[a习作temp] 欢迎拍文互改小组argument14 [复制链接]

yanii
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电梯直达

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发表于 2010-7-7 20:54:34 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

ARGUMENT14 - The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.
"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."

The owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center (GTGC), claims that they will profit from the trend of self-growing vegetable by expanding the variety of vegetable seeds. However, his supporting evidence, whether the survey or the high sale, is based on a series of assumption and can easily be verified unwarranted as be discussed below.

Firstly, the memo assumes that the nationally survey is equally applied to all its regions, overlooking the differences of individual. Absent a similar local survey to bolster the assumption, it’s entirely possible that the vegetable growers pay high attention on the consumers opinion to the quality of vegetable, and spare no efforts to provide high-quality goods, or that the transport from farm to land is stable and efficient enough to reserve the fresh and nutrition of the cargo, or that they just adopt advanced technique of freshness preservation. Besides, even if the local people do show dissatisfaction with the vegetable quality, this merely doesn’t necessarily indicate they will grow their own ones. Given the skill of cultivating, the available of appropriate land, the efforts of planting watering weeding and the occupation of entertainment time, it’s quite possible that most of the complainants will resort to legal means or submit suggestion to the supermarket or they just tolerant them if that doesn’t work. After all, many people prefer lower quality vegetable to sweat and effort to plant.

Furthermore, the argument assumes that higher sales of gardening magazine Great Gardens (GG) indicate that more people are willing to grow their own vegetable. Similarly, the assumption is unwarranted for lack of relevant statistics showing such willingness. Perhaps, it's the GG's excellent advertisement or certain promotion that increase its sales. Equally possible is that the readers prefer GG just to look fun at the diverse plants and growing or that certain section of GG, such as the introduction of some flower, appeal to the most increased people. Besides, even the assumption is confirmed, only these readers of GG are insufficient to ensure a profit increase for the center.

Finally, the argument assumes that those who will grow by self will prefer GG over other business, and the growers will try a various kinds of vegetable as the first attempt. Yet absent evidence to bolster such assumption, it’s just likely in the opposite. In addition, whether is the self-growing trend a fashion that will not last long or a activity that will gain popularity in the foreseeable future? All those alternative explanations serve to undermine the owner’s suggestion.

All in all, the recommendation lacking the least relevant and convincing evidence to make a sound recommendation. To convince me that GTGC will profit by expanding the stock of various vegetable seeds, GTGC’s owner would need to provide clear statistical evidence that more local people prefer to grow vegetables by themselves, and such trend would last for a long time. To better evaluating the recommendation, I would need more information about the number of people in the trend and about the response of their competitors and their promoting strategy.

(2010-7-7 7:19:15)

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fchenyan
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沙发

发表于 2010-7-7 23:21:29 |只看该作者

欢迎拍文互改小组argument14
文互改, 欢迎
ARGUMENT14 - The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.
"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."

The owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center (GTGC), claims that they will profit from the trend of self-growing vegetable by expanding the variety of vegetable seeds. However, his supporting evidence（一方面这里应该用复数）, whether the survey or the high sale, is based on a series of assumption and can easily be verified unwarranted as be discussed below.

Firstly, the memo assumes that the nationally survey is equally applied to all its regions, overlooking the differences of individual. Absent a similar local survey to bolster the assumption, it’s entirely possible that the vegetable growers pay high attention on the consumers opinion to the quality of vegetable, and spare no efforts to provide high-quality goods, or that the transport from farm to land is stable and efficient enough to reserve the fresh and nutrition of the cargo, or that they just adopt advanced technique of freshness preservation. Besides, even if the local people do show dissatisfaction with the vegetable quality, this merely doesn’t necessarily indicate they will grow their own ones. Given the skill of cultivating, the available of appropriate land, the efforts of planting watering weeding and the occupation of entertainment time, it’s quite possible that most of the complainants will resort to legal means or submit suggestion to the supermarket or they just tolerant them if that doesn’t work. After all, many people prefer lower quality vegetable to sweat and effort to plant.

Furthermore, the argument assumes that higher sales of gardening magazine Great Gardens (GG) indicate（indicates） that more people are willing to grow their own vegetable. Similarly, the assumption is unwarranted for lack of relevant statistics showing such willingness. Perhaps, it's the GG's excellent advertisement or certain promotion that increase its sales. Equally possible is that the readers prefer GG just to look fun at the diverse plants and growing or that certain section of GG, such as the introduction of some flower, appeal to the most increased people. Besides, even the assumption is confirmed, only these readers of GG are insufficient to ensure a profit increase for the center.

Finally, the argument assumes that those who will grow by (themselves)self will prefer GG over other business, and the growers will try a various kinds of vegetable as the first attempt. Yet absent evidence to bolster such assumption, it’s just likely in the opposite. In addition, whether is the self-growing trend a fashion that will not last long or a activity that will gain popularity in the foreseeable future? All those alternative explanations serve to undermine the owner’s suggestion.

All in all, the recommendation lacking(lacks) the least relevant and convincing evidence to make a sound recommendation. To convince me that GTGC will profit by expanding the stock of various vegetable seeds, GTGC’s owner would need to provide clear statistical evidence that more local people prefer to grow vegetables by themselves, and such trend would last for a long time. To better evaluating(上面没说的另一方面就是你这个说法我不是很习惯，supporting evidence, to better evaluating……) the recommendation, I（It is not u to recommend so it is not u to need too, u get it?） would need more information about the number of people in the trend and about the response of their competitors and their promoting strategy.

(2010-7-7 7:19:15)

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yanii
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板凳

发表于 2010-7-8 07:10:25 |只看该作者

我结尾换了一下，这样好吗
All in all, the recommendation lacks the least relevant and convincing evidence to make a sound recommendation. It can be bolstered by further provide statistic indicating that more local people prefer to grow vegetables by themselves, and such a favor would last for a long time, as well as the precise number showing this willingness, and their competitors' response and promoting strategy. Not untill then, the recommendation of the GG's owner amounts to poor advice to benefit the center.

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