[活动] 独立写作3-23 By 桂伯木马 [复制链接]

mumolulu
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电梯直达

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发表于 2010-3-23 20:22:15 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

3.23Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:(
Dont stop ,Never give up

There is no doubt of  denying the opinion on we can get some lessons of sport. Because sport is full of wherever we live, Just like the air we breath.

There are two possibilities and in which one of two stations you are: Either you are an athelet, or a commen person. The one falls into first catigary might be of  forced  as  a career. then congratulations！ To be the winner ,in which you believe and by which you could govern your goal of life. And the other who belongs second should be zealous with your life. How lovely a person live with passions! we just certain one thing that at least whom " harmless " for our social order even in turn for our planet.

Even more let me state :

Triumph over the fear of failure.
For example, there's only and just one could be the winner generally in a sports meeting, no matter it's just a game or  Olympic Game, in which the fact we should face is the winner or the loser.So heft make us peacefully and conragely accepted. I think it's a good massage for us to healthfully during a strong and confident life.

Hold every opportunity to be a winner.
Not only in a sport,but in life. Almostly everywhere we live in , the compitations exist with. Yourself whom is the biggest enemy you facing,how samilarly with our jogging by ourselves the scene is !We can't say it is no helpful for us to pull together without the insperition of sport.

Good for us , good for social life.
why? When you do the sport ,healthy you you either. In turn reducing the expending health insurance of government and yourself.

By all means ,on the way of our life ,every sport implies a healthy, every healthy; an opportunity; every oppertunity , a dignity brand-new life.

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J印记
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沙发

发表于 2010-3-24 20:07:03 |只看该作者

There is no doubt of  denying the opinion on we can get some lessons of sport.(开山点题，不错不错。不过deny的对象搞错了哦，应该是denying the opinion on whether we can get some lessons from sports,注意哦，应该用whether ，sport 应该改成sports..)Because sport is full of wherever we live, Just like the air we breath." n8 q(真的吗?有点夸张了吧。可以从历史的角度来看待体育的重要性喔，这样比较容易说服人。比如说Sports have existed in the past ages and have played an important role in the history of mankind.)4 o2 ]3 h" b& }3 X8 q4 |

There are two possibilities and in which one of two stations you are(虽然是正确的，可是刚开头就给读者一个位置放上，有点点…): Either you are an athelet, or a commen (commen在这里什么意思呢?)person. The one falls into first catigary(categories，拼写错误)might be of  forced(有点不情愿的感觉，不过也不错哈)  as  a career. then congratulations！(突兀，为什么congratulation呢?原因不明确) To be the winner ,in which you believe and by which you could govern your goal of life. And the other who belongs(belong to …)the second (belong to the second of what?不明确。)should be zealous with your life. How lovely a person live with passions! we just certain one thing that at least whom " harmless " for our social order even in turn for our planet.

Even more let me state :

Triumph over the fear of failure.+ V; z" g( T' ^1 V
For example, there's only and just one could be the winner generally in a sports meeting, no matter it's just a game or  Olympic Game, in which the fact we should face is the winner or the loser.So heft (what does hefe mean?) make us peacefully and conragely accepted. I think it's a good massage for us to healthfully during a strong and confident life.
, ^& H; h3 F. f
Hold every opportunity to be a winner.
Not only in a sport,but in life. Almostly everywhere we live in , the compitations exist with.(我觉得可以把exist 去掉，something exist 就可以了，没有必要exist with.) Yourself whom(我的语法也不好，不知道可不可以yourself whom..) is the biggest enemy you facing,how samilarly with our jogging by ourselves the scene is !We can't say it is no helpful for us to pull together without the insperition of sport.  j7 C1 x# Q7 B% \5 d' P3 \, E
( ]+ J  l* x$ A" p! R* V2 Z6 A
Good for us , good for social life.
why? When you do the sports ,healthy you you either. In turn ,reducing the expending health insurance of(to) government and yourself.
" o' S. ~9 W; ?
By all means ,on the way of our life ,every sport implies a healthy, every healthy; an opportunity; every oppertunity , a dignity brand-new life.
不知道是不是我英语水平太差的原因，我始终理解不到文章的中心，还有结构的布局也不是很清楚，改的不足之处请你见谅!

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elvis_ma UID：2568469 elvis_ma 当前离线最后登录 2010-12-17 在线时间 57 小时寄托币 238 声望 0 注册时间 2008-11-5 阅读权限 5 帖子 3 精华 0 积分 162 UID 2568469 禁止发言声望 0 寄托币 238 注册时间 2008-11-5 精华 0 帖子 3 关注TA 加好友标签发消息	地板发表于 2010-3-24 22:10:52 \|只看该作者提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽

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