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foreverloves
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发表于 2004-11-25 15:01:03 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

issue 120 : " So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present."

In the new and complex modern world today, will the understanding of the past-the history-provides little guidance for living in the present? I totally disagree with it because understanding the past to living in the present is what the engine to a car and it plays an important role in driving/impelling us forward.

In the first place, knowledge and experience originate from the past. If we look back upon the human history, we will find it brutally true. From the ignition of the first stick used by our ancestor living thousands years ago to the invention of the match; from the signal fire as a way of communication to the invention of mobile phones; from inhabiting in the cave to living in the skyscraper, it is not difficult for us to find out how our human beings make use of the accumulated knowledge which generated from the past and undergo great progress. No knowledge can come into being in a sudden without the work of the predecessor just as a building can not be accomplished without the fundamental groundwork. In this respect, where there is no past, there is no knowledge. So is the same with experience as experience is a special kind of knowledge applied to practical life. Understanding the past helps us make progress.

In the second place, the plans one made for the future are usually based on the past. it is precisely right both for an individual or for a government. if a student is going to take the GRE exam, in the course of preparing, it is no doubt he will make his time schedule according to his ability, capability, studying habit which is largely driven from his own experience in the past preparing for the other similar tests. Though a little change would appear, it is undeniable that his essential reference is "the past". It is the same for a government when revising his "next-five-year "plan. Why it suggests reduce the interest of the deposition? Surely the amount of the money in currency is so small in the past five years. It is necessary to encourage consuming. Understanding the past helps us make future decisions.

Admittedly, with the development of science and technology, certain new things will appear and new never-occured phenomenon will be on the way. One good case in point is the cloned sheep Dolly. Quite a few sociologists worried about how to deal with "cloned man" and argued history can provide no guidance this time. However, the birth of a novelty does not indicate that the history is totally useless. To the contrary, history provides exact instructions. When the first car comes into being, history tells us it should be treated as a couch, though it runs faster. When the first computer is invented, history tell us it is no more than an abacus though it takes much room and works automatically. Each new discovery and invention has his prototype in history thus can be properly dealt with.

In sum, understanding the past will benefit us a lot. This can never change no matter how our society develops. The one who holds the idea that understanding the past provide little guidance in the new and complex world overlooks the history's lasting effect in our daily life.

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xiaohe
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沙发

发表于 2004-11-26 15:04:06 |只看该作者

哇，好文好文，赞一个。
考场上如能写出这样的文章，应该6分无疑了吧。

优点不用一一列举吧，结构、内容、语言。。。看评分说明就行了。

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foreverloves
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板凳

发表于 2004-11-26 15:50:26 |只看该作者

惭愧啊，严重超时
谢谢鼓励

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地板

发表于 2004-11-26 23:24:03 |只看该作者

不错，可以看出你很认真的在写，试图用写好的句子，body 3 还不错但是也暴露出语法错误很多，知识点不扎实。加油哦:)

issue 120 : " So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present."

In the new and complex modern world today, will感觉will 不合适，为什么用将来时？读起来很别扭，建议改为can the understanding.. provides any guidence..注意这里用any而不用little the understanding of the past-the history-provides little guidance for living in the present? I totally disagree with it这句不明确disagree with what???你前面的句子是个疑问句而不是陈述句也不是反问句！ because understanding the past to living in the present is what the engine to a car and it plays an important role in driving/impelling us forward.because 后面感觉语法有问题，请你给我分析一下句子成分

In the first place, knowledge and experience originate from the past. If we look back upon the human history, we will find it brutally true. From the ignition of the first stick used by our ancestor living thousands years 语法错误，改为thousands of years ago to the invention of the match; from the signal fire as a way of communication to the invention of mobile phones; from inhabiting in the cave to living in the skyscraper, it is not difficult for us to find out how our human beings makemade use of the accumulated knowledge which generated from the past and undergo underwent great progress. No knowledge can come into being in a sudden without the work of the predecessor just as a building can not be accomplished without the fundamental groundwork. In this respect, where there is no past, there is no knowledge. So is the same with experience as experience is a special kind of knowledge applied to practical life. Understanding the past helps us make progressprogresses.这段几个from...to...组成的排比似乎很漂亮，但是欠缺分析，即便你不能把每个from to 都分析下来，也至少应该论述一下其中的一个，比如人到底是怎么从钻木取火到使用火柴的，这里需要注意的是，你必须在此强调以前的经验和知识对于后来发明的作用。比如，人们从钻木取火中发现了火是怎样产生的，还明白了硫化物可以燃烧，火柴的诞生都是在这些前提下才成为了可能，所以历史经验和知识是对未来有意义的。虽然你本段后面也有不少分析，但是总感觉虚，是停留在表面上的套话，欠缺深入，就是针对一点深下去分析。

In the second place, the plans one made for the future are usually based on the past. 我个人感觉这个分论找的不太好，因为它基本等于本issue题目的改写it is precisely right both for an individual or for a government. if a student is going to take the GRE exam GRE is Graduate Record Exam for short , in the course of preparing, it is no doubt he will make his time schedule according to his ability make sth do 这里要加原型，因此改为make schedule accorde to...不要被习惯用法迷惑住, capability, studying habit which is largely driven from by his own experience in the past preparing for the other similar tests. Though a little change would appear, it is undeniable that his essential reference is "the past". It is the same for a government when revising his "next-five-year "plan. Why it suggests reduce the interest of the deposition? Surely the amount of the money in currency is so small in the past five years. It is necessary to encourage consuming. Understanding the past helps us make future decisions.

Admittedly, with the development of science and technology, certain new things will appear and new never-occured phenomenon will be on the way. One good case in point is the cloned sheep Dolly. Quite a few sociologists worried about how to deal with "cloned man" and argued history can provide no guidance this time. However, the birth of a novelty does not indicate that the history is totally useless. To the contrary, history provides exact instructions. When the first car comes into being, history tells us it should be treated as a couch, though it runs faster. When the first computer is invented, history tell us it is no more than an abacus though it takes much room and works automatically. Each new discovery and invention has his prototype in history thus can be properly dealt with.折段论述很好，不足之处是开头的处理，Admittedly是转折的标志，也就是转到了body1,2的反面，而你明明是在支持thesis，而且topic sentense没有概括本段的意思，建议去掉admittedly,从新构思主题句

In sum, understanding the past will benefit us a lot. This can never change no matter how our society develops. The one who holds the idea that understanding the past provide little guidance in the new and complex world overlooks the history's lasting effect in our daily life.

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5楼

发表于 2004-11-27 00:10:00 |只看该作者

issue 120 : " So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present."

In the new and complex modern world today, will the understanding of the past-the history-provides little guidance for living in the present? I totally disagree with it because understanding the past to living in the present is what the engine to a car and it plays an important role in driving/impelling us forward.

In the first place, knowledge and experience originate from the past. If we look back upon the human history, we will find it brutally这个词不太好 true. From the ignition of the first stick used by our ancestor living thousands years ago to the invention of the match; from the signal fire as a way of communication to the invention of mobile phones; from inhabiting in the cave to living in the skyscraper, it is not difficult for us to find out how our human beings make use of the accumulated knowledge which generated from the past and undergo［这个词也不好］ great progress. No knowledge can come into being in a sudden without the work of the predecessor just as a building can not be accomplished without the fundamental groundwork. In this respect, where there is no past, there is no knowledge. So is the same with experience as experience is a special kind of knowledge applied to practical life. Understanding the past helps us make progress.

In the second place, the plans one made for the future are usually based on the past. It is precisely right both for an individual or［and］ for a government. if a student is going to take the GRE exam, in the course of preparing, it is no doubt he will make his time［不用time了］ schedule according to his ability, capability, studying habit which is［are］ largely driven from his own experience in the past preparing for the other similar tests. Though a little change would appear, it is undeniable that his essential reference is "the past". It is the same for a government when revising his［还是不要用his，her之类的词了，我上次被人提了意见，然后回去查范文，发现好像没有这样用的，用its就行了］ "next-five-year "plan. Why it suggests reduce the interest of the deposition［语法不对哦，犯低级错误了］? Surely the amount of the money in currency is so small in the past five years. It is necessary to encourage consuming. Understanding the past helps us make future decisions.

Admittedly, with the development of science and technology, certain new things will appear and new never-occured phenomenon will be on the way. One good case in point is the cloned sheep Dolly. Quite a few sociologists worried about how to deal with "cloned man" and argued history can provide no guidance this time. However, the birth of a novelty does not indicate that the history is totally useless. To the contrary, history provides exact instructions. When the first car comes into being, history tells us it should be treated as a couch, though it runs faster. When the first computer is invented, history tell us it is no more than an abacus though it takes much room and works automatically. Each new discovery and invention has his prototype in history thus can be properly dealt with.

In sum, understanding the past will benefit us a lot. This can never change no matter how our society develops. The one who holds the idea that understanding the past provide little guidance in the new and complex world overlooks the history's lasting effect in our daily life.

［语言不错，结构清晰，赞］

［有几个问题：］
［（1）用词上还须注意，像brutally这个词是贬义的，还是不要同true联用］
［（2）题目的意思是因为现在的新东西太多太杂，所以我们回顾历史没什用。］
［但是在写作过程中，你的论点放在历史的作用上面，比如，历史可以给我们制］［定计划提供依据等等。］
［我是这样觉得的，题目的意思是要我们正面回应他的论点，即是不是东西太多］［太杂历史就没用了呢？诚然，你的论述是说明了历史的作用，但不妨在每段上］［加上点历史对所谓的新东西（我觉得一定要突出新东西的多和杂）的作用，比］［如，GRE的多和杂体现在哪里了？5年计划的多和杂体现在哪里了？等等，］［这样就完全正面回应了作者的提问］

cliffrunner-p@hotmail.com或者qq: 34004559
申请热能动力方向，希望多交流

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foreverloves
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6楼

发表于 2004-11-27 11:43:40 |只看该作者

issue 120 : " So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present."

In the new and complex modern world today, will感觉will 不合适，为什么用将来时？读起来很别扭，建议改为can the understanding.. provides any guidence..注意这里用any而不用little the understanding of the past-the history-provides little guidance for living in the present? I totally disagree with it这句不明确disagree with what???你前面的句子是个疑问句而不是陈述句也不是反问句！（接受，） because understanding the past to living in the present is what the engine to a car and it plays an important role in driving/impelling us forward.because 后面感觉语法有问题，请你给我分析一下句子成分（A to B is what C to D,and 后面的it有些不对了，本意it是指understanding the past）

In the first place, knowledge and experience originate from the past. If we look back upon the human history, we will find it brutally true. From the ignition of the first stick used by our ancestor living thousands years 语法错误，改为thousands of years ago to the invention of the match; from the signal fire as a way of communication to the invention of mobile phones; from inhabiting in the cave to living in the skyscraper, it is not difficult for us to find out how our human beings makemade use of the accumulated knowledge which generated from the past and undergo underwent great progress. No knowledge can come into being in a sudden without the work of the predecessor just as a building can not be accomplished without the fundamental groundwork. In this respect, where there is no past, there is no knowledge. So is the same with experience as experience is a special kind of knowledge applied to practical life. Understanding the past helps us make progressprogresses.这段几个from...to...组成的排比似乎很漂亮，但是欠缺分析，即便你不能把每个from to 都分析下来，也至少应该论述一下其中的一个，比如人到底是怎么从钻木取火到使用火柴的，这里需要注意的是，你必须在此强调以前的经验和知识对于后来发明的作用。比如，人们从钻木取火中发现了火是怎样产生的，还明白了硫化物可以燃烧，火柴的诞生都是在这些前提下才成为了可能，所以历史经验和知识是对未来有意义的。虽然你本段后面也有不少分析，但是总感觉虚，是停留在表面上的套话，欠缺深入，就是针对一点深下去分析。(接受)

In the second place, the plans one made for the future are usually based on the past. 我个人感觉这个分论找的不太好，因为它基本等于本issue题目的改写it is precisely right both for an individual or for a government. if a student is going to take the GRE exam GRE is Graduate Record Exam for short , in the course of preparing, it is no doubt he will make his time schedule according to his ability make sth do 这里要加原型，因此改为make schedule accorde to...不要被习惯用法迷惑住（according to 当作介词来使用可以吗？make his time schedule是想表达制定时间表的意思），, capability, studying habit which is largely driven from by（drive from 是不是有来自于的意思，貌似在哪里遇到过） his own experience in the past preparing for the other similar tests. Though a little change would appear, it is undeniable that his essential reference is "the past". It is the same for a government when revising his "next-five-year "plan. Why it suggests reduce the interest of the deposition? Surely the amount of the money in currency is so small in the past five years. It is necessary to encourage consuming. Understanding the past helps us make future decisions.

Admittedly, with the development of science and technology, certain new things will appear and new never-occured phenomenon will be on the way. One good case in point is the cloned sheep Dolly. Quite a few sociologists worried about how to deal with "cloned man" and argued history can provide no guidance this time. However, the birth of a novelty does not indicate that the history is totally useless. To the contrary, history provides exact instructions. When the first car comes into being, history tells us it should be treated as a couch, though it runs faster. When the first computer is invented, history tell us it is no more than an abacus though it takes much room and works automatically. Each new discovery and invention has his prototype in history thus can be properly dealt with.折段论述很好，不足之处是开头的处理，Admittedly是转折的标志，也就是转到了body1,2的反面，而你明明是在支持thesis，而且topic sentense没有概括本段的意思，建议去掉admittedly,从新构思主题句

In sum, understanding the past will benefit us a lot. This can never change no matter how our society develops. The one who holds the idea that understanding the past provide little guidance in the new and complex world overlooks the history's lasting effect in our daily life.

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foreverloves
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7楼

发表于 2004-11-27 12:16:49 |只看该作者

好像见过brutally true的用法,其他的语法错误我记下了，谢谢
另外就是算不算偏题的问题，是不是只要能证明自己的观点就可以了，这个观点是围绕作者的观点的，而不是单单针对作者的观点

继续讨论啊

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8楼

发表于 2004-11-27 18:24:28 |只看该作者

because understanding the past to living in the present is what the engine to a car and it plays an important role in driving/impelling us forward.because 后面感觉语法有问题，请你给我分析一下句子成分（A to B is what C to D,and 后面的it有些不对了，本意it是指understanding the past）

-------这句不通顺，A to B is what C to D是什么意思？我只见过A to B is C to D What 在里面做什么成份？你这里用的是比喻意，我认为应该改成A to B is like C to D

2 it is no doubt he will make his time schedule according to his ability make sth do 这里要加原型，因此改为make schedule accorde to...不要被习惯用法迷惑住（according to 当作介词来使用可以吗？make his time schedule是想表达制定时间表的意思）

这样也可以

3 studying habit which is largely driven from by（drive from 是不是有来自于的意思，貌似在哪里遇到过）

没见过这种用法

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9楼

发表于 2004-11-28 14:50:17 |只看该作者

3 studying habit which is largely driven from by（drive from 是不是有来自于的意思，貌似在哪里遇到过）

没见过这种用法

莫非是 "derive from" ??

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10楼

发表于 2004-11-30 17:54:17 |只看该作者

driven from

Simple systems driven from equilibrium will spontaneously form patterns. For example, a thin layer of liquid heated from below develops hexagonally ordered convection cells. The Earth is a system driven by the constant flux of energy from the sun and geothermal processes, and we see around us an enormous variety of organized structures: hurricanes, the earth’s magnetic poling, and the Devil's post pile. Are these structures like the patterns of simple systems: an inevitable product of the forcing? Is life itself a generic manifestation of driven systems? These are fascinating issues that research on non-equilibrium systems and pattern formation will hopefully one day answer.

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