多有些偏口语化了。。。先到此，再交流！加油！加油！

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fengrui129
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6楼

发表于 2009-5-25 23:26:05 |只看该作者

In sum, videos are accurate, convincing, natural and easy for people to receive information, while written records are abstract and low cost(cost-low). Both of these records are important for people in the current time, we should treat them equally, but not put too much emphasis on neither of them.

1，结构还算是清晰在论证上采用不同方法，举例，反证，数据值得肯定
2 ，句法太过单一了，尝试写一些难句（可以多使用定语从句，一来增加句子复杂性，二来可有效避免therefore,thus之类词的频繁使用）写表结果的可以尝试用这些：consequently, as a result, which inevitable lead to``,thereby这个词隆重推荐  很书面的一个句子完了用分号；thereby doing)
3 词汇感觉有些不足 plays a more and more important part vital , significant, imperative,indispensable都比more and more important好吧
accurate and convincing 频繁出现换嘛  如precise,  specific, concrete

While video is (not)certainly better than written records almost in every aspect, the importance of the written records can not be neglected due to the limitations of the video.
胜出用 outweigh, 隆重推荐 have an edge over  人家老美经常使用
这句话句型也可变一下增加难度， It by no means can we ignore the significance of the written records .  你后面用的due to ··多余

写平衡观点不可厚此薄彼建议 strike a perfect balance between A and B

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