[优秀习作] issue104 互相修改，共同进步！ [复制链接]

天地无用
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2003-6-21 06:56:37 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

个人觉得这篇题目太抽象了，没什么例子可用.可能写成反驳会容易一些吧，可是我又偏偏觉得他说得很对，想支持一下，于是努力的写了.
Issue 104: It is through formal education that a culture tries to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears.

Position: positive.
1: The best way of a national culture to punctuate itself is to cultivate students through formal education.
2: Education should teach them to question and criticize, as well as inherit.
3: As to discredit the ideas it fears, education is not enough.

With the rapid development of our society, education becomes one of the keywords of our time. In university, the instruction from teacher acts significant role when students is growing up and developing valuable powers of observation and independent judgment. By this we mean it is through formal education that a culture tries to perpetuate the ideas it favors. But will it work so well when it comes to the elimination of the ideas it fears? The answer may be not. The very nub of that lies in the society environment not in the education. To get a full appreciation of what this means we must turn first to the situation of modern education.

At first, as a culture, the best way to punctuate itself is to cultivate students through formal education. Why is this so? It seems that convinced of the importance of education, modern states invest institutions of learning to get back interest in the form of a large group of enlightened young men and women who equipped in the same culture. Policy support, in principle, so education has been trying its best to teach students follow the ideas it favors.

这一段自己写完了自己觉得很不满意,我想表达的意思是说正规教育得到了政府和国家的鼎力支持,所以在保持文化方面是主力军.但是干巴巴的写了几句之后就没词了,太不好扩展了,也没的例子举.长度也不够,可是从逻辑关系上来看,不适合跟下面的段落互换…郁闷ing…

In addition, with regards to the variability of modern society, what education should do besides cultivating them is to encourage them question and criticize. The ultimately goal of education is a balanced development of all man’s nature, but not clone man of their ancestors, however good and similar they may be. Besides, since the world is becoming and increasing eventful place, with each passing day it becomes a harder mask to stick to the traditional ideas. So a regulation to which we belonged in the past may have changed its nature and therefore no longer deserves our loyalty. For the reason given above, skepticism and suspicion is also supposed to be encouraged.

As to discredit the ideas it fears, education cannot work so well. The reason is that to eliminate the heterodox opinion in wide scope calls for intimate cooperation of all dimensions of society. Moreover, taken to an extreme and on a mass scale, appeal to the community environment rather than education fault has resulted in humanity's most crimes. By this I mean there is neither school nor university has initiated pupil into the principles of adulation and adulteration. But those things actually exist in our world. In another words, examples from the seamy side serve to illustrate the point that negative ideas cannot be annihilated by education only.

In conclusion, Disillusionment with the culture, however progressive and open it may be, is to some degree inevitable. This reality is proved by the fact that the number of cynic and decadence(颓废派,这个词红宝书里有哦) is mounting to astronomical figures and shows no sighs at present of ceasing to rise. Education shows its incapacity for doing this work thoroughly. Yet only through the collaboration in the scope of all society can we convey human culture in all its dimensions, and thereby full understand and appreciate life in a harmony and progressive environment.

总的来说不太会写,靠一些模版和套话撑起来的,应试吧…

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gteryy
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沙发

发表于 2003-6-21 21:59:52 |只看该作者

Issue 104: It is through formal education that a culture tries to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears.

Position: positive.
1: The best way of a national culture to punctuate??? itself is to cultivate students through formal education.
2: Education should teach them to question and criticize, as well as inherit.
3: As to discredit the ideas it fears, education is not enough.

With the rapid development of our society, education becomes one of the keywords of our time. In university, the instruction from teacher acts significant role‘role' matches with 'play' when students is growing up and developing valuable powers of observation and independent judgment. By this we mean?? how about change to 'realize that' it is through formal education that a culture tries to perpetuate the ideas it favors. But will it work somay be 'as' is better well when it comes to the elimination of the ideas it fears? The answer may be not. The very nub??? of that lies in the society environment notchange to 'rather than' in the education. To get a full appreciationappreciation usually means value some arts, something beautiful, artistic, etc. or gratefulness, but how to do with 'what this means'-----that is 'understanding' of what this means we must turn first to the situation of modern education.

At first, as a culture, the best way to punctuatedo you mean perpetuate? pay attention to your spelling itself is to cultivate students through formal education. Why is this so? It seems that convinced of the importance of education, modern states invest institutions of learning to get back interest in the form of a large group of enlightened young men and women who equipped in the same culture. Policy support, in principle, so education has been trying its best to teach students follow the ideas it favors.
do you write it yourself? I don't remember clearly whether it is exactly the same as an article in NCE4. but if it was written by yourself, that's good. fluent english.

这一段自己写完了自己觉得很不满意,我想表达的意思是说正规教育得到了政府和国家的鼎力支持,所以在保持文化方面是主力军.但是干巴巴的写了几句之后就没词了,太不好扩展了,也没的例子举.长度也不够,可是从逻辑关系上来看,不适合跟下面的段落互换…郁闷ing… you have found your problem in logical argumentation in this paragraph. you should have deepened it. May be formal education makes the preservation of culture more systematically, more authoritativly, and be able to get the government fund to explore more about the ancient culture, etc.

In addition, with regards to the variabilityI think variability is not enough to express the reason why education should teach students to question and criticize, but the multiple phenomena which need acute discretion acquire them to question and criticize of modern society, what education should do besides cultivating them is to encourage them question and criticize. The ultimatelyultimate goal of education is a balanced development of all man’s nature, but not cloned man of their ancestors, however good and similar they may be. Besides, since the world is becoming and increasing eventful placethere is solecism and mismatching, with each passing day it becomes a harder masknot understand here to stick to the traditional ideas. So a regulation to which we belongedbelong to a regulation? in the past may have changed its nature and therefore no longer deserves our loyalty. For the reasons given above, skepticism and suspicion is also supposed to be encouraged.

As to discredit the ideas it fears, education cannot work so well. The reason is that to eliminate the heterodox opinion in wide scope calls for intimate cooperation of all dimensions of society. Moreover, taken to an extreme and on a mass scale, appeal towhat do you mean by using ‘appeal to’ here? the community environment rather than education fault has resulted in humanity's most crimes. By thisyou like using ‘by this’, but I feel it’s not an native usage I mean there is neither school nor university’m not sure whether juxtapose school and university is appropriate here, cause university belongs to school has initiated pupil into the principles of adulation and adulterationreally don’t understand your meaning. Can you explain your ideas?. But those things actually exist in our world. In another wordsdelete s, examples from the seamy side serve to illustrate the point that negative ideas cannot be annihilated by education only.

In conclusion, Disillusionment with the culture, however progressive and open it may be, is to some degree inevitable. This reality is proved by the fact that the number of cynic and decadence(颓废派,这个词红宝书里有哦) is mounting to astronomical figures and shows no sighs at present of ceasing to rise. Education shows its incapacity for doing this work thoroughly. Yet only through the collaboration in the scope of all society can we convey human culture in all its dimensions, and thereby full understand and appreciate life in a harmony and progressive environment.
呵呵，突然想用英文修改了一下，希望能看懂。觉得中文和英文哪种更好呢？
就提纲看来，你的思路和观点都是不错的。开头有点罗嗦，前两段表达还不错，不过后两段我就不怎么能看明白你说的意思了，总之感觉有点偏离文化继承/屏弃与教育的关系了。
印象中感觉你用了NCE4中的文章的思路，这很好，但是切记血的教训啊，不要重复，哪怕自己改写一下。还有呢注意句子写长的时候语法的正确性。

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板凳

发表于 2003-6-22 03:33:41 |只看该作者

Thanks a million, i will revise it.

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地板

发表于 2003-6-22 08:06:23 |只看该作者

最初由 gteryy 发布
[B]
I mean there is neither college nor university has initiated pupil into the principles of adulation and adulterationreally But those things actually exist in our world.
"don’t understand your meaning. Can you explain your ideas?. "
[/B]

我想表达的是: 我想没有哪个学院或者大学会教授学生们献媚和人品的不纯洁,但是这些负面效果的确在我们的世界里存在(所以说文化想摒弃的东西仅通过教育是不够的,还要社会各方面的合作)

关于第二段

最初由 gteryy 发布
[B]
do you write it yourself? I don't remember clearly whether it is exactly the same as an article in NCE4. but if it was written by yourself, that's good. fluent english.

[/B]

我的确是借用了NCE4里的句子,不过我没照抄,自己换了点词,也加了点词,好容易有一句被称赞fluent English还不是自己写的—_—！这就牵扯到一个新概念4的使用问题.

第二段