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1。Now I am sitting in this room and typing my writing with a computer: I am having my Graduate Record Examination. Did I have a choice for that? Yes, I chose to go to graduate school and I chose the date of the test, I chose to come to this place this morning and I just chose to deal with this issue other than the other one a minute ago. But given that my decision to go to graduate school, do I have a choice to take GRE or not? It seems not, for most graduate schools I want to go require GRE score. Do I have a choice to use my own laptop rather than this computer during the test? No, that is not allowed. Together with these cases are tons of other situations that people complain about their “having no choice”. I will argue, however, although it seems that in many circumstances we do not have a choice, we do always have one, for we can always choose our attitude toward those situations. (ok!标新立异的开头~however, it’s very complete, with a formulation of Q+A+P, and give the indication of the body paragraphs)
2。True, many external factors influence our choice: we are not masters of the world. For most of us, we cannot choose our color or gender, the times we live in, the habits we learned (好像habit是不能用learn 的,原来有个四级的词组,什么来着??get down to the habit ??)since we were very young, mother language we speak, rules and morals that we have to obey, and other social customs that we have to follow. In a word, just as Rousseau put, “human beings are everywhere in shackles.” In many situations though it seems that one does have choices, yet those choices are too strict that they are not possible (accessible) choices for one at all. Could one not answer the call of his or her country to fight against invaders when a war breaks out? Could one easily quit her job simply because she does not like it when she has a family to raise?(呵呵,你准备让老美觉得你性别歧视阿??) Those external situations,(——) wars, family pressure, have already eliminated other “choices” before one gives answer.
3。Although external forces limit our choice, it does not necessarily follow that in those situations we have no choice at all, for we can always make our internal choices, that is, choose our attitude towards external facts that we cannot change. Jean-Paul Sartre uttered this point in the strongest way: “Human beings are bound to be free.” Whatever external situations are, human beings always have free will to make their internal decisions, and in this way they can always be free in another area.
4。Consider an extreme example, the metaphor of Sisyphus given by another famous existentialist,(讨厌阿, 你把我喜欢的作家都用上了!!) Albert Camus. Sisyphus was punished by Zeus and had to push a monolith to the top of a mountain every day; whenever he succeeded, however, the monolith would fall to the foot and he had to repeat the same work day by day. Did this poor man, Sisyphus, have a choice? It seems not. No one would like to choose to do such a ridiculous and meaningless job and it was forced by Zeus that Sisyphus had to do so. Nevertheless, Camus argues that Sisyphus did have a choice: his attitude and mood toward this job. Sisyphus never despaired of his fate; on the contrary, he regarded his everyday job as a fight for life, from this continuous struggle he granted meaning to this otherwise meaningless job. Although his choice of mood cannot change the fact that he had to repeat the same work, its significance nevertheless changed and Camus argues, Sisyphus was a happy man in doing this job.
5。We are probably much luckier than Sisyphus, for most situations we meet are not worse than his. This extreme example can give us an inspiration: even if in some circumstance external forces undermine our choices--and we are not able to change those external factors--we may nevertheless have internal freedom and make our inner choices. When wars break one’s peaceful life and force one to go to battlefield, one can nevertheless decide to bear a positive mind toward the situation. When one has to keep a job in spite of preferring more free time, one can try to change mood and be less negative toward the job. In all those situations, it is hardly to say one has no choice at all.
6。In a word, although external factors may limit our choices, we may always grasp internal freedom in our hand. External obstacles should not be our excuse of complaints, for all things considered, the absence of choice is a very rare circumstance.
(说真的,看了gf们的评论我是抱着欣赏文章的态度来拍的。读到第三段之前我还是蛮感到高兴的,毕竟gf们里语言不错的并不多。但向下看时我感到逻辑的混乱,也许是你分段太多了。我总结一下:2段:外在的影响+例证;3 :让步+名言引出=可以选择attitude(下面的总论点);4极端例子证明了:外在影响不可改变,但态度可以改变; 5:我们的立场:虽然限制但可以选择inner choices+小例子;
好了, 你不觉得有点乱吗?我的感觉是如果按照提纲的 两方面,你似乎在第三段就引出了第二个观点。但下面的两段都是混合来证明这两方面观点的。这还不算很乱,还有时在论证过程中重新重复观点(5段),我还以为到了结尾了呢,可是后面又有小例子了,结尾还在跟后面。而这样的乱并不是所谓的正反论证的过程,而是车轱辘话来回说。(sorry!) 另外。尽管你在现在可以不限时,但考场上是要的。这就有题材选择的问题。像我们这样平时书读得比较多的,在平时写提纲时就重要面临取舍,把自己想到的相关的材料都列出来,但要选择五六百字能论述完的。刚看到帖子时就惊讶你字数的多,但我现在发现你显然没有进行取舍。西西佛斯神化是没必要把神话列出来的,而且,加缪在此书中着重讨论了荒谬的问题,人的生存。。
你显然可以把加缪的态度放在引出观点的段落,把神话的能容作为例子。 其他比较啰嗦的小例子也可取舍,尤其第五段感到特别没必要。不知他的作用除了是比较不极端的情况还有什么作用。看了一下,那段125字,也许你在考场上需要去掉这段)
Ok,班门弄斧。加油! |
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