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[作文] qfaith的作文帖，fighting~~~ [复制链接]

qfaith
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2011-4-20 14:43:20 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

今天开了自己的作文帖，不能偷懒！

You are what you do !

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qfaith
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沙发

发表于 2011-4-20 16:23:20 |只看该作者

4.20 独立 Is it easier to be a success in the past than it is today?
In the long history of human beings, there appeared many successes. If it is harder to be a success today is a controversial topic. However, in my opinion, resulting from the well developed education system, technology and economy, it is much easier to be a success today.
In the past, it is harder for a person to get the necessary knowledge for being a success. Because of a poor educational system, only children born in a rich family had the chance to attend school. Most ordinary people didn’t have a good knowledge, not to mention being successes. However, along with the progress of the society, education system becomes more complete today. Common people have more opportunities to be educated. In schools, they learn the necessary skills to be successful.
There is never an epoch that has the same developing space as it today. The greatly developed technology and economic gives people a big favor to achieve their dreams. Take a successful chemist for example. With the help of precise equipment, he can get more data for his experiment. By using the Internet, he can get more updated materials in his research area. For those factors, it is easier for him to be successful than the older chemists in the past.
What’s more, today’s technology and economy create more opportunities. People can make full use of their advantages such as the talent of art and the great mind of business. The success career has more relevance with a person’s ability, instead of the background. If you are good at singing but do not have much money, you also can promote your songs through the Internet.
Thanks for the high level of economy, technology and education system, people today can easily get good knowledge, various opportunities and more assisting tools to be a success.

You are what you do !

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Yvaine198831
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板凳

发表于 2011-4-20 22:57:28 |只看该作者

2# qfaith
改好了~

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qfaith
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地板

发表于 2011-4-21 20:46:35 |只看该作者

4.21 独立

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yecochi
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5楼

发表于 2011-4-22 10:49:49 |只看该作者

0421獨立作文修改
一些個人建議，供您參考

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?, X5 {8 _+ I1 M' d" E$ O
It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the losing of oldfriends？

Some people are afraid of having to move to a new city or a new country because they thinkthey may lose old friends. But, in my opinion, I totally disagree with thepoint that moving to a new cityor a new country will cause the losing of old friends.

As we all know,communication is important in keeping a friendship. Long distance actually madecommunication between friends harder and less in the past. But nowadays, itis not true anymore thanks to the improvement of science and technology.With the popularity of Internet and telephone net, we can have a chat with ourfriends all over the world easily. When I was away from home for my collegestudy, I often talked with my old friends in high school on the Internet.Sometimes, we even had video chats, the feeling of which was just like we weretalking face to face.
(Talking through Internet or telephone is reallyconvenient.)
建議舉例後再回扣本段落觀點，如:Talking over the internet ortelephone helps us keep our friendship even though we are far away from eachother.扣題

It is not proper to accuse that moving to a new city ore country as the reason of losingold friends.(Topic sentence)
It is fact that even weare in the same city with our friends, we do not have time to meet them oftenbecause we all have own life. On the contrary/ In contrast, ifwe keep constant contact with friends, moving to a new city or country won’t ruin our friendship, but brings some benefits. Moving toa new place can enrich our experience and broaden our view, so that
we can have more topics to talkabout with our friends.

Another merit is that bymoving to a new cityor country, we can meet new people and have new friends. I met some of my bestfriends (in my life) when I lived in Xi’an. They got involvedin my life during my hard time and I learned a lot fromthem. If I was afraid of losing my old friends at that time, I would never knowthem, which would be a great loss.

As communication in longdistance is more convenient, moving to a new city or country do no harm to our friendship. In oppositeside, it can strengthen the relationship because of more shared topics and it alsoa good way to meet new friends. So, it is not true that moving to a new city or country is not a good thing because of losing ofold friends.
Shared topic 指”共同”話題。如果您想說可以分想住在不同地方的經驗給朋友的話…用interesting topics 比較好

just do it

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JoyceJingYang
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6楼

发表于 2011-4-22 20:38:22 |只看该作者

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?, X5 {8 _+ I1 M' d" E$ O
It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the losing of old friends？

Some people are afraid of having to move to a new city or a new country because they think they may lose old friends. But, in my opinion, I totally disagree with the point that moving to a new city or a new country will cause the losing of old friends.
As we all know, communication is important in keeping a friendship. Long distance actually made（makes） communication between us and friends harder and less than in the past. But nowadays, it is not true anymore thanks to the improvement of science and technology. With the popularity of Internet and telephone net, we can have a chat with our friends all over the world easily. When I was (am) away from home for my college study, I often talked (talks) with my old friends in high school on (via) the Internet. Sometimes, we even had (have) video chats, the feeling of which was (are) just like we were talking face to face. Talking through Internet or telephone is really convenient.
It is fact that even we are in the same city with our friends, we do not have time to meet them often because we all have our own respective life (lives). So it is not proper to accuse that moving to a new city ore（or）a country as the reason of losing old friends. If we keep constant contacts with friends, moving to a new city or country won’t ruin our friendship. In (On) the contrary, it has some benefits. Moving to a new place can enrich our experience and broaden our view. So we can have more topics to talk about with our friends.
Another merit is that by moving to a new city ore (or) a country, we can meet new people and have new friends. I met some of my best friends when I lived in Xi’an. They in my hard time and I learned a lot from them.( I learned a lot from them, who accompanied me during a hard time). If I was afraid of losing my old friends at that time, I would never know them, which would a great loss.
As communication in long distance is more convenient, moving to a new city or country do no harm to our friendship. In opposite side, it can strengthen the relationship because of more shared topics and it also a good way to meet new friends. So, it is not true that moving to a new city or country is not a good thing because of losing of old friends.

个人意见，仅供参考哈，如有错误，大家多多指点哈：
文章破题比较恰当，把进入新城市的好处与不会失去就朋友都说全了，（不像我就悲剧的过多提了进入新城市的好处，TAT）,思路清晰，要是再注意一些小细节和句法的多变就更好了。
哈哈，一起加油哈，我也是刚开始写的~~~

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qfaith
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7楼

发表于 2011-4-22 22:51:40 |只看该作者

4.22 独立
As the prosperity of modern movies and televisions, there are more kinds of themes being explained. Some movies and televisions begin to show something that is unusual. But I do insist that they should always show audience good people being rewarded and bad people being punished.
Firstly, movies and televisions which show audience good people being rewarded and bad people being punished have good educational function. They encourage people to do good things and not to do bad things. By hearing and seeing these movies and television constantly, people are more like to do good things but not bad things. When I was a child, all kind people in cartoons I saw lived a happy life in the end. So I believed that if I wanted to have a happy life, I must do many good things. This is really helpful for my growth.
Moreover, movies and televisions in which good people are rewarded and bad people are punished, have the function of entertainment and relax. Most people like to see optimistic movies. If in a movie, good people do not have good results and bad people have good results, it will make an uncomfortable atmosphere. Those movies and televisions cannot achieve the goal of entertainment. In contrary, they only make people feel awful.
When people are often exposed to movies in which good people are not rewarded and bad people are not punished. They may have the feeling that doing bad things would not bring bad consequences. So the criminal rate may rise. Our society will be dangerous.
All in all, movies and televisions should always show audience good people being rewarded and bad people being punished in order to ensure the goal of educating and please people. Otherwise, it will make a bad influence on the society.

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qfaith
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8楼

发表于 2011-4-23 22:02:43 |只看该作者

4.23 综合和独立谢啦！

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leungace
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9楼

发表于 2011-4-24 14:45:30 |只看该作者

4.23 revised by leungace
Although life is becoming much better, many people still often complain that they don’t feel happy. So the statement whether money makes people less happy arises as a heated discussion. Some people may think that people would be happier if they had fewer possessions. But in my opinion,( I think people have few possessions won’t be happier. 这个句子，太不够有亮点了。The more people possess, the happier they are. )

Firstly, people with a poor economical situation often have(no—>enough) money and time to enjoy lives. They don’t have enough money for the daily entertainment such as traveling and going to a gym. In my apartment, students whose family is rich often go to different places. They cannot only enrich experiences but also meet a lot of friends with different background. Compared to them, students whose parents do not have much money do not have those chances. Also, most of poor people must work hard for earning money. So they hardly have time to relax even for the common entertainment such as watching TV. Therefore, they feel less happy.

Secondly, people with few possessions usually have more worries. They are afraid of any emergencies such as one of the relatives gets sick. They must plan any income and expenses to keep(sustain) a family. If their child(children) wants(want) a piano(s) for the birthday, they will feel really awful for not being able to satisfying their kids. In fact, I wanted to be a writer when I was young. But learning drawing was too expensive for my parents to afford. So I must give up my interest and be an engineer because I did not want my parents to feel sorry for me.

I cannot deny that many rich people also feel unhappy of their life. But that is not because they have too many possessions. People who have much money and often complain about their life are those who do not have a good style of life. They are unable to make good use of their possessions. Therefore, even when they have less money, they won’t feel happy, either. （这段和你的中心论点不相符了吧，你是说the more they have, the happier they are. 现在你却跑去论证rich people unhappy了是因为其他的原因。。。这和你论点有什么关系。最好改为，有钱人不仅在物质上有钱，在精神上也很富裕，聚一两个例子，证明拥有的越多，就越开心）

In summary, poor people have fewer conditions for choosing want they like and want to do. And at the same time, rich people feel unhappy not because the richness. For these reasons, I totally disagree with the opinion that people would feel happier when they have fewer possessions.

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qfaith
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11楼

发表于 2011-5-3 22:51:19 |只看该作者

5.3 独立

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12楼

发表于 2011-5-4 18:03:04 |只看该作者

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qfaith
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13楼

发表于 2011-5-5 21:49:22 |只看该作者

5.5 独立+综合

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