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[作文] <Daily writing作文小组>蜗牛的作文贴 [复制链接]

Sudden2012
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2011-8-30 15:21:48 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

8月30日的，谢谢修改了，求拍

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奔跑蜗牛
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沙发

发表于 2011-8-30 18:39:42 |只看该作者

本帖最后由奔跑蜗牛于 2011-8-30 18:48 编辑

开头太冗长了
第三段主题句可以更明确些另外，对身体不好要和 Do well in School 联系好 Without a strong body, how can one do well in school even if he or she want to? 联系的太牵强
整体还好了

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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Sudden2012
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板凳

发表于 2011-8-31 12:56:10 |只看该作者

2# 奔跑蜗牛
谢谢蜗牛兄哈，之前好像有见过你呢~~建议我收下了，再谢·~

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zhangbao0607
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地板

发表于 2011-8-31 14:04:48 |只看该作者

改好了，发给你~~~

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chair020928
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5楼

发表于 2011-8-31 16:35:02 |只看该作者

改好了，加油

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chair020928
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6楼

发表于 2011-8-31 16:35:36 |只看该作者

改好了，在附件

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奔跑蜗牛
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7楼

发表于 2011-9-1 22:22:16 |只看该作者

直接贴文章吧方便看
:)

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Sudden2012
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8楼

发表于 2011-9-4 17:25:37 |只看该作者

7# 奔跑蜗牛
好的，多多指教哈~~

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Sudden2012
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9楼

发表于 2011-9-4 17:26:40 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 Sudden2012 于 2011-9-4 17:30 编辑

9月5日
TPO-4
The reading passage raises the issue that dinosaurs were endotherms, and it gives three evidences to support its statement. However, this statement is strongly weakened by the lecture, which provide drastically different ideas and argues that dinosaurs, an extinct species lived far long before us, can not be endotherms.

The professor begins by pointing out that the fossils found in polar regions is little indication that dinosaurs were endotherms. Actually, the polar region should be warmer than today, maybe warm enough for non-endotherms to live. Moreover, even if polar regions become cold, dinosaurs could migrate to warmer place or just hibernate. This declaration disagrees with the standpoint that the discovered place of dinosaurs' fossils could be one evidence to support dinosaurs were endotherms, (这句有点不好组织语言表达，请指教~)as demonstrated in the reading passage.

Then the professor goes on to maintain that leg position does not necessarily mean dinosaurs were endotherms. The reading passage is failing to consider alternatives to explain dinosaurs' leg position, such alternatives may include fact that leg beneath body can support more weigh so that dinosaur could grow into a large size. According to the reading, however, since dinosaurs' leg position is the same as all modern endotherms', dinosaurs were endotherms. Therefore,the lecture goes against what is presented in the reading.

Finally, the professor states that though dinosaurs really possess Haversian cannals, they have growth rings as well, which serve as the growth stimuli of dinosaurs. In fact, when it is cooler outside, dinosaurs' growing rate become slow, whereas endotherms' growth rate remain constant or increase. This point of view also casts doubt on the contents of the reading passage, which considers the presence of Haversian cannals is an indicator that dinosaurs were endotherms.

总觉得句子表达有点生疏，有点中式，每次都绞尽脑汁得去想怎么表达才好，耽搁很多时间啊，请指教，交流哈！

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Sudden2012
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10楼

发表于 2011-9-5 21:11:13 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 Sudden2012 于 2011-9-5 21:12 编辑

9月5日 20100619NA
Do you agree or
disagree with the following statement? If you need to discuss upsetting or
controversial problems with others, Using e-mail/text-messaging is better than
using telephone/voice-messaging.
When it comes to deal with upsetting or controversial problems with others, is it more sagacious to use e-mail/text-messaging than use telephone/voice-messaging? Some people hold this opinion since they consider e-mail/text-messaging might appear milder than telephone/voice-messaging. However, I stand at the antithesis of that opinion. From my point of view, I am in favor of the opinion that telephone/voice-messaging should be a better choice. I will amply state these reasons in turn.

First of all, telephone/voice-messaging is less likely to be misinterpreted than e-mail/text-messaging. That is to say different people have different interpretations when managing an e-mail/text-messaging, since this kind of message does not possess as much emotional information than telephone/voice-messaging does. For example, when discussing a controversial problem, say a racial problem, using e-mail/text-messaging may offend people for the reason that some contents in the e-mail/text-messaging might be misunderstood by people, whereas telephone/voice-messaging could convey the proper meaning. Thus, the controversial problem might become more intractable than it has ever been. In this case, to avoid unnecessary misunderstand, telephone/voice-messaging should be a wiser choice than e-mail/text-messaging.

In addition, when dealing with controversial or upsetting problems, telephone/voice-messaging is more efficient to the extent that e-mail/text-messaging can not reach. As is known to all, people receive e-mail/text-messaging from their e-mail box, and people check their e-mail box regularly instead of every time, whereas people can get telephone/voice-messaging from their cellphone all the time. Consider, when discussing an upsetting problem, it cannot be an efficient way to manage this kind of problem if one use e-mail/text-messaging, since this message cannot reach another person in time. Thus, the efficiency should be another reason why using telephone/voice-messaging is more sagacious.

Finally, using telephone/voice-messaging can cultivate people's communication ability and make people more socialized. Using e-mail/text-messaging does not require as much communication skills as using telephone/voice-messaging does, such skills may contain how to properly express one's emotion with voice, how to appropriately respond someone in a short time and so forth. In this sense, people who often use telephone/voice-messaging could acquire more communication skills than those who use e-mail/text-messaging.

In sum, since telephone/voice-messaging is less likely to be misinterpreted, more efficient and more skill-training than e-mail/text-messaging, using telephone/voice-messaging is a better choice than using e-mail/text-messaging to appropriately deal with upsetting or controversial problems.

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奔跑蜗牛
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11楼

发表于 2011-9-6 07:34:29 |只看该作者

When it comes to deal with upsetting or controversial problems with others, is it more sagacious to use e-mail/text-messaging than use telephone/voice-messaging? Some people hold this opinion （观点在哪里？）since they consider e-mail/text-messaging might appear milder than telephone/voice-messaging. However, I stand at the antithesis of that opinion. From my point of view, I am in favor of the opinion that telephone/voice-messaging should be a better choice. I will amply state these reasons in turn.
/ o) `( x4 A/ l! M/ I0 y; `$ w( `* Q8 C6 ?% b; r0 V+ [& e
First of all, telephone/voice-messaging is less likely to be misinterpreted than e-mail/text-messaging. That is to say different people have different interpretations when managing an e-mail/text-messaging, since this kind of message does not possess as much emotional information than telephone/voice-messaging does. For example, when discussing a controversial problem, say a racial problem, using e-mail/text-messaging may offend people for the reason that some contents in the e-mail/text-messaging might be misunderstood by people, whereas telephone/voice-messaging could convey the proper meaning. Thus, the controversial problem might become more intractable than it has ever been. In this case, to avoid unnecessary misunderstand, telephone/voice-messaging should be a wiser choice than e-mail/text-messaging.1 E8 ?7 z0无二三个班呢 r$ y9 x
为什么telephone meassaging就比e-mail messaging不容易误解
% i2 [; l$ X6 E' F" |9 O3 NIn addition, when dealing with controversial or upsetting problems, telephone/voice-messaging is more efficient to the extent that e-mail/text-messaging can not reach. As is known to all, people receive e-mail/text-messaging from their e-mail box, and people check their e-mail box regularly instead of every time, whereas people can get telephone/voice-messaging from their cellphone all the time. Consider, when discussing an upsetting problem, it cannot be an efficient way to manage this kind of problem if one use e-mail/text-messaging, since this message cannot reach another person in time. Thus, the efficiency should be another reason why using telephone/voice-messaging is more sagacious.
( x3 o3 J, ]7 B: B8 M# p' [9 y+ I' K9 `
Finally, using telephone/voice-messaging can cultivate people's communication ability and make people more socialized. Using e-mail/text-messaging does not require as much communication skills as using telephone/voice-messaging does, such skills may contain how to properly express one's emotion with voice, how to appropriately respond someone in a short time and so forth. In this sense, people who often use telephone/voice-messaging could acquire more communication skills than those who use e-mail/text-messaging.( k+ R1 K5 ]  e; r0 _

  u5 u3 Z% \( ^/ gIn sum, since telephone/voice-messaging is less likely to be misinterpreted, more efficient and more skill-training than e-mail/text-messaging, using telephone/voice-messaging is a better choice than using e-mail/text-messaging to appropriately deal with upsetting or controversial problems.

楼主严重有凑字数嫌疑啊  比如using telephone/voice-messaging is a better choice than using e-mail/text-messaging太多余了 to appropriately deal with upsetting or controversial problems.

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yanyan1228
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12楼

发表于 2011-9-6 18:22:02 |只看该作者

9月5日 20100619NA
Do you agree or
disagree with the following statement? If you need to discuss upsetting or
controversial problems with others, Using e-mail/text-messaging is better than; A9 y/ s( j4 [, a( _* `2 t: C: P
using telephone/voice-messaging.

When it comes to deal with upsetting or controversial problems with others, is it more sagacious to use e-mail/text-messaging than use telephone/voice-messaging? Some people hold this opinion since they consider e-mail/text-messaging might appear milder than telephone/voice-messaging. However, I stand at the antithesis of that opinion. From my point of view, I am in favor of the opinion ( opinion 重复比较多啊，可以换standpoint ,view 等) that telephone/voice-messaging should be a better choice. I will amply state these reasons in turn./ c7

First of all, telephone/voice-messaging is less likely to be misinterpreted than e-mail/text-messaging. That is to say different people have different interpretations when managing an e-mail/text-messaging, since this kind of message does not possess as much emotional information than telephone/voice-messaging does. For example, when discussing a controversial problem, say a racial problem, using e-mail/text-messaging may offend people for the reason that some contents in the e-mail/text-messaging might be misunderstood by people, whereas telephone/voice-messaging could convey the proper meaning. Thus, the controversial problem might become more intractable than it has ever been. In this case, to avoid unnecessary misunderstand, telephone/voice-messaging should be a wiser choice than e-mail/text-messaging.9 d) O0 }" f3 u; @- F" g! @

In addition, when dealing with controversial or upsetting problems, telephone/voice-messaging is more efficient to the extent that e-mail/text-messaging can not reach. As is known to all, people receive e-mail/text-messaging from their e-mail box, and people check their e-mail box regularly instead of every time, whereas people can get telephone/voice-messaging from their cellphone （复数）all the time. Consider, when discussing an upsetting problem, it cannot be an efficient way to manage this kind of problem if one use e-mail/text-messaging, since this message cannot reach another person in time.（用被动是不是更好，cannot be conveyed to ） Thus, the efficiency should be another reason why using telephone/voice-messaging is more sagacious.
. l: }' K/ k0 y
Finally, using telephone/voice-messaging can cultivate people's communication ability and make people more socialized. Using e-mail/text-messaging does not require as much communication skills as using telephone/voice-messaging does, such skills may contain how to properly express one's emotion with voice, how to appropriately respond someone in a short time and so forth. In this sense, people who often use telephone/voice-messaging could acquire more communication skills than those who use e-mail/text-messaging.- u% g+ M0 h( m

In sum, since telephone/voice-messaging is less likely to be misinterpreted, more efficient and more skill-training than e-mail/text-messaging, using telephone/voice-messaging is a better choice than using e-mail/text-messaging to appropriately deal with upsetting or controversial problems.(很多problem, 可以用issue ,matter)
(我水平很有限，但是你写的很不错啊，向你学习)

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