[i习作temp] issue70 [复制链接]

liugx0412
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电梯直达

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发表于 2009-8-13 07:29:22 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

70T（18th） "In any profession -- business, politics, education, government -- those in power should step down after five years. The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership."

Revitalization of leaderships, whose intention is to serve as the inherent impetus of the field to develop stably and healthily, is necessary in most of professions, since it eliminates the possibility of the long-term leadership, which might result in stagnation or even degradation of the field. However, frequently changing leaders would also be counterproductive, for it undermines the stability of the development of the profession. Moreover, in certain fields long-term leadership is not only helpful but also necessary.

In some professions, long-term leadership has its own merit in terms of the experience the leader has gained during his/her tenure, which would help overcome the difficulties that is nothing but the repeat of history. For instance, the judge of the supreme court in the United States carries a life-long leadership, because as for the judge especially those who have the power to determine the rightness or falsehood of significant events, it’s experience rather than creativity that plays a vital role.

However, in most professions, it’s impossible for a leader to hold a life-long office, since the permanent justness and the probity of those in power must be trusted by everyone in the society, which tends to be unrealistic. On the contrary long-term leadership, in effect, often results in either despotism or corruption. History is replete with such examples. Mao Zedong, the founder of People’s Republic of China, who has been the chairman of China for almost 20 years, has led to the degradation of the society because of his despotism in his later life, though nobody could deny that he is one of the greatest men, at least in his early life, in Chinese history. Also, those in power may get corrupted for their insatiable greed, which springs from human nature, to pursue higher status as, money, and fame. Therefore, leadership should be revitalized after certain period of time to guarantee the good ethos of society.

On the contrary, periodical renovation of leadership can provide the would-be leaders the opportunity to demonstrate to the public that they are more competent to lead them to better conditions. Yet, some people may argue that if the former leaders have already been sufficiently qualified to guarantee the happiness of the public, then there is no need to replace them with new ones. Nevertheless, they have neglected the fact that it’s just because the former ones have already done adequately well that makes it difficult for them to do better, since a single leader’s thoughts would get exhausted, and the stereotype that cannot keep up with new situations he/she has formed wouldn’t be easily changed by himself/herself no matter how excellent he/she is. Yet new leaders can not only inherit the heritage heir predecessors have left to them, but use it as the gangway to pursue even greater success. Although it would take the new leaders times to adapt to the new situation, in the long run the revitalization would be beneficial.

Nevertheless, important as revitalization is for the development of most professions, it should not be too frequent, since the prosperity of any field hinges on stable patterns of evolvement. As a result, frequently shifted tenure may actually be counterproductive.

To sum up, in most professions periodically revitalization is not only favorable but indispensable for the sustainable development of the field, and a five-year period is perhaps a proper tenure, since longer terms would ossify the enterprise while shorter ones may contribute to instability.

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magiccolin
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沙发

发表于 2009-8-13 13:01:42 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 magiccolin 于 2009-8-13 13:04 编辑

issue70
70T（18th）"In any profession -- business, politics, education, government --those in power should step down after five years. The surest path tosuccess for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership."

Revitalizationof leaderships, whose intention is to serve as the inherent impetus ofthe field to develop stably and healthily, is necessary in most ofprofessions, since it eliminates the possibility of the long-termleadership, which might result in stagnation or even degradation of thefield. However, frequently changing leaders would also becounterproductive, for it undermines the stability of the developmentof the profession. Moreover, in certain fields long-term leadership isnot only helpful but also necessary.

t第一段的第一句会不会太长了。感觉可以写短点。
结构：先提正：revitalization有些必须的。反：可能有些问题。

Insome professions, long-term leadership has its own merit in terms ofthe experience the leader has gained during his/her tenure, which wouldhelp overcome the difficulties that is nothing but the repeat ofhistory. For instance, the judge of the supreme court in the UnitedStates carries a life-long leadership, because as for the judgeespecially those who have the power to determine the rightness orfalsehood of significant events, it’s experience rather than creativitythat plays a vital role.

t感觉偏用于长句，长句的使用太多了。

However,in most professions, it’s impossible for a leader to hold a life-longoffice, since the permanent justness and the probity of those in powermust be trusted by everyone in the society, which tends to beunrealistic. On the contrary,long-term leadership, in effect, oftenresults in either despotism or corruption. History is replete with suchexamples. Mao Zedong, the founder of People’s Republic of China （我们都说在毛主席的带领下建立新中国，而不是毛主席建立了新中国，这样是不是好点）, whohas been the chairman of China for almost 20 years, has led to thedegradation of the society because of his despotism in his later years. Though nobody could deny that he is one of the greatest leaders, at leastin his early years, in Chinese history. Also, those in power may getcorrupted for their insatiable greed, which springs from human nature,to pursue higher status as, money, and fame. Therefore, leadershipshould be revitalized after certain period of time to guarantee thegood ethos of society.

t论述过长时间的坏处。但是毛泽东的这个会不会不太好。

Onthe contrary, periodical renovation of leadership can provide thewould-be leaders the opportunity to demonstrate their competency to the public. Yet, some peoplemay argue that if the former leaders have already been provedqualified to guarantee the happiness of the public .(这里讨论的是government)
, then there is noneed to replace them with new ones. Nevertheless, they have neglectedthe fact that it’s just because the former ones have already doneadequately well that makes it difficult for them to do better, since asingle leader’s thoughts would get exhausted, and the stereotype thatcannot keep up with new situations he/she has formed wouldn’t be easilychanged by himself/herself no matter how excellent he/she is. Yet newleaders can not only inherit the heritage heir predecessors have leftto them, but use it as the gangway to pursue even greater success.Although it would take the new leaders times to adapt to the newsituation, in the long run the revitalization would be beneficial.
.这里论证的是领导人更换的一处.

.论证的角度单一，原文只是论证在各个领域，而你一直举一个领域的例子来进行论证.

.

Nevertheless,important as revitalization is for the development of most professions,it should not be too frequent, since the prosperity of any field hingeson stable patterns of evolvement. As a result, frequently shiftedtenure may actually be counterproductive.

Tosum up, in most professions periodically revitalization is not only favorable but indispensable for the sustainable development of thefield, and a five-year period is perhaps a proper tenure, since longerterms would ossify.这个词是骨骼硬化的意思. the enterprise while shorter ones may contribute toinstability.

.虽然这里说哦是most professions 但是其实全文讲的prefession大部分都是政治的.

总的来说，
原文的论证的例子比较单一。
论证的方向是：

先提正，然后再反。

然后分点，最后总结。结构一般。

希望我的修改对你有帮助，欢迎探讨~~

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