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[作文] keaishu 托福写作 练习专用贴 [复制链接]

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发表于 2011-3-2 02:14:43 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
3.1 独立

写字板写的，放到word里面把有下划线的都改了。 我5月底考，以前TWE 4分的水平

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? the government should spend more money on education of the very young children than the education of universities

There is no doubt that the early education plays important role in our lives. It will have a great impact on the intelligence development and the formation of the characters. I totally agree that the government, actually the whole society, should be more attentive to the early education. However, the expenses invested in advanced education should take most of the grants, definitely.

The subjects in universities are more diverse and more specialized. A medium size university will have more than ten departments and dozens of the specializations and may over one hundred laboratories. Each laboratory should be equipped with modern facilities and precise instruments. The experiments carried on by the students are also highly cost.
The budgets cannot be cut off because the society needs the specialized and experienced talents. It will be more expensive if the fresh graduates need to be trained after school.

The basic facilities also need more money for universities. As we know that the early education is always near the residence, so the kindergartens only need classrooms and some activity space for the children. Most of the students choose to go to other places - sometimes far away from their hometown - for their campus life because they are grown up and want to experience a different life. So that each university actually is a small town, which contains dormitories, convenience shops, dining rooms, recreation center and sports field. Some universities even have their own hospitals and kindergartens!


That is enough for the hardware. The university costs more on the software also. The lecturers and professors in university are all Doctors of Philosophy! No doubt that the costs on human resources are much more on the advanced education. Also, the universities always support the students to attend the society or the competitions, which can inspire and build up the leadership and competence of the students. And a lot of universities provide the exchange program to broaden the horizon of the students. All these activities need financial support, which increase the expenses in university furthermore.

We have stated several reasons that the university should get more appropriations. But it is not mean that we need to pay most of the attention to the high education. We cannot tell the education in which stage is more important. In my opinion, the early education needs more caring, not money.
练习, 作文

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发表于 2011-3-2 13:09:26 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 伶女 于 2011-3-2 13:15 编辑

TWE是什么呀
你写的很好啊
观点明确，条理也很清晰，把attention和money分开说也是我没想到的呢

我也只是看了几篇GRE作文而已～ 有机会在Q上聊聊吧～～
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发表于 2011-3-2 17:15:40 |只看该作者
There is no doubt that the early education plays important role in our lives. It will have a great impact on the intelligence development and the formation of the characters. I totally agree that the government, actually the whole society, should be more attentive to the early education. However, the expenses invested in advanced education should take most of the grants, definitely.
 8 \# F9 R$ b% d; C6 R+ z9 P: W
The subjects in universities are more diverse and more specialized. A medium size university will have more than ten departments and dozens of the specializations and may over one hundred laboratories. Each laboratory should be equipped with modern facilities and precise instruments. The experiments carried on by the students are also highly cost.
The budgets cannot be cut off because the society needs the specialized and experienced talents. It will be more expensive if the fresh graduates need to be trained after school.

|1 [/ q3 B. B& i; G+ V
The basic facilities also need more money for universities. As we know that the early education is always near the residence, so the kindergartens only need classrooms and some activity space for the children. (后面的原因没有交代清楚，最好说因为kindergarten离家太近，导致horizon limited，这样引出后面可能好一点)Most of the students choose to go to other places - sometimes far away from their hometown - for their campus life because they are grown up and want to experience a different life. So that each university actually is a small town, which contains dormitories, convenience shops, dining rooms, recreation center and sports field. Some universities even have their own hospitals and kindergartens!1 s  v! I) f' Q6 [1 u. ^

That is enough for the hardware. The university costs more on the software also. The lecturers and professors in university are all Doctors of Philosophy! No doubt that the costs on human resources are much more on the advanced education. Also, the universities always support the students to attend the society or the competitions, which can inspire and build up the leadership and competence of the students. And a lot of universities provide the exchange program to broaden the horizon of the students. All these activities need financial support, which increase the expenses in university furthermore.

We have stated several reasons that the university should get more appropriations. But it is not mean that we need to pay most of the attention to the high education. We cannot tell the education in which stage is more important. In my opinion, the early education needs more caring, not money.

写得很棒，观点，条理都很清晰，我是没找出啥缺点- - 加油！！

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发表于 2011-3-3 00:37:37 |只看该作者
3.1 独立
今天同学生日，改晚了，抱歉啊
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发表于 2011-3-5 20:05:54 |只看该作者
Do you agree with the following statement? People should work quickly and risk making mistakes or should work slowly and make sure that everything is correct?#

As the human society developing faster and faster, most of us are experiencing a fast pace life especially who are in the modern city. Some people seem have infinite things to do and have a endless working hours. So there comes out a dispute that whether people should be patient and careful with their work or just let it finished. I definitely prefer working slowly and guarantee the quality of the work!

Most of the time, a careful and patient working style does not only keep us from mistakes but also brings credit to a high quality attainment. We can take the Hollywood film industry for instance. Some unknown directors keep shooting films; churn out several works per year. However, they are still unknown and churning. But some smart guy, like James Cameron, director of Titanic and Avatar, who cares about every little details, do not ignore any trivial things the others may considered as, now is holding two records of box  office for the successors to break through! Please slow down if it is possible, quality always means much more than quantities.

Another issue of working fast is that it may not save your time but even takes more. It is always takes more time to find out a mistake than to avoid a mistake. I was programming a lot when I was doing my undergraduate course. Sometimes I spent two days on programming but another two weeks debugging. It takes long time to clear all the errors in your program. If you want to save your time, not to comment in your program it will takes even more time for you to debug. The same thing goes in accounting where one decimal offset will enforce you to review the whole calculation. In the end, the 'slow' worker finishes earlier. So we should not risk making mistakes when we want to be faster. Is it a real faster way? Think before start.

The most critical thought for me to against the quick and careless working style is that it may result in an irreparable disaster. In my mind that some portion of the aircraft crashes are because of loose of the screw. If the workers take time and examined more carefully, some of the tragedy could be prevented. In these kinds of jobs, the most important thing is to make sure that everything is correct. One small mistake will lead to an uncountable cost.

As stated above, I am on the side of working slowly and making sure that everything is correct. We should increase our productivity, but under the prerequisite that we can guarantee the quality and most of all, no mistakes.
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发表于 2011-3-6 00:55:22 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 july07 于 2011-3-6 01:04 编辑

Do you agree with the following statement? People should work quickly and risk making mistakes or should work slowly and make sure that everything is correct?#
0 ]( f# T# X  G8 t  k) B6 d8 Q: p4 ^" V" A' z. p; T3 A
As the human society developing faster and faster, most of us are experiencing a fast pace life especially who are in the modern city. Some people seem have infinite things to do and have a endless working hours. So there comes out a dispute that whether people should be patient and careful with their work or just let it finished. I definitely prefer working slowly and guarantee the quality of the work!  y: H2 [
感觉most of us are experiencing a fast。。。 这里fast 换个词比较好 毕竟前面用过了。especially who are in the modern city感觉有点多余而且好象是语法错误。。。说的不对 请包含.  3句 there comes out a dispute that whether  that 应该可以去掉吧？
. t# e% N* d$ m& B4 |/ A: \
Most of the time, a careful and patient working style does can not only keep us from mistakes but also brings credit to a high quality attainment. We can take the Hollywood film industry for instance. Some unknown directors keep shooting films; churn这里应该是个动名词吧？ out several 这里应该用大量的作品吧 前面用了keep 而且你毕竟是说这些作品不好 小问题 一个建议哈。。works per year. However, they are still unknown and churning. But some smart guy, like James Cameron, director of Titanic and Avatar, who cares about every little details, do not ignore any trivial things the others may considered as, now is holding two records of box  office for the successors to break through! Please slow down if it is possible, quality always means much more than quantities.
3 y, f, @# \8 B4 [. Z8 W- ?3 [$ a' O9 V
Another issue of working fast is that it may not save your time but even takes more. It is always takes more time to find out a mistake than to avoid a mistake. I was programming a lot when I was doing my undergraduate course. Sometimes I spent two days on programming but another two weeks debugging. It takes long time to clear all the errors in your program. If you want to save your time, not to comment in your program it will takes even more time for you to debug. The same thing goes in accounting where one decimal offset will enforce you to review the whole calculation. In the end, the 'slow' worker finishes earlier. So we should not risk making mistakes when we want to be faster. Is it a real faster way? Think before start.
0 f# `, `9 V% t7 R1 s) G2 v$ ^$ |
The most critical thought for me to against the quick and careless working style is that it may result in an irreparable disaster. In my mind that some portion of the aircraft crashes are because of loose of the screw. If the workers take time and examined more carefully, some of the tragedy could be prevented. In these kinds of jobs, the most important thing is to make sure that everything is correct. One small mistake will lead to an uncountable cost. 7 o! w. r# j0 w8 C7 \' j
: s& o- w3 @% ^6 |) h. y
As stated above, I am on the side of working slowly and making sure that everything is correct. We should increase our productivity, but under the prerequisite that we can guarantee the quality and most of all, no mistakes
感觉语法错误有些。。第3.4段的例子很有说服性  [ 我怎么就没这么多例子.] .....结尾感觉稍微草率了点。

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发表于 2011-3-6 10:05:54 |只看该作者
Do you agree with the following statement? People should work quickly and risk making mistakes or should work slowly and make sure that everything is correct?#   w1 k0 K. B1 p0 s
% N  O% S7 R2 _7 d' @' ]: R
As the human society developing faster and faster, most of us are experiencing a fast pace life especially (those) who are (live) in the modern city. Some people seem have infinite things to do and have (have 感觉有点重复) a endless working hours. So there comes out a dispute that whether people should be patient and careful with their work or just let it finished. I definitely prefer working slowly and guarantee the quality of the work!

Most of the time, a careful and patient working style does not only keep us from mistakes but also brings credit to a high quality attainment. We can take the Hollywood film industry for instance. Some unknown directors keep shooting films; churn out several works per year. However, they are still unknown and churning. But some smart guy, like James Cameron, director of Titanic and Avatar, who cares about every little details, do not ignore any trivial things the others may considered as, now is holding two records of box  office for the successors to break through!（这个复杂句用的不错，但是单复数有问题，而且好像有两个谓语，some smart guy都holding two records of…） Please slow down if it is possible, quality always means much more than quantities.
+ L1 n4 d, w5 {2 \
Another issue of working fast is that it may not save your time but even takes more. It is always takes more time to find out a mistake than to avoid a mistake. I was programming a lot when I was doing my undergraduate course. Sometimes I spent two days on programming but another two weeks debugging. It takes （a） long time to clear all the errors in your program. If you want to save your time, not to comment in your program（，） it will takes even more time for you to debug (这句话的表述要斟酌，是不是要在not前加and?). The same thing goes in accounting where one decimal offset will enforce you to review the whole calculation. In the end, the 'slow' worker finishes earlier. So we should not risk making mistakes when we want to be faster. Is it a real faster way? Think before start.
$ M- E8 _3 u6 i* o2 l3 \
The most critical thought for me to against the quick and careless working style is that it may result in an irreparable disaster. In my mind that some portion of the aircraft crashes are because of loose of the screw. If the workers take （took） time and examined more carefully, some of the tragedy (tragedies) could be prevented. In these kinds of jobs, the most important thing is to make sure that everything is correct. One small mistake will lead to an uncountable cost. ; x- \+ S1 i+ R- m

As stated above, I am on the side of working slowly and making sure that everything is correct. We should increase our productivity, but under the prerequisite that we can guarantee the quality and most of all, no mistakes.
（举例相当不错！还有复杂句的使用。没什么大问题）

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发表于 2011-3-9 20:58:43 |只看该作者
3.9 帮 夜's Kim 发他的独立

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teacher should or not talking their social or political views to student in the class.

In my opinion, teachers can talk about their point of view towards social issues. It can help their students to broad interests and knowledge. However, they don’t have to do that. I will use my own experience and real-world examples to illustrate it.

When I was in Grade 9, I rarely read news but gossips about those singers and actors. Once, my teacher talked about economic crisis to us in class. I was so interested in it and though a lot after class. I asked my father how it formed and why it occurred. I knew various perspectives that different countries deal with it. I was attracted by economics. Now I become a Grade 11 student who chooses Economics to study and always get good score. I think this is mainly because at that time, my teacher introduced a new world to me through his speech about social and political views to us. Teachers should teach children ways to think.

However, I think teachers don’t have to do so since students have rights to accept or refuse teachers’ opinions. Take North Korea as a typical example. Citizens there are forced to accept such views that North Korea is the strongest country in the world and other countries are poor and need their help. Every teacher teaches this kind of views to every primary student. They cannot refuse it and finally believe it’s true. Thus, I can deduce that if teacher have to spread their ideas to students, a poor country which doesn’t have a high economic growth and development because of the improper education may appears.

From the examples above, I’d like to say that teachers can talk about their political or social views to students but they don’t have to do so since it may lead to a poor education and weird culture. More importantly, teachers should focus on teaching children how to think about the world.
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发表于 2011-3-9 23:07:59 |只看该作者
77
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发表于 2011-3-10 08:00:14 |只看该作者
趁着早上大家都没用网的时候来看看~。
葵葵我和你一组哒~
ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH!
HOPE TO THE END!!!

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发表于 2011-3-19 16:22:53 |只看该作者

3.19 独立

本帖最后由 keaishu 于 2011-3-19 16:26 编辑

Do you agree with the following statement? In order to be successful, it is more important to be like others other than to be different from everybody else.

It is an interesting topic that either to be common or to be particular in order to be successful. I am seeking the answers for this question for years and I believe that successful people are just diligent common people.

first problem is to clarify what kind of success you want to achieve. Are you going to be the next Bill Gates or Steve Jobs? Are you going to quit from your university and start to run a businiess? Frankly speaking, I do not believe quitting the university will add credits on someone's success but ruin the brilliant future. I would like to say that success does not mean you must be the in the leading position of a global company. There are lots of the successful people just around us. Such as the surgeons, laywers and professors, They are highly educated, both healthy and wealthy, and living a happy life with their family. If this is the success you are pursuing, you need to enter university and fight for the GPA, find a good job and gain a high salary. This is the way how normal people to achieve success. Without a high degree or a pleasant charateristic, people will encounter a lot of troubles in their life.

However, we heard too many stories how celebrities behave like a nerd. Issac Newton boiled his watch as an egg when he is absorbed by a book, Einstein never took care of his hair style, and recently several IT elites quitted from famous universities. Why are these people with hugh success so differet from the commons? Actually, this is a phenomenon that people are easily to remember something irregular. I do believe everyone did something that is ridiculous, but when it happens to a celebrity, we would like to talk about it and lough at it and easily remember it! Moreover, there is no clues that the big successes depend on these odds. What makes them successful is the effort, wisdom and a small portion of luck.

I would like to emphasize that even differed from culture and background, for all the successful people they have something in common - diligence. That does not mean that we need to behave differently to display the uniqueness to achieve success. Live your own life, be what you are, fit to the soceity, and most important make your efforts, you will succeed.
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发表于 2011-3-20 08:36:23 |只看该作者
3.19改好的作文。你的基础很不错，应该是考过G了。
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发表于 2011-3-20 22:31:12 |只看该作者
3.19独立作文中，我和你用同样的例子证明了完全相反的论点。可能是我们对题目的理解不同。你觉得勤奋是like others而我觉得是different from everyone。你的和其他人一样是指其他成功的人都很勤奋？但是我意思是为了成功必须更加勤奋（而不是和其他人一样一般勤奋或者不勤奋）。我不知道哪种理解是合理的，还是两个都可以。。。。

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发表于 2011-3-20 23:30:23 |只看该作者
It is an interesting topic that either to be common or to be particular in order to be successful.好像不是句子吧.I am seeking the answers for this question for years and I believe that successful people are just diligent common people.- R0 @$ O7 W% B  ~2 P; U& k5 }
" |) m$ O- i+ t, L
first problem is to clarify what kind of success you want to achieve. Are you going to be the next Bill Gates or Steve Jobs? Are you going to quit from your university and start to run a business? Frankly speaking, I do not believe quitting the university will add credits on someone's success but ruin the brilliant future. I would like to say that success does not mean you must be in the leading position of a global company. There are lots of the successful people just around us. Such as the surgeons, lawyers and professors, They are highly educated, both healthy and wealthy, and living a happy life with their family. If this is the success you are pursuing, you need to enter university and fight for the GPA, find a good job and gain a high salary. This is the way how normal people to achieve success. Without a high degree or a pleasant characteristic, people will encounter a lot of troubles in their lives. E* R8 S9 F7 h! K5 C* C
, |6 P2 W, J+ o4 y
However, we heard too many stories how celebrities behave like a nerd. Issac Newton boiled his watch as an egg when he is absorbed by a book, Einstein never took care of his hair style, and recently several IT elites quitted from famous universities. Why are these people with hugh success so different from the commons? Actually, this is a phenomenon that people are easily to remember something irregular. I do believe everyone did something that is ridiculous, but when it happens to a celebrity, we would like to talk about it and laugh at it and easily remember it! Moreover, there are no clues that the big successes depend on these odds. What makes them successful is the effort, wisdom and a small portion of luck.
5 l5 r3 k1 ~2 Z( b3 d+ m# x0 _; Q$ p6 W
I would like to emphasize that even differed from culture and background, for all the successful people they have something in common is diligence. That This does not mean that we need to behave differently to display the uniqueness to achieve success. Live your own life, be what you are, fit to the society, and the most important 可以去掉，这样与前面对应 make your efforts, you will succeed.
文章整体语言很好，观点清晰独特，但我觉得内容上只反驳的题目的一个方面，不太完整。


不好意思改晚了，最近事太多了，请见谅哈

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发表于 2011-5-11 22:22:21 |只看该作者
0511 TPO1 综合
独立 钱应该花到艺术还是休闲设施
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985，四分制GPA3.56，雅思7.5/5.5，建筑学专业，确定不去英国和美国，尽量读两年硕，能留就留，留不了进外企事务所，对转行比较中立不排斥，不反对（夸张点说就是：不是学建筑就要死要活的，也不是不学建筑就要死要活的）想问下选哪个学校比较好呀（港大建筑学因为作品集要求问题不考虑，欧洲接受学第二外语，但是德语区要APS不太考虑）
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渣绩点，求选校?目标读博 Econ
渣绩点，目标读博。? 心里比较偏向 UM 硬核的 EOR 貌似既然想读博的话怎么也离不开那些内容，但又怕自己到时候又读成一个渣绩点的学位； 不知道 Tilburg 这个一年制的 MSc 转 Research 有啥希望没； Saint-Etienne 和 Lyon II 好像本身不太有名？（法国系统看不太懂），但相关联的 GATE-Lyon-Saint-Etienne 貌似还不错，在这俩之间比较偏向 Saint-Etienne；然后 Caen Normandie 好像也不太出名吗？申法国时走 EEF 程序忘了上传 GRE（当然可能只是因为我渣绩点跟传不传 g 没关系），其他三所半志愿都被拒了。 当然最想去的（但把我拒绝了的）学校还是在法国，不知道读一个学校的 M1 再去申别的 M2 是否可以？（对了，传说中某校那个只招生26岁以下学生要求我没查证到）而且法国预计费用是真便宜啊…
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Royal College of Art
innovation design engineering
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The Hong Kong Polytechnic University
自动化
港理工Phd面试记录自我介绍老师提问：1.哪些是独立完成的工作2.Motivation Inovation分别是什么交流环节...
McMaster University
systems & tech
口语45s准备时间，1：30作答，写作没有准备时间，10min作答。口语为视频录制形式，准备时间不会录像，作答时...
The Hong Kong University of Science and Technology
TLE
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