0910AW 同主题写作第三期 ARGUMENT242 by qtangtangs [复制链接]

qtangtangs
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2009-6-7 12:53:55 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Before any other institution starts following the similar system as Groveton’s, the evidence given in the argument should be rechecked from several angles. By giving the example of Groveton’s successful code, the argument for institutions which have cheating problems among college and university students should adopt the codes similar to Groveton’s seems logical.

However, students would report to the faculty member as soon as they suspect one is cheating, which may cause a misunderstanding position. This behavior may include some personal subjective opinions, which makes the figure of cheating cases remains suspectable. It is possible that a student was reported to the faculty member as cheating just because he has a few frictions with the reporter. It is also possible the reporter fail to tell the honor code because the reporter himself also gets involved in this cheating.

In addition, by making a comparison of the figure, which represents the cases of cheating, between the first year and five years later is not a strong and significant evidence to support the honor code being successful. Other factors could also cause the decrease. This may have been a time, for example, when more high-quality students chose Groveton and less students report the cheating phenomena because of their carelessness or they devote themselves to something else. Still, the figure dropped down may due to the reason that students gradually forgot about their commitment to the faculty members and neglected the responsibility to notify the cheating thing. Also in reference to the survey indicated by the Groveton’s honor council, the background information of the students involved in the investigation was not clearly enough. Are the students freshmen or senior? Are they male or female? What are their major? All these elements are closely referred to the final results.

Last but not least, even if the honor codes succeed in Groveton, it doesn’t mean that other colleges and universities will improve their situation after they take the measures similar to Groveton’s. Different schools have different circumstances and different institutions have different students. It has been proved that copying others’ methods usually can not bring a satisfactory ending, on the contrary, may lead to an opposite effect. If the schools just dish out the Groveton’s way without any investigation or acquaintance about their own situations, than they will not receive the effects they respect.

All in all, taking measures to prevent cheating among students is necessary as well as recommendable. However, before the institutions set up any new rules, they should pay more attention about their own situations and make some codes suitable for their own, instead of copying others’ successful methods.

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leopard2009
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沙发

发表于 2009-6-7 21:14:28 |只看该作者

Before any other institution starts following the similar system as Groveton’s, the evidence given in the argument should be rechecked from several angles. By giving the example of Groveton’s successful code, the argument for institutions which have cheating problems among college and university students should adopt the codes similar to Groveton’s seems logical.

However, students would report to the faculty member as soon as they suspect one is cheating, which may cause a misunderstanding position. 这句话不是太让人理解 This behavior may include some personal subjective opinions, which makes the figure of cheating cases remains\remain suspectable. It is possible that a student was reported to the faculty member as cheating just because he has\had a few frictions with the reporter. It is also possible the reporter fails to tell the honor code because the reporter himself also gets involved in this cheating.
有点绕哈，能否开头一句就说明aruger所犯的问题，然后再展开。
In addition, by making a comparison of the figure, which represents the cases of cheating, between the first year and five years later is not a strong and significant evidence to support the honor code being successful. Other factors could also cause the decrease. This may have been a time, for example, when more high-quality students chose Groveton and less students report the cheating phenomena because of their carelessness or they devote themselves to something else. Still, the figure dropped down may due to the reason that students gradually forgot about their commitment to the faculty members and neglected the responsibility to notify the cheating thing. 这句有语法错误，due to the reason不能作谓语Also in reference to the survey indicated by the Groveton’s honor council, the background information of the students involved in the investigation was not clearly enough. Are the students freshmen or senior? Are they male or female? What are their major? All these elements are closely referred to the final results.
这一段的论述，作者可以考虑把figure和survey分成两段谈好一点，一段谈一个问题比较清晰
Last but not least, even if the honor codes succeed in Groveton, it doesn’t mean that other colleges and universities will improve their situation after they take the measures similar to Groveton’s. Different schools have different circumstances and different institutions have different students. It has been proved that copying others’ methods usually can not bring a satisfactory ending, on the contrary, may lead to an opposite effect. If the schools just dish out the Groveton’s way without any investigation or acquaintance about their own situations, than\这个词放在这里什么意思哈？ they will not receive the effects they respect.

All in all, taking measures to prevent cheating among students is necessary as well as recommendable. However, before the institutions set up any new rules, they should pay more attention about\to their own situations and make some codes suitable for their own, instead of copying others’ successful methods.
作者的表达还是不错的，但是在论述的时候尽量直接，并且尽量一段论述一个问题比较好哈
一些不全对的建议，共同探讨哈

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