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[i习作temp] ISSUE 40 求改 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-7-20 22:50:23 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ISSUE40 - "Scholars and researchers should not be concerned with whether their work makes a contribution to the larger society. It is more important
that they pursue their individual interests, however unusual or idiosyncratic those interests may seem."
WORDS: 513          TIME: 01:30:00          DATE: 2009-7-20 21:56:23

A.学者和研究人员应追求个人兴趣,发挥研究潜能,但研究是否对社会有贡献是衡量研究的主要表层,因此研究更应考虑对社会的贡献。
B1.个人兴趣可以激发研究潜能,推动社会发展
B2.仅凭个人兴趣研究是片面的,过分依赖个人兴趣会有负面影响
B3.研究不能仅靠个人兴趣,应考虑对社会的贡献,两者结合会使研究者发挥更大功效。

In most field of research areas, individual interests and idiosyncratic stimulate scholars and researchers to do their studying. Obviously, for all researchers and scholars, curiosity is the best teacher which will develop their potentials and research capabilities.
Besides, although studying research is based on personal interests, it is impossible to assert that the value of research that contributed to the whole society is nothing. On such aspect, the contribution of research is a significant standard.

Private interests are not only provide countless energies for scholars and researchers to study  but also have the capability to stimulate researchers' potentials, which pursue them to explore our unknown world. When people looked for running faster than horses, researchers developed
automobiles instead of horses; When people dreamed to have wings to fly as a bird hovering in the sky, Wright brothers invented the airplane, which brings people to whatever place they want; When people expected to contact and see their friends who were on the opposite site of the earth, researchers invested Internet, which helps people to communicate and see each other on the line.
Therefore, it is convincing to conclude that individual curiosities and interests force researchers to
develop their potentials and challenge humans’ limitations.

Even although individual interests have huge benefic impact on researchers and scholars, whether contributed to human society is one of the most significant evaluation criterions of the fruits of research. Because only rested on personal curiosity that might mislead the purpose of research and also acquire some opposite effects. Take the clone research for an example, researchers have
extremely interests on exploring humans'
mysterious, but without necessary
restriction, the clone research will challenge humans' ethics and moralities or even overthrow our
traditional values. How horrible this kind of research is? So researchers and scholars should also pay more attention on the researchers' contributions about the society not simply focus on private curiosities.

Great scientific research, correlation private interests and social contributions, might not only explore researchers’ potentials, develop scholars'abilities, but also stimulate the development of the whole society. The research would have a benefic function as the result of combining private interests and social contributions. For instance, Edison is
considered one of the most prolific inventors who developed various devices that greatly influence the
whole world. In addition, his interests and curiosities are in a wide range. Therefore, his inventions cover a wide area, from the electric light bulb which has been used in our daily life to the motion picture camera which has improved our entertainment activities in earlier life. However, if Edison don't have
these funny interests, I can not image whether he can invest these classic devices.

In the conclusion, no matter how tiny the private interests are or no matter how mini the research contributed, all of these elements are valuable for
researchers and scholars. Besides, commit themselves to contribute to the larger society is researchers’ the significant accountabilities. Furthermore, In order to pursue the development of the society, provide more convenient facilities and enrich our daily life, scholars and researchers might sacrifice their
own interests.


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沙发
发表于 2009-7-21 00:31:49 |只看该作者
In most fields of research areas 第一句就有语法错误....

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板凳
发表于 2009-7-21 00:33:37 |只看该作者
太晚了,明天再帮你看看。

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地板
发表于 2009-7-21 00:47:05 |只看该作者
先收下,天亮后来拜读拜读

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发表于 2009-7-21 00:48:54 |只看该作者
“Private interests are not only provide ”?? 这个,语法错误太明显了点,可能是你打字时没有注意吧

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发表于 2009-7-21 12:55:15 |只看该作者
大致看了一下,感觉楼主写得比较仓促,有些用词不太恰当,有些语法错误也很明显。我这主要是抠了一些字眼,对于结构和内容暂时没有太多的修改意见。我这就当抛砖引玉吧,希望有其他高手继续指正)
框架很清晰,这个不错。
40"Scholars and researchers should not be concerned with whether their work makes a contribution to the larger society. It is more important that they pursue their individual interests, however unusual or idiosyncratic those interests may seem."

In most field of research areas(most fields), individual interests and idiosyncratic(这个,idiosyncratic是形容词吧,放在这里语法上说不通,应该是idiosyncrasy) stimulate scholars and researchers to do their studying. Obviously, for all researchers and scholars, curiosity is the best teacher which will develop their potentials and research capabilities.Besides, although studying research is based on personal interests, it is impossible to assert that the value of research that contributed to the whole society is nothing. On such aspect, the contribution of research is a significant standard. (印象中好像英语是以尾重句居多,而且我觉得你这两句话的意思有重复之嫌)

Private interests are not only provide(典型的be do错误结构) countless energies for scholars and researchers to study  but also have the capability to stimulate researchers' potentials, which pursue them to explore our unknown world. When people looked for running faster than horses, researchers developed automobiles instead of horses(这一句,难道是人们希望能跑得比马快(纯粹的物种原因吧),所以才发明了汽车?而且发明家为了让人们跑得更快,所以发明的是汽车而不是发明马?,我感觉LZ的意思是人们觉得马作为一种交通工具速度不够快,所以产生了发明汽车的想法吧,不过你这个句子处理得不太好,容易产生歧义); When people dreamed to have wings to fly as(用like可能比较好吧) a bird hovering in the sky, Wright brothers invented the airplane, which brings people to whatever place they want; When people expected to contact and see their friends who were on the opposite site of the earth, researchers invested Internet, which helps people to communicate and see each other on the line.(不好意思,我印象中因特网最早是美国的几所高校和研究机构为了学术目的而构建的吧,LZ有兴趣的话可以去WIKI一下。另外,invest是投资的意思)Therefore, it is convincing to conclude that individual curiosities and interests force researchers to develop their potentials and challenge humans’ limitations.
(这一段读下来,我有点不明白的是LZ到底想说明发明是要on researchers’ individual interest and curiosities还是 因为many people’s interest or desire?因为这几个事例给我的印象都倾向于后者。)

Even although (Even although这个用法貌似有点非主流吧……Even though要准确些)individual interests have huge benefic impact on researchers and scholars, whether contributed to human society is one of the most significant evaluation criterions of the fruits of research. Because only rested on personal curiosity that might mislead the purpose of research and also acquire some opposite effects(去掉that,加上that的话你这后面就应该改写成一个从句,如果that是引出关于curiosity的定语从句的话,整句话的意思就不完整了。另外rested on最好改成resting on,毕竟你这个表达的并不是被动的意味). Take the clone research for an example, researchers have extremely interests on exploring humans' mysterious(mysteries), but without necessary restriction, the clone research will challenge humans' ethics and moralities or even overthrow our traditional values(Challenge 语气不够重,用destroy可能更好). How horrible this kind of research is? (!).So researchers and scholars should also pay more attention on the researchers' contributions about the society not simply focus on private curiosities(rather than更好).

Great scientific research, correlation(correlated with) private interests and social contributions, might not only explore researchers’ potentials, develop scholars'abilities, but also stimulate the development of the whole society. The research would have a benefic function as the result of combining private interests and social contributions. For instance, Edison is considered one of the most prolific inventors who developed various devices that greatly influence the whole world. In addition, his interests and curiosities are in a wide range. Therefore, his inventions cover a wide area, from the electric light bulb which has been used in our daily life to the motion picture camera which has improved our entertainment activities in earlier life. However, if Edison don't have these funny interests, I can not image whether he can invest these classic devices(记得好像某人说过写ISSUE尽量少用第一和第二人称,用It is hard to image 可能更好。当然,这个我不太确定。).

In the conclusion(去掉the), no matter how tiny the private interests are or no matter how mini the research contributed, all of these elements are valuable for researchers and scholars. Besides, commit(Committing) themselves to contribute to the larger society is researchers’ significant accountabilities(什么叫larger society?大社会?更大的社会?感觉用whole可能更准确). Furthermore, In order to pursue the development of the society, provide more convenient facilities and enrich our daily life, scholars and researchers might sacrifice their own interests(个人觉得用Might have to这样的语气更好,而且更切题).

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RE: ISSUE 40 求改 [修改]
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