[i习作temp] Issue51 真的是疲倦了，打字慢，思路也慢，反复否定当时的想法，造成没有时间修改！ [复制链接]

翦瞳
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-7-28 11:20:53 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

进入低谷时期，写得不顺，总觉得不够逻辑，反复斟酌，后来都没有时间结尾，匆匆写完，都没有检查，有很多拼写错误，在word里贴完了。
提纲：（写过了，没怎么用上）
1 特色教育的优点（谈得不多吧？）
2 不实际性
3 难实施性
共用时间：45分0秒 523 words
从2003年6月28日9时56分到2003年6月28日10时45分
------题目------
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
------正文------

As society develops and progresses, there are lots of personal services. We begin to pay attention on personal education programs and individual developments, but can we need an education designed to meet individual needs and interests of each student? Is it practical to carry out this kind of education for all students? Who are in charge of the specifically educational task? I will answer as the following.

With an ideal view, it is attractive to design personal education for a given child. If each child can gain considerable attention from parents, teachers and governments, he would be more possible to develop his interest and avoid his shortcomings. We give him paper and pencil who likes to paint; we offer him a piano who love music; if who are tired to take examinations, we give him other choice to verify his ability. Under that circumstance, students could love education for its comfortable and personal program. To some extent, the current education system is stationary and lack of varies for meet different needs and need some improvement. In light of this situation, some advocate we should carry out a personal education according to individual needs and interest.

However, no matter how attractive the suggestion is, we should take into account that we have numerous students to teach, the personal programs need considerable teachers, devices and finances. In light of our limited source in a family, a school, a society, and a government, we could not manage to ensure that every student can get same attention and access to this program. In fact, there are still some families which can not afford fees of education in public schools that are relatively cheap. Personal education could help us to teach and benefit students to develop their potentials, but it is unpractical to execute due to limited money and teachers. Moreover, the complex execution of the personal education can add to the difficulty. There are so many children who have the rights to get personal education, but considering the various interests, how can the program work effectively and smoothly? We have no enough special classrooms and teaching devices for each student who has special request. Maybe it is more possible to gather a group of children who have similar or same interests, which is more practical to execute.

Furthermore, a responsible education should define the own tasks of the family, school, government, and society. Who should afford the extra fees of personal education compared with traditional education? Are they parents? In fact, many families can not even afford a traditional educational program. Are they the schools? In fact, schools have not enough teachers and money to design it. Government seems as a suitable candidate, but we should confess that government has more important and emergent affairs to deal with, such as eliminating poverty, preventing wars, impeding violence, other than a education designed to meet each child's needs and interests. The tasks confronted by government are too great to neglect. After all, the government has its other tasks besides education problems.

In conclusion, a personal education which can meet the individual needs and interests is attractive but is unpractical due to limited money such as the money, manpower.

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Jianchuan
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沙发

发表于 2005-7-28 12:07:14 |只看该作者

As society develops and progresses, there are lots of personal services. We begin to pay attention on personal education programs and individual developments, but can we need an education designed to meet individual needs and interests of each student? Is it practical to carry out this kind of education for all students? Who are in charge of the specifically educational task? I will answer as the following. (没给出中心论点, 个人认为是要命的错误.)

With an ideal view, it is attractive to design personal education for a given child. If each child can gain considerable attention from parents, teachers and governments, he would be more possible to develop his interest and avoid his shortcomings. We give him paper and pencil who likes to paint; we offer him a piano who love music; if who are tired to take examinations, we give him other choice to verify his ability. Under that circumstance, students could love education for its comfortable and personal program. To some extent, the current education system is stationary and lack of varies for meet (for meeting / to meet) different needs and need some improvement. In light of this situation (为何不直接用In this situation?), some advocate we should carry out a personal education (+system) according to (commeasure) individual needs and interest. (将he, his和him改为one, one's和one会更客观.)

However, no matter how attractive the suggestion is, we should take into account that we have numerous students to teach (educate, 个人意见), the personal programs need considerable teachers, devices and finances . In light of our limited source in a family, a school, a society, and a government (有几个该用复数), we could not manage to ensure that every student can get same attention and access to this program. In fact, there are still some families which can not afford fees of education in public schools that are relatively cheap (cheap有贬义, 指不入流之意, 建议改为economic). Personal education could help us to teach and benefit students to develop their potentials, but it is unpractical to execute due to limited money and teachers. (此句多余了, 读起来也别扭.) Moreover, the complex execution of the personal education (the complexity of the execution)can add to the difficulty. There are so many children who have the rights (want) to get personal education, but considering the various interests, how can the program work effectively and smoothly? We have no enough special classrooms and teaching devices for each student who has special request. Maybe it is more possible to gather a group of children who have similar or same interests, which is more practical to execute. (这段写拖沓了, 建议在之前加上一段, 说明还是有一定的课程是需要每一个孩子都学习的, 这样更加严谨些.)

Furthermore, a responsible education should define the own tasks of the family, school, government, and society. (何解?) Who should afford the extra fees of personal education compared with traditional education? Are they parents? (The parents?) In fact, many families can not even afford a traditional educational program. Are they the schools? (同上.) In fact, schools have not enough teachers and money to design (execute) it. Government seems as a suitable candidate, but we should confess (concede) that government has more important and emergent affairs to deal with, such as eliminating poverty, preventing wars, impeding violence, other than a education designed to meet each child's needs and interests(interest, 前后一致比较好, 而且作可数用不是很有说服力.). The tasks confronted by government are too great to neglect. After all, the government has its other tasks besides education problems. (建议用therefore引导从句完成全段, 说明政府同样不应承担此责任.)

In conclusion, a personal education which can meet the individual needs and interests is attractive but is unpractical due to limited money such as the money, manpower. (时间原因导致结尾仓促吗? 我就不替你写了, 自己来吧.)

来我这儿看看吧! 也是新手, 8/10的考试, 多指教!

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翦瞳
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板凳

发表于 2005-7-28 19:05:09 |只看该作者

改过了，去掉了原来B3，现在的B1是新增加的

根据楼上同学指点，加了一段说必修课的必要性，去掉了B3啰嗦的东西，本来B3想表达谁来负责个性化教育，但是说不好，就去掉了！
As society develops and progresses, there are lots of personal services. We begin to pay attention on personal education programs and individual developments, but do we need an education designed to meet individual needs and interests of each student? Is it practical to carry out this kind of education for all students? Who are in charge of the specifically educational task? 楼上同学指出：(没给出中心论点, 个人认为是要命的错误.)所以加了一句，以后一定注意！ In my opinion, nowadays we can not manage to give each child a specifically designed education. Due to limited resource we have, if education would spend so much on an overall specifically designed education, it could not operate effectively.

It sounds attractive and ideal to design special education for a given child. If each child can gain considerable attention from parents, teachers and governments, he would be more possible to develop his interests thoroughly. We give a child paper and pencil who likes to paint; we offer a child a piano who love music; if who is tired to take examinations, we give him other choices to verify his ability. Under that circumstance, students could love education for its comfortable and personal program. To some extent, the current education system is stationary and lack of varies to meet different needs and need some improvement badly. In this situation, some may advocate we should carry out a special education system to satisfy individual needs and interest immediately.

However, no matter how attractive the suggestion is, we should confess that we have other compulsive courses for students besides the personal programs, some of which are vital and essential for children’s growth, such as ethical standards, moral education, mathematics, history, language and so on. It is unnecessary to design unique education in these required courses. In addition, we have numerous students to educate, the personal programs need considerable teachers, devices and finances . In light of our limited source in a single family, schools, and governments, we could not manage to ensure that every student can get same attention and access to this program. In fact, there are still some families which can not afford fees of education in public schools that are relatively economic. Moreover, the complexity of the execution in the special education can add to its difficulty. There are so many children who want to get special education, but considering the various interests, how can the program work effectively and smoothly? We have no enough special classrooms and teaching devices for each student who has special request. Maybe it is more possible to gather a group of children who have similar or same interests, which is more practical to execute.

In conclusion, a special education which can meet the individual needs and interests is attractive but is unpractical. Some courses are meaningless to design due to its vitality and necessity for students; some are not accessible to each child due to its expensive cost; while the left can be designed to meet individual needs and interests. If we can find a balance between the special education and the formal one, and use the limited sources to provide as much personal programs as possible, we will get an effective education.