Argument117 时间控制有进步了~ [复制链接]

mreal
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-7-29 22:56:31 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

再加油！
麻烦大家帮我看看啦，谢谢！！！

Argument117
406words
------题目------
The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.
'Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores.'
------正文------
In this argument, the arguer alleges that their office-supply departments can become the most profitable component of the Valu-Mart stores by the work-at-home trend, to prove which, the arguer cites a recent survey and asserts that to respond this change, we should increase the amount of the stock of official machine as well as the office supplies. However, several fallacies it suffers from can be examined by a careful scrutiny.
Firstly, the cited survey lacks of some details information to make itself warranted, such as the identity of the respondents, which determine the character of work direct to the amount of it. No convincing evidence shows that the work they have to bring home need home office machine and office supplies as well, therefore, we cannot safely draw the conclusion that more we should stock of our related production.
Secondly, even if we treat above assumption to be true, the argument still establishes the casual relationship of the more work for home and the increase of our stock of the listed production. Because we cannot guarantee the expected number of the office machine and supplies, let alone the final numbers of sales, it will be imprudent to enlarging our stock, which contributes to the cost of daily business of our store. Perhaps, their work leaving for home only ask for the mental thinking rather than any literal work or others ones which need the help of the office implements.
Another problem is that this manager fails to assure our profit in our office-supply department by any evidence provide above. It is highly possible that even the changes do take place, people would not like to buy those various office machines home for no frequent use they may offer. Furthermore, people may prefer to choose our other opponents' production other than us for some reason. Both discussed above would make our stock change into our failure on the market.
From what has been presented above, the arguer lends no concrete evidences to support his argument. To make it more valid, we must be informed about the exact require of our customers, even to the details of which kind, and what size they prefer. To strengthen the argument, it is our responsibility to examine the situation on the market to make sure our sales to be off any obstacle, and to achieve the goal to set our office-supply department to be the most profitable one in our store.

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dr_green
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沙发

发表于 2005-7-30 00:00:05 |只看该作者

占下位我明天改给你吧～

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dingzj
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板凳

发表于 2005-7-30 02:50:29 |只看该作者

Argument117
406words------正文------
In this argument, the arguer alleges that their office-supply departments can become the most profitable component of the Valu-Mart stores by the work-at-home trend, to prove which, the arguer cites a recent survey and asserts that to respond this change, we should increase the amount of the stock of official machine as well as the office supplies. 这么长的句子，好难读 However, several fallacies it suffers from can be examined by a careful scrutiny.
Firstly, the cited survey lacks of some details information to make itself warranted, such as the identity of the respondents, which determine the character of work direct to the amount of it. No convincing evidence shows that the work they have to bring home need home office machine and office supplies as well, therefore, we cannot safely draw the conclusion that we should stock more of our related production.

Secondly, even if we treat above assumption to be true, the argument still establishes the casual relationship of the more work for home and the increase of our stock of the listed production. Because we cannot guarantee the expected number of the office machine and supplies, let alone the final numbers of sales, it will be imprudent to enlarging our stock, which contributes to the cost of daily business of our store. Perhaps, their work leaving for home only ask for the mental thinking rather than any literal work or others ones which need the help of the office implements. 这句话放在上一段最后一句的therefore前简直是绝配

Another problem is that this manager fails to assure our profit in our office-supply department by any evidence provide above. It is highly possible that even the changes do take place, people would not like to buy those various office machines home for unfrequent use they may offer重复了吧. Furthermore, people may prefer to choose our other opponents' production other than us for some reasons. Both discussed above would make our stock change into our failure on the market.

From what has been presented above, the arguer leads no concrete evidences to support his argument. To make it more valid, we must be informed about the exact require of our customers, even to 删the details of which kind, and what size they prefer. To strengthen the argument, it is our responsibility to examine the situation on the market to make sure our sales to be off any obstacle, and to achieve the goal to set our office-supply department to be the most profitable one in our store.加入了点个人感情色彩，好不好？

错误反驳的比较充实，想的比较到位
++U！！

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