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[作文] 【Daily Writing】可他媽學點習吧，謝謝大家 [复制链接]

可他媽學點習吧
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2012-4-2 16:25:02 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由可他媽學點習吧于 2012-4-2 18:29 编辑

5年前這個時候讀大三，荒廢多年以後現在打算二進宮，3月1號從零開始，4月22號考，閱讀、寫作是弱項。而且寫作只會“拉家常，1、2、3，扣題”這一個種模式，無論綜合還是獨立，甚至口語也是這個模式。。。。
剛剛發現有這麼好的活動，多謝大家指導！我也盡我所能

Apr. 2 Independent Writing

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement it is important to know about what is happening around the world, even if it doesn’t affect your personal lives.

As the development of information technology has brought us tons of information every minute, we are surrounded by different news from every corner of the world. We are able to choose if we accept the information from everywhere just follow our own will. And I think it is important to know about what is happening around the world, even if it does not affect your personal lives at all.

First, we are living in a world with various opportunities and incidents; you will never know the future, about what will suddenly become part of your life after a nap, a phone call or even some strangers you accidentally meet on the street. So no one can be sure that if something really will not affect your personal lives forever. Meanwhile, the sea of information is right there on the internet which you can get on through the computer, newspaper, even your cellphone. So why not just do some reading and get ready for the potential chances that might come to you anytime.

Second, knowing more about the world gives you wider eyesight. Gradually, through reading about the news from different countries, areas, ethnics, and different culture backgrounds, you will no longer thinking in a very limited pattern that you have been familiar for many years. Sometimes, this vision changing will inspire people working or studying much more creatively. Also, knowing various cultures helps people dealing with friends or business partners from different places.

Third, knowing more about the world will help you establishing the social network easier. As we know, starting with a smooth conversation can usually lead to a positive future relationship between strangers. And what you need as a basic element for a conversation is a topic that you both know. So if you posses a larger range of knowledge about the world, you will definitely have more chance to find something you can talk about with others. Also, because the conversations that improve the personal relationship are mostly not very professional or technical, so it is better to know more areas than to know more details in one area.

So, based on the reasons above, I think it is important to know about what is happening around the world no matter how far away it is from you. You might seize your future success by the 10 minutes reading everyday when you are relaxing after dinner.

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可他媽學點習吧
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板凳

发表于 2012-4-2 16:28:41 |只看该作者

Apr. 2 Integrated Writing (TPO 3)

Based on the evidence that was illustrated by the professor in the lecture, the portrait of the Lady that was discussed in the passage was indeed Rembrandt's work.

First, the passage doubted who the real painter is because the "incorrect" light on the lady's face. This was proved by technical method that the collar below the lady's face was added on the painting a hundred years after all the other parts of the painting were finished. The original color of the collar was light. So it matches the light on the lady's face.

Second, the glued wood panel on the back of the painting was suspicious from what the passage said. This is also explained by the repainting process. It was not glued wood panel originally. It was only one piece of wood that was the same kind as Rembrandt once used in his other paintings. When someone repainted the collar on it, they added these glued panels to make it seem grand.

As the reasons above, researchers explained the doubt that the author of the passage listed and finally concluded that the painting of the lady was a Rembrandt's work.

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Arthur2012
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地板

发表于 2012-4-2 22:27:41 |只看该作者

2# 可他媽學點習吧 挺佩服lz的，能够有这样的决心和毅力，别的不说，祝lz好运，能取得一个理想的成绩，加油！作文已改，欢迎回改，但如果lz时间紧张，就不用了，毕竟只剩20几天了。

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可他媽學點習吧
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5楼

发表于 2012-4-3 13:04:06 |只看该作者

本帖最后由可他媽學點習吧于 2012-4-3 13:34 编辑

4# Arthur2012 多謝多謝！你給的建議非常中肯，很准確地指出了我現在存在的主要問題。你的我也嘗試著改了一下，我水平不高，但是也是用心改的

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可他媽學點習吧
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6楼

发表于 2012-4-3 15:34:01 |只看该作者

Apr. 3 Independent Writing

今天和明天的公共題目在原帖里都不見了，於是就寫了TPO14的，題目在文章里有注明，歡迎交流！多謝！

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秋雨荆州
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7楼

发表于 2012-4-3 17:08:58 |只看该作者

6# 可他媽學點習吧

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小乔木
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8楼

发表于 2012-4-3 22:24:31 |只看该作者

我级别还不够所以就直接粘出来看啦！

Since last century, traveling is gradually becoming a leisure relaxation for everyone from an adventure for wealthy people and expeditions.（这句结构有点乱，而且everyone和wealthy people是不是有重叠，relaxation和adventure又有点矛盾，建议梳理下结构） Further more, the range of travelling has widened from national to international. But even with all these conveniences, some people still consider that people benefit more from traveling in their own country than from foreign counties. I can hardly agree with that.

First, we have to admit that some mountains or oceans around the world are somehow similar， which means you can not always distinguish where the landscape located just by their looks. But what makes the landscapes so different from each other around the world? Clearly, the answer is people living in other areas with different culture background affects their natural views. So, if you are traveling in your own country you will only have a different visual experience. On the other hand, if you are traveling abroad, you will be able to find a wonderful natural landscape as well as experience a completely different life style.

Second, seeing different places around the world improves the way you think into a multi-dimension level(multi-dimension level似乎不太对). Staying at the same place and dealing with people who have similar ideas will definitely limit your eyesight in old model. Talking to people from different countrys and exchanging opinions with them will bring you different points of view about same issues which make it easier for people to handle daily work creatively and even change their views of the world. For example, teachers might learn new ways of communicating with their students; designers might find some inspirations from a foreign landmark.

Third, we are living in a world with different political powers which are able to affect the international policies between countries. No one can be sure that if the foreign country you traveling freely now will still be easily the sameto go next month. But what we do know is that we can travel in our own country any time we want. So, comparing with the risk of the availability of different traveling destinies, it makes more sense to go to the places with a potential risk in the future.

In conclusion, I seriously do not think that people benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries. We should put traveling to foreign countries in the prior position on our wish lists.
我感觉你的句子都说的有点绕，有些句子结构有明显的错误（比如有的句子有多个谓语），建议从简化句子方面入手。

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Igoon
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9楼

发表于 2012-4-4 00:11:12 |只看该作者

6# 可他媽學點習吧

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When in tough, progress comes.

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FlyingFie
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10楼

发表于 2012-4-4 06:41:52 |只看该作者

已改，欢迎回改。。加油！！！

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可他媽學點習吧
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11楼

发表于 2012-4-4 17:01:15 |只看该作者

April 4. Independent Writing

原帖里依舊沒有今天的topic，於是寫了TPO15里的那個，但是。。。。今天糗大了！

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秋雨荆州
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12楼

发表于 2012-4-4 19:17:51 |只看该作者

11# 可他媽學點習吧

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可他媽學點習吧
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13楼

发表于 2012-4-4 20:13:10 |只看该作者

12# 秋雨荆州 你說得對，看得很准！我寫的時候發現自己偏題以後就有點慌了，心緒完全亂掉！
不過再多看幾次你就會發現我永遠只會這一種寫作模式，或者說就這種最順手吧，就是只完全贊同一方觀點，然後找三個理由支撐這個觀點，再展開分析。大概就是按綜合寫作里的那個professor的lecture的思路來寫獨立寫作。。。。
句型和詞彙我比較弱，語法幾乎沒什麼理論依據，全靠語感。。。。。
Anyway，寫作我是弱項，一直特別迷茫，真心感謝你這麼認真幫我修改！

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