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同主题ARGUMENT242 =August Rush=小组第1次作业 by KevinSpacey [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-6-14 22:48:43 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Argument 242. The following appeared as an editorial in the student newspaper of Groveton College.


"To combat the recently reported dramatic rise in cheating among college and university students, these institutions should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton's, which calls for students to agree not to cheat in their academic endeavors and to notify a faculty member if they suspect that others have cheated. Groveton's honor code replaced an old-fashioned system in which students were closely monitored by teachers and an average of thirty cases of cheating per year were reported. The honor code has proven far more successful: in the first year it was in place, students reported twenty-one cases of cheating; five years later, this figure had dropped to fourteen. Moreover, in a recent survey conducted by the Groveton honor council, a majority of students said that they would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without."



为解决最近上报的大学生作弊现象显著增加的问题,大学和学院应该采取和Groveton学院类似的诚信制度,该制度要求学生同意在学业中不作弊,并且当他们怀疑别人作弊的时候通知老师。Groveton的诚信制度代替了原有的学生被老师严密监视的老体制,在老体制中平均每年有30起作弊被上报。该制度被证明成的多:在它实施的第一年,学生上报了21起作弊;五年后,这一数值下降到了14起。而且,在最近一次由Groveton诚信委员会组织的调查中,大部分学生说有了诚信制度他们更加不太可能作弊。

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发表于 2009-6-14 22:51:08 |只看该作者
TOPIC: ARGUMENT242 - The following appeared as an editorial in the student newspaper of Groveton College.
"To combat the recently reported dramatic rise in cheating among college and university students, these institutions should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton's, which calls for students to agree not to cheat in their academic endeavors and to notify a faculty member if they suspect that others have cheated. Groveton's honor code replaced an old-fashioned system in which students were closely monitored by teachers and an average of thirty cases of cheating per year were reported. The honor code has proven far more successful: in the first year it was in place, students reported twenty-one cases of cheating; five years later, this figure had dropped to fourteen. Moreover, in a recent survey conducted by the Groveton honor council, a majority of students said that they would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without."
WORDS: 486          TIME: 04:XX:XX         DATE: 2009/6/14 22:XX

This argument is well-presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned. To draw the conclusion that other colleges and universities should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton’s in order to decline the academic cheat, the author gives us the contrast between the cheating cases number every year of old-fashioned system and the honor codes’, a survey that the students would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without, and assumption that the other institutions would have the same effectiveness as Groveton if they adopted honor code measure. These reasons seem logical.

However, the author is failing to consider that the number of the cheating cases might not well-reflect the fact of the cheating. It is possible that, as the developing of technology, cheating tools are becoming tinier and cheating methods are becoming more covert, thus the cheating activities might not be easy to perceive. The honor code measure calls for students to monitor others, so if the students make an agreement that if one of them cheat in the academic endeavors, the others would  not report this to the faculty members, the honor codes will do nothing. This is another possibility. When this compromise spreads over more students, the phenomenon that the number of cheating cases declined during the last five years is not hard to understand.

The survey itself is also far from sufficient to prove that the honor codes are effective. The author does not tell us how many students are involving in this survey. If the population of Groveton if more than one thousand, and the honor council only pick fifty ones out of them to participate the survey, the result of survey will have none effectiveness because the sample rate is too low to reflect the whole students’ real thought. The sample students’ representativeness is another suspect item. Maybe the majority of the sample students are freshmen who have not influenced by the nasty habits of the college such as cheating.

Even if the honor codes are effective in Groveton, it might not suit for other institutions. The huge differences between these institutions which are not considered by the author are the main reason why they cannot just adopt the same system to prohibit the cheating. Some colleges’ academic level is much lower than the others which make the students of these colleges easy to get their academic researches accomplished, so the students can get a high mark without cheating. Some are just opposite in which the honor codes’ efficiency may not exert. The author believes the honor codes which make success in Groveton will also success in all other institutions without considering the difficulties it might meet.

In one word, if the author wants to argue that other institutions should adopt the honor codes, he should tell us the background of the number of cheating cases, the sample characteristic of the survey, and the general efficiency of this measure.
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发表于 2009-6-18 20:26:38 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 echodingdingh 于 2009-6-18 20:28 编辑

This argument is well-presented, but notthoroughly well-reasoned.(这句很好噢!我在范文也看到了:) To draw the conclusion that othercolleges and universities should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton’s inorder to decline the academic cheat(cheat作名词只有欺骗的意思,应该是cheat吧), the author gives us the contrast between the cheating cases numberevery year of old-fashioned system and the honor codes’(andof the honor codes是不是会好点?), a survey that thestudents would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place thanwithout, and assumption that the other institutions would have the sameeffectiveness as Groveton if they adopted honor code measure. These reasonsseem logical.

However, the author is failing to consider that the number of the cheatingcases might not well-reflect the fact of the cheating. It is possible that, asthe developing of technology, cheating tools are becoming tinier and cheatingmethods are becoming more covert, thus the cheating activities might not beeasy to perceive. The honor code measure calls for students to monitor others,so(感觉这个so和前句的关系有点怪,是不是应该换一个表示转折关系的词) if the students make an agreementthat if one of them cheat in the acade
micendeavors, the others would  not report this to the faculty members,the honor codes will do nothing. This is another possibility. When thiscompromise spreads over more students, the phenomenon that the number ofcheating cases declined during the last five years is not hard to understand.

The survey itself is also far from sufficient(感觉这个用得蛮好!) to prove that the honor codes areeffective. The author does not tell us how many students are involving in thissurvey. If the population of Groveton if more than one thousand, and the honorcouncil only pick fifty ones out of them to participate the survey, the resultof survey will have none(感觉这里该用no,不知道none的用法可不可以哈) effectiveness because the samplerate is too low to reflect the whole students’ real thought(s). The sample students’ representativeness isanother suspect item. Maybe the majority of the sample students are freshmenwho have not influenced by the nasty(这个词会不会重了?) habits of the college such ascheating.

Even if the honor codes are effective in Groveton, it might not suit for otherinstitutions. The huge differences between these institutions which are notconsidered by the author are the main reason why they cannot just adopt thesame system to prohibit the cheating. Some colleges’ academic level is muchlower than the others which make the students of these colleges easy to gettheir academic researches accomplished, so the students can get a high markwithout cheating. Some are just opposite in which the honor codes’ efficiencymay not exert. The author believes the honor codes which make(s,因为honor codes应该是一个东西吧,虽然codes是复数) success in Groveton willalso success(succeed才是动词)in all other institutions without considering the difficulties it might meet.

In one word, if the author wants to argue that other institutions should adoptthe honor codes, he should tell us the background(这个词感觉有点怪) of the number of cheating cases, the sample characteristic of thesurvey, and the general efficiency of this measure.
1.文章整体感觉已经蛮好,语言如果能进一步成熟和提高就完美了!
2.感觉手段第二段开头看到的官方范文1的痕迹太重了点,习作无所谓,正式考试应该不太好吧:)
3.逻辑方面个人感觉还蛮好的.


说得不合适的地方希望提出互相讨论噢:)
dream big!work hard!

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