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[i习作temp] Issue221 下午再接再厉，打字速度上去了，又是没有修改完! [复制链接]

翦瞳
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-7-28 16:47:35 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TO：各位大虾！
我总是修改不完，是不是应该少写点，检查一遍啊？
结尾是不是应该扣题？再展开一下吗？
共用时间：45分1秒 589 words
从2005年6月28日15时1分到2005年6月28日15时45分
------题目------
The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history.
------提纲------
1、历史的作用（简单提了）
2、人本质的一致性
3、科学领域的一致性
4、外部环境的变化
History is a mirror which reflects the human intrinsic characters. History also provides evidence to foresee the future. A philosopher said: if one wants to forecast future he must learn from history, for there is always recurrence in history. As for this aspect, studying history can help us to discover the essential and eternal personalities of human beings below the superficial various life styles. After all, human is human who could not change a lot in the interior characters.

The history always repeated what it had experienced. For example, in ancient times, human society never stopped wars and was filled with poverty, violence and aggress, which was the same as the current world. The reason which resulted in wars or violence was never changed though the society had changed a lot. It was aggressive and grasping essential. The powerful side always found some pretexts, even having no pretexts to occupy other countries in order to seize natural sources. By means of studying history, we would understand the human disadvantage which can cause a war. The idiom is suitable to past time as well as to current time. We are not better than ancestors or worse than ancestors. With the same intrinsic characters, we are just the same.

When we consider the scientific field, history can also tell our similarity with our ancestors. Copernicus proposed the sun was the center of universe, which was rejected and prohibited by the contemporary authority. He strived hard to make his theory acknowledged. As well as Copernicus, when Einstein claimed his great theory: relativity, most physical scientists were confused and did not agree with his theory. The experiences of the two scientists were not different, if not the same, in the essential: new theory is always rejected by the old one. As long as we understand this point, we will easily explain lots of problems in present society, because we have some examples or precedents to consult. Therefore, we are encouraged to study history to forecast the future in light of the rules deep in human thoughts. In fact, it is always effective in scientific affairs. Nowadays, more people rely on personal development programs after studying the experiences of our ancestors. If we want to become a successful business man, what subjects should we major in, what errors should we avoid and what kinds of abilities should we exercise consciously in the preparing time? Generally speaking, the study of history can help us to foresee.

Considering the conformity in human society, some may regard there is no difference between the past and the current, even the future society. However, it is not the absolutely same as the past time in that technology brings us many changes in our surroundings though it has not altered human being interiorly. For example, even the cause and the essential of wars at the present are the same as past ones, the weapons and areas has a lot of difference. In ancient time, they had no trifles, tanks, planes, nuclear bombs, so they did not fight on the air and in the sea. The battle occurred in diverse areas and the war itself became more cruel and fierce. The environment humankind live in had changed a lot also. The area we can access to is broader than ever before. As for the exterior circumstance, the society has changed, even differs significantly in some aspects.

In sum, studying history can help to understand that interior and exterior characters of human society are different in the changing situations. The human personalities are the same while the outer surrounding had altered.

爱
诗歌比赛
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-932648-1-1.html
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https://bbs.gter.net/forum-2-1.html
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https://bbs.gter.net/forum-485-1.html
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mvpzhuang
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沙发

发表于 2005-7-28 17:30:53 |只看该作者

我还没开始弄issue 只能帮你顶一下哈

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翦瞳
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板凳

发表于 2005-7-28 19:24:45 |只看该作者

看来你作文很晚考

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dingzj
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地板

发表于 2005-7-28 21:12:38 |只看该作者

------题目------
The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history.
------提纲------
1、历史的作用（简单提了）
2、人本质的一致性
3、科学领域的一致性
4、外部环境的变化
History is a mirror which reflects the human intrinsic characters. History also provides evidence to foresee the future. A philosopher said: if one wants to forecast future he must learn from history, for there is always recurrence in history. As for this aspect, studying history can help us to discover the essential and eternal personalities of human beings below the superficial various life styles. After all, human is human who could not change a lot in the interior characters.

The history always repeated what it had experienced. For example, in ancient times, human society never stopped wars and was filled with poverty, violence and aggress, which was the same as the current world. The reason which resulted in wars or violence was never changed though the society had changed a lot. It was aggressive and grasping essential. The powerful side always found some pretexts, even having no pretexts to occupy other countries in order to seize natural sources. By means of studying history, we would understand the human disadvantage which can cause a war. The idiom is suitable to past time as well as to current time. We are not better than ancestors or worse than ancestors. With the same intrinsic characters, we are just the same.

When we consider the scientific field, history can also tell our similarity with our ancestors. Copernicus proposed the sun was the center of universe, which was rejected and prohibited by the contemporary authority. He strived hard to make his theory acknowledged. As well as Copernicus, when Einstein claimed his great theory: relativity, most physical scientists were confused and did not agree with his theory. The experiences of the two scientists were not different, if not the same, in the essential: new theory is always rejected by the old one. As long as we understand this point, we will easily explain lots of problems in present society, because we have some examples or precedents to consult. Therefore, we are encouraged to study history to forecast the future in light of the rules deep in human thoughts. In fact, it is always effective in scientific affairs. Nowadays, more people rely on personal development programs after studying the experiences of our ancestors. If we want to become a successful business man, what subjects should we major in, what errors should we avoid and what kinds of abilities should we exercise consciously in the preparing time? Generally speaking, the study of history can help us to foresee.

Considering the conformity in human society, some may regard there is no difference between the past and the current, even the future society. However, it is not the absolutely same as the past time in that technology brings us many changes in our surroundings though it has not altered human being interiorly. For example, even the cause and the essential of wars at the present are the same as past ones, the weapons and areas has a lot of difference. In ancient time, they had no trifles, tanks, planes, nuclear bombs, so they did not fight on the air and in the sea. The battle occurred in diverse areas and the war itself became more cruel and fierce. The environment humankind live in had changed a lot also. The area we can access to is broader than ever before. As for the exterior circumstance, the society has changed, even differs significantly in some aspects.

In sum, studying history can help to understand that interior and exterior characters of human society are different in the changing situations. The human personalities are the same while the outer surrounding had altered.

看了一遍，有一些小的意见：
前后照应的问题，第一段只是说历史和人的内在本性，最后又提到人类外部特征，是否可以在第一段稍加补充，半句也行。

我的观点是：
1。研究历史的确可以发现，人类本性在很大程度上在不同程度上没有太多变化
2。但是随着科技、经济、政治等的发展，人类的观念又在一定程度上有了不少变化，如人权，环保，民主等。
3。研究历史最主要的好处不只是得到不同时期人差不多的结论吧，还有你说的对未来的预测，以及对当今的借鉴意义，这也好处也很重要吧，因此可以在chief benifit上稍加批驳，可以再这方面再加点文字，不过你写的这么多已经很牛了，。。。

新手评论，不当之处，还请指教

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5楼

发表于 2005-7-28 22:11:28 |只看该作者

你可真是速度阿
一天写那么多篇，向你学习
明天帮你看这篇
这是我的一篇政治类，有空帮我看看哈
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ;highlight=%2Bahqiu

谢谢你，虽然我只想亲吻一片雪花，你却给了我银色的世界。

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6楼

发表于 2005-7-28 22:19:16 |只看该作者

To 楼上战友：
Issue也要照应的？我看了点范文，只是在递进，所以就没有考虑，另外主要原因是，整个思路是随着写，慢慢出来的，而不是一开始的框架。

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7楼

发表于 2005-7-29 00:42:05 |只看该作者

看来我还是写的少了，没有太多体验啊
学习~~~!

Originally posted by 翦瞳 at 2005-7-28 22:19
To 楼上战友：
Issue也要照应的？我看了点范文，只是在递进，所以就没有考虑，另外主要原因是，整个思路是随着写，慢慢出来的，而不是一开始的框架。

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8楼

发表于 2005-7-29 01:06:04 |只看该作者

呵呵，楼主，你写得真多，最近在下也在努力加速。。哈哈。。

05.10.22 。。。。
～～广外～～

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9楼

发表于 2005-7-29 01:15:53 |只看该作者

Originally posted by dingzj at 2005-7-29 00:42
看来我还是写的少了，没有太多体验啊
学习~~~!

不是啦！是我的思维很散，写着就有新的东西（列提纲时没想到的）冒出来，写上去了，但就有点跑了！
我也不知道这样可不可以！有待考证！

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10楼

发表于 2005-7-29 02:05:36 |只看该作者

Originally posted by 翦瞳 at 2005-7-29 01:15

不是啦！是我的思维很散，写着就有新的东西（列提纲时没想到的）冒出来，写上去了，但就有点跑了！
我也不知道这样可不可以！有待考证！

呵呵，真正考试时候靠得只是直觉。。intuition.

05.10.22 。。。。
～～广外～～

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11楼

发表于 2005-7-29 15:36:18 |只看该作者

History is a mirror which reflects the human intrinsic characters. History also provides evidence to foresee the future. A philosopher said: if one wants to forecast future he must learn from history, for there is always recurrence in history. （quotation很不错）As for this aspect, studying history can help us to discover the essential and eternal personalities of human beings below the superficial various life styles. After all, human is human who could not change a lot in the interior characters. （厉害，觉得你进步好大啊，开头很不错，阐明了自己的观点，而且没有模板的痕迹）

The history always repeated what it had experienced. For example, in ancient times, human society never stopped wars and was filled with poverty, violence and aggress（aggression）, which was the same as the current world. (向你学习，例子很简短)The reason which resulted in wars or violence was never changed though the society had changed a lot. It was aggressive and grasping （用greedy好像更好些，都对）essential. The powerful side always found some pretexts, even having no（without） pretexts to occupy other countries in order to seize natural sources(resources).（也不一定是这个理由的,人算不算？奴隶，财富，资源，怎么写到一起呢，我也没想好，不过nature resources可能不能概括这么多哦） By means of studying history, we would understand the human disadvantage which can cause（直接用了lead to好了，不用can） a war. The idiom(什么？没有理解，呵呵) is suitable to past time as well as to current time.（is suitable to the past as well as present简洁一些） We are not better than ancestors or worse than ancestors（We are not better or worse than our ancestors. Due to the same intrinsic characters, we are just the same. 觉得这样读起来好）. With the same intrinsic characters, we are just the same.
不要被我改的吓倒了，只是写句子上的问题，立意很好，说理比我convincing,硬是没调出错来。
When we consider the scientific field, history can also tell our similarity with our ancestors. Copernicus proposed the sun was the center of universe, which was rejected and prohibited by the contemporary authority. He strived hard to make his theory acknowledged.（这句话有点多余，其实不用说那么多） As well as Copernicus, when Einstein claimed his great theory: relativity, most physical scientists were confused and did not agree with his theory. The experiences of the two scientists were not different, if not the same, in the essential: new theory is always rejected by the old one. （厉害，把其他题目的观点都用上了，我什么时候才能有这种功力）As long as we understand this point, we will easily explain lots of problems in present society, because we have some examples or precedents to consult. Therefore, we are encouraged to study history to forecast the future in light of the rules deep in human thoughts. In fact, it is always effective in scientific affairs. Nowadays, more people rely on personal development programs after studying the experiences of our ancestors. If we want to become a successful business man, what subjects should we major in, what errors should we avoid and what kinds of abilities should we exercise consciously in the preparing time? Generally speaking, the study of history can help us to foresee. （这段话怎么觉得写跑题了呢，想论证的是一致性，却说可以预测未来，这可能是根据一致性推出来的，却用了大段的文字来说，因为可以预测将来，而得出一致性？好像是反，你觉得呢了，可以少写，而且本段的最后一句都已经远离你的中心句了）
Considering the conformity in human society, some may regard there is no difference between the past and the current（一般current不那么用present）, even the future society. However, it is not the absolutely same as the past time in that technology brings us many changes in our surroundings though it has not altered human being interiorly. For example, even the cause and the essential of wars at the present are the same as past ones, the weapons and areas has a lot of difference. In ancient time, they had no trifles, tanks, planes, nuclear bombs, so they did not fight on the air and in the sea. The battle occurred in diverse areas and the war itself became more cruel and fierce. The environment humankind live in had changed a lot also. The area we can access to is broader than ever before. As for the exterior circumstance, the society has changed, even differs significantly in some aspects.（好像没把环境和人联系起来，时代变了，社会的文明程度不一样了，现代人和古代人的观念肯定不一样，从这方面想想看）
In sum, studying history can help to understand that interior and exterior characters of human society are different in the changing situations. The human personalities are the same while the outer surrounding had altered.
总的来说这篇文章显示斜的很不错了，你的进步很明显阿，本来说理就很好，现在遣词造句也不错了。
觉得B2可能需要再仔细考虑
觉得B3保留段与本题目没有多大关系，本来说人，你却在讲环境，题目没有不承认环境在变啊，没太看懂你的意思的说。一面之词，嘿嘿！
我现在总是限时失败，备受打击的说，请教一下怎么写的那么快，思维那么敏捷呢？

谢谢你，虽然我只想亲吻一片雪花，你却给了我银色的世界。

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翦瞳
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12楼

发表于 2005-7-29 22:38:03 |只看该作者

谢谢各位的评论！这几天我要专注改原来的作文了！真的谢谢了，你们对我的帮助好大！考完回来，再一一道谢！

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翦瞳
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13楼

发表于 2005-7-30 11:52:57 |只看该作者

修改了一个上午，越改越郁闷！
History is a mirror which reflects the human intrinsic characters. As for this aspect, studying history can help us to discover the essential and eternal personalities of human beings below the superficial various life styles. However, we can get more than human conformity from studying history.

In all ages, human intrinsic characters have not changed significantly. For example, in ancient time, human society never stopped wars and was filled with poverty, violence and aggression, which was the same as the present world. The reason which resulted in wars or violence was never altered though the society had changed a lot. It was aggressive and grasping essential. The powerful side always found some pretexts, even having no pretexts to occupy other countries in order to seize natural sources. On the other hand, as time goes on, the benign morality and virtue have not changed too, such as honesty, loyalty, generosity and compassion. In fact, moral standards are accumulated in history and consistent with our ancestors. By means of studying history, we would understand human persistent essential both in malicious and benign aspects. We are not better than ancestors or worse than ancestors. With the same intrinsic characters, we are just the same.

When we consider the specific field, history can also tell our similarity with our ancestors. Copernicus proposed the sun was the center of universe, which was rejected and prohibited by spiritual court. He strived hard to make his theory acknowledged. As well as Copernicus, when Einstein claimed his great theory: relativity, he was suspected by other scientists and they are confused with his theory. The experiences of the two scientists were not different, if not the same, in the essential: new theory is always rejected by the old one and stick to the correct belief even it is not compatible with the authority. As for political affairs, we all know American Constitution is a precedential law in which former trials can be regarded as precedents to provide the creterion for the court to rely on when there are new cases to deal with. In fact, most new cases can be compared to given precedents. In other words, we almost face same problems and commit same errors as our forebears. In this case, we resemle our ancestors.

Nevertheless, what we can benefit from history is not only the conformity of human kind. Through studying history we can have an overall perspective on the coming affair to avoid mistaken decision and achieve long-term prosperity. For example, when considering that the Nazism had brought humankind a slaughter involved billions of people all over the world, we should take action to prevent Nazism from recurrence in order to keep peaceful and stable earth for human being to survive. Since a kind of medicine to cure nausea of pregnant women has caused many misshapen children, we should consider more prudently and ensure its security before we advocate new medicines to the public. Those who do not know the past are condemned to repeat it. To some extent, the latter effect of history is more important and beneficial than awareness of historical conformity for human beings.

In sum, the interior characters of human society are consistent in the changing society. However, we should learn from history more than the eternal and persistent personalities. The historical experience and lessons can help us get a more comfortable and peaceful world which is the major benefit.