[主题活动] Issue130 [复制链接]

wilber5945
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电梯直达

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发表于 2010-2-12 09:45:06 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 wilber5945 于 2010-2-12 09:46 编辑

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

正文：
I agree with that socialization plays an very important role in constituting a better society. However, we cannot concludes that it determines the destiny of society. Because other traits such as honesty loyalty and integrity can also affect the future of human beings and the society they composed. Nowadays, many severe mental problems of adolescent calls our attention to the education of children.

Socialization provides children with skills and habits neccessary for participating society. Anyone who has the desire to contribute to society is required to be socialized. Even if a talented scientist, who is insulated from the society, could hardly make any breakthrough. Only if children are well socialized, which means that children have inherited the norms, customs, values, traditions and languages that are shared by people of this world, they could assess the value of society wisely and improve it.

However, a person with high socialization can rarely reveals that he is able to bring about a better society. Because other traits such as honesty loyalty and integrity also play influential roles in people's contribution to society. For example, Sum Walton who is the founder of Walmat, which is the largest international discount retail chain in the word, is believe in honesty and loyalty whole his life. No matter what occupation, as a soldier or a businessman,Sum do his best to construct his country and society.Without honesty, one would betray his friends. Without loyalty, one would betray his country, Without integrity, one would even betray himself. How could these people who are dishonest and disloyal constitute a better society.

With the development of civilization of human beings, especially material civilization, many severe mental problems of juveniles demands self-examination of parents and teachers. For instance, in China, according a survey conducted by Chinese Academy of Social Science, there are more than 20% middle school students have mental problems such as depression and suicidal tendency. The innovation of educational method is extremely urgent, since the old style of education cannot raise children who can help lead to a better society.

In sum, to promote the society, children should be not only more socialized but also honest loyal and righteous. We also need to explore a better way to raise children into a helpful and useful person to society.

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zj-129
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沙发

发表于 2010-2-12 23:39:54 |只看该作者

2月11日1号习作修改稿：

Issue130
"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

I agree with that socialization plays a very important role in constituting a better society. However, we cannot conclude that it determines the destiny of society. Because other traits，such as honesty，loyalty and integrity，can also affect the future of human beings and the society they composed（总觉得这个有点多余，但是不知道该怎么改，其实去掉可能更精练）. Nowadays, many severe mental problems of adolescent call our attention to the education of children.

Socialization provides children with skills and habits which is necessary to participating social activities. Anyone who has the desire to contribute to society had to be socialized. Even a talented scientist, who is insolated from the society, could hardly make any breakthrough(这句的意思是可能最天才的科学家也得喝社会打交道，但是总感觉表达不地道，breakthrough for what, social contact?). Only if children are well socialized, which means that children have inherited the norms, customs, values, traditions and languages from the world those civilization results are shared , they could assess the core value of the society wisely and then improve it.

However, a person with high socialization can rarely reveals that he is able to bring about a better society. Because other characteristics such as honesty, loyalty and integrity also play influential roles in people's contribution to community(代替society，以示词汇的多样化，前面那个词修改的原因也是). For example, Sum Walton，（把逗号的位置改了，这和后面的IS呼应）who is the founder of Walmat which is the largest international discount retail chain in the word, is believe in honesty and loyalty throughout his life. No matter what occupation he takes, a soldier or a businessman, he always do his best to construct to his country and society. Without honesty, one would betray his friends; Without loyalty, one would betray his country; (三个排比句的标点符号要用分号表并列)Without integrity, one would even betray himself. How could we believe these people who are dishonest and disloyal could better their society. ?

With the development of civilization of human beings, especially material civilization, many rock-ribbed (severe严重的,和前面的词汇重复了)mental problems of juveniles demands self-examination of parents and teachers. For instance, in China, according a survey conducted by Chinese Academy of Social Science, there are more than 20% middle school students have mental problems such as depression and suicidal tendency. The innovation of educational method（approach似乎更难点，建议参考） is extremely urgent, since the timeworn (old陈旧的) style of education cannot raise children who can help lead to a better society.

In sum, to promote the society, Children should not be socialized only in knowledge and living skills but also some mental characteristics which lead them to a more healthy and civilized person that the overall society really needs. （children should be not only more socialized but also honest loyal and righteous.） We also need to explore a better way to raise children into a helpful and useful person to society. Only in that way the whole nation even all through the world can we say that the children are got the best socialization progress.

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