寄托家园留学论坛 › 论坛 › 寄托学术类备考版 › GRE作文互动版 › issue38 我的issue处女作，大家来拍啊

返回列表

查看: 593|回复: 5

[i习作temp] issue38 我的issue处女作，大家来拍啊 [复制链接]

real_vc
UID??195631

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 0
寄托币: 673
注册时间: 2005-2-14
精华: 0
帖子: 0

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-7-27 23:14:39 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

有拍必回
同时求互拍
本人8月底作文，上海
谢谢
Issue 38
38"In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."

Speaker contends that in the television times, reading books is less important than it was and people can learn by watching television as much as from books. I strongly disagree speaker’s contention. I concede that in some case watching television is an efficient way of learning. In most cases, television cannot substitute books when we are learning.

Admittedly, watching television provides us a lot of information such as news and weather forecast. It is easy to update, but books are not. In this case, watching television is more convenient than reading. We can watch television while we are having a dinner. In some area such as arts, television is superior to books. For instance, when we are enjoying a work made by Picasso, television gives us an intuitionistic and large vivid vision or image. But books can hardly describe the art work properly and even some works cannot be described in word only enjoyed by sense. In addition, television can provide us instant and newest information or knowledge. But books can hardly do so. When the book is update and reprinted, new instant things is coming. Yet, your book hasn’t been republished. Thus, in these cases television does have some inherent advantages. Speaker’s claim has some merit in some areas.

In speaker’s claim, However, he concluded that reading books is less important in television age because what we learn by television is as many as what we learn from books. Isn’t this reason true and sufficient? Information or knowledge learned by television may not be as accurate and true as books showing us. Many TV series, for example, are based on famous writers’ works such as novels and scientific fictions. Even one work was used several times by different directors and actors. They also performed differently in their TV series. Therefore, what we see are that one work has several performances. We should trust which TV series that reflected authors’ idea and life philosophic theorem truly. They each might only express part of them. In addition, many directors add their ideas and many redundant contents in the TV series. We may misunderstand the book’s authors; even learn many wrong things from them. Yet, if you have read the works in books, you will learn right ideas and principles. What you learn should be more than learning from television. You also can conclude your own opinions which you think are helpful to you from the original works. It is too absolutely to say we can learn by watching the same as reading books.

Speaker also ignored the importance of reading books in his contention. I hold an opposite view to speaker’s. I think whatever age we are in, reading books is a most important way to learn. Books are more systemic, but television is not. In library, for example, books are classified and in order. We can easily find what we want. However, television broadcasts a mess of information. It doesn’t care what viewers are and what grades of their education are. It provides same information to everyone no matter you really need them or not. To someone who well educated, they can pick what we want from the mess, but for children who cannot distinguish what they need to learn, it may result negative influence. Books, such as textbook, are also classified to satisfy different grade students’ different needs. Textbooks are compiled by experts in education. They know what kind of student need to learn what kind of knowledge. To a student whose majority is management, for example, thermodynamics which is majored by mechanical engineering students cannot appear in their textbooks. Thus, it can be seen books cannot be substitute by television.

In sum, television can be more efficient and convenient in art area and providing instant information. However, television cannot replace the status of books in learning, even in the age of television. Nowadays, reading books is still most important way to learn.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-27 at 23:30 ]

回应
0

使用道具举报

real_vc
UID??195631

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 0
寄托币: 673
注册时间: 2005-2-14
精华: 0
帖子: 0

沙发

发表于 2005-7-28 12:08:29 |只看该作者

没人回阿
失望

使用道具举报

real_vc
UID??195631

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 0
寄托币: 673
注册时间: 2005-2-14
精华: 0
帖子: 0

板凳

发表于 2005-7-28 12:13:53 |只看该作者

没人回阿
失望

使用道具举报

dennyaimar
UID??191857

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 0
寄托币: 357
注册时间: 2005-1-11
精华: 0
帖子: 0

地板

发表于 2005-7-28 23:10:45 |只看该作者

加我qq咱们互改吧～～
22627402
我9.5作文
北京
我的两篇：
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... type%26typeid%3D101

[ Last edited by dennyaimar on 2005-7-29 at 00:34 ]

使用道具举报

dennyaimar
UID??191857

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 0
寄托币: 357
注册时间: 2005-1-11
精华: 0
帖子: 0

5楼

发表于 2005-7-28 23:54:30 |只看该作者

38"In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."

Speaker contends that in the television times, reading books is less important than it was and people can learn by watching television as much as from books. I strongly disagree speaker’s contention. I concede that in some case watching television is an efficient way of learning. In most cases, television cannot entirely substitute books when we are learning.

Admittedly, watching television provides us a lot of information such as news and weather forecast. It（it指代不明，上句主语是watching movie，这个it明显想说movie，句法上不能这么表达） is easy to update, but books are not.（这种句式看着不舒服，用个比较句好一点感觉） In this case, watching television is more convenient than reading. We can watch television while we are having a dinner. In some area such as arts, television is superior to books. For instance, when we are enjoying a work made（不够生动，用created好点） by Picasso, television gives us an intuitionistic and large vivid vision or image. But books can hardly describe the art work properly and even some works cannot be described in word only enjoyed by sense. In addition, television can provide us instant and newest information or knowledge. But books can hardly do so. When the book is update and reprinted, new instant things is coming. Yet, your book hasn’t been republished. Thus, in these cases television does have some inherent advantages. Speaker’s claim has some merit in some areas.

In speaker’s claim, however, he concluded that reading books is less important in television age because what we learn by television is as many as what we learn from books. Isn’t this reason true and sufficient? Information or knowledge learned by television may not be as accurate and true as books showing us. Many TV series, for example, are based on famous writers’ works such as novels and scientific fictions. Even one work was used several times by different directors and actors，who also performed differently in their TV series. Therefore, what we see are that one work has several performances. We should trust which TV series that reflected authors’ idea and life philosophic theorem truly. They each might only express part of them. In addition, many directors add their ideas and many redundant（听过老罗讲这个词吧，看似多余实际必要的备份，是个褒义词，换成superfluous好点） contents in the TV series. We may misunderstand the book’s authors; even learn many wrong things from them. Yet, if you have read the works in books, you will learn right （改成precise好些）ideas and principles. What you learn would be more than learning from television. You also can conclude your own opinions which you think are helpful to you from the original works. It is too absolutely to say we can learn by watching the same as reading books.

The speaker also ignored the importance of reading books in his contention. I hold an opposite view from the speaker. I think whatever age we are in, reading books is a most important way to learn. Books are more systemic, while television programs are not.（比较双方错误，是书和电视节目比～） In library, for example, books are classified and in order. We can easily find what we want. However, television broadcasts a mess of information. It doesn’t care what viewers are and what grades of their education are. It provides same information to everyone no matter you really need them or not. To someone who well educated, they can pick what we want from the mess. But for children who cannot distinguish what they need to learn (from those they need not), it may result negative influence. Books, such as textbook, are also classified to satisfy diverse needs of different grade students. Textbooks are compiled by experts in education. They know what kind of student need to learn what kind of knowledge.(very Chinese English,改成they know what kind of books meet each types of students.好些吧) To a student whose majority is management, for example, thermodynamics which is majored by mechanical engineering students cannot appear in their textbooks. Thus, it can be seen books cannot be substituted by television.

In sum, television can be more efficient and convenient in art area and providing instant information. However, television cannot replace the status of books in learning, even in the age of television. Nowadays, reading books is still most important way to learn.

总结一下：
我觉得论点不错，论证也不错，论据用的也挺好
但是句式太少，短句用的太多，而且有很多Chinese English的痕迹，口语化的句子很多
选词还行，需要多加联系的主要是修辞手法，多用长句和从句。
p.s.：我就写了2篇issue～观点估计很多不对的地方

9.5考作文
大家互相拍吧
加我qq22627402
互改作文好吧～？
呵呵

使用道具举报