[i习作temp] issue7 video camera的，请狠批！！！ [复制链接]

kolu_ren
UID：158196

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 0
寄托币: 681
注册时间: 2004-3-13
精华: 0
帖子: 4

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-8-10 15:05:00 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue 7 The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.

提纲：
B1.列举video camera与written records相比的好处
B2.written在微观方面的优势（包括对比）
B3.written在记录抽象事物上的优势（包括对比）

With the development of science and technology, more and more digital products are used in our daily life for their convenience and time saving. How can people lived thousands of years ago image that pictures and voices of people can be recorded into a thin disc? It is believed that video camera contemporary is a more important media for documentation than written records. Does this assertion represent the matter of fact? I concede that it is true in some cases, but written record still has its own special function that cannot be replaced by video camera.

The advantage of video camera can be found in the examples as follows. The invention of video camera provides us an opportunity to record the occasions--memorial commencement, exciting moment of breaking the Olympic Games record, heartbreaking farewell party-- with continuous moving pictures and accompanying with a serials of sounds. People will find that they can still remember even the little details about the circumstances, as if they were surrounded by such occasions that day. While the content of written record all depends on the that of people recalled which was inevitable influnced by the inaccuracy and distortion of the original idea. So the facticity of written records is in question. Video camera is not only the reminder of the most valuable memory, but also a tool for an electronic engineer to explain an issue in a visible and directive way. A marked picture which indicates the root cause of failure, such as loosing components, short-road or open circuits on the printed circuit board is a more persuasive evidence to demonstrate his failure analysis than only providing a long paragraph of professioal description. Therefore,video camera, as a form of documentation, accuracy, conviction is its outstanding performance in comparsion to written records.

However, video camera is mainly focus on the differences on the macroscopic way and written form records in the microcosmic fields. In the scientific research, video taken by camera only provides the process of qualitative change or the obvious form and characteristic which is of little help to scientists and designers. On the contrary, written records preserve the each dimension, which researchers pay attention to. With the aid of written records, scientists will be able to track back to the history of change and quicker for them to reveal the truth behind the phenomenon. As a mechanical engineer, an assembly drawing marked with full dimensions will be great use to check whether the assembly material is out of specification, find out the root cause of assembly failure caused by mechanical parts and decide how much they should adjust to the mould. Hence, written records play a crucial role in microcosmic description.

Another advantage of written documentation is its utilization in recording abstract issues and theory. Undoubedly, video camera could bring us vivid images and the original circumstances and some ones may query the objectivity of written records. They may just overlook an important point that sometimes what we need is not merely the facts. Such thing as ideology of certain society is never possible transferred by the video camera. Only by analyzing written records and conjecturing the author’s intention can we reach the understanding of such an abstract issue. That’s why the written records will never be discarded no matter what accurate forms of documentation come to the forth. These kinds of written documentation will be valuable to research of anthropologists and provide opportunity for them to get closer to the historical background at the moment. In addition, without the limitation in the spatial extent, written records could preserve all the issues happening in a whole structure, while video camera could only record the issues in the different spatia extent.

In summary, taking into account of the benefits of written documentation in recording issues in microcosmic and abstract way, I cannot reach the conclusion that the video camera is a more important form of documentation than written records. My view is that written records, as a form of documentation contribute more in comtemparory life.

回应
0

使用道具举报

蚱蜢舟
UID：2116052

高级会员

Rank: 5 Rank: 5

声望: 0
寄托币: 2950
注册时间: 2005-7-12
精华: 0
帖子: 10

沙发

发表于 2005-8-10 15:36:29 |只看该作者

have a look

With the development of science and technology, more and more digital products are used in our daily life for their convenience and time saving（high-efficiency会不会好点呢？）. How can people lived thousands of years ago image that pictures and voices of people can be recorded into a thin disc? It is believed that video camera contemporary（I think u should use it in the form of adv. but not adj.?!） is a more important media for documentation than written records. Does this assertion represent the matter of fact? I concede that it is true in some cases, but written record still has its own special function that cannot be replaced by video camera.(good beginning, quite articulate)
The advantage of video camera can be found in the examples as follows.(做好开头直接提出例子吧，最好以一个表明意思的总起句阐明观点，再来举例。） The invention of video camera provides us an opportunity to record the occasions--memorial commencement, exciting moment of breaking the Olympic Games record, heartbreaking farewell party-- with continuous moving pictures and accompanying with a serials of sounds. People will find that they can still remember even the little details about the circumstances, as if they were surrounded by such occasions that day. While the content of written record all depends on the that of people recalled which was inevitable influnced by the inaccuracy and distortion of the original idea. So the facticity of written records is in question. Video camera is not only the reminder of the most valuable memory, but also a tool for an electronic engineer to explain an issue in a visible and directive way. A marked picture which indicates the root cause of failure, such as loosing components, short-road or open circuits on the printed circuit board is a more persuasive evidence to demonstrate his failure analysis than only providing a long paragraph of professioal description. Therefore,video camera, as a form of documentation, accuracy, conviction is its outstanding performance in comparsion to written records.

However, video camera is mainly focus on the differences on the macroscopic way and written form records in the microcosmic fields.（开头两方面都点到） In the scientific research, video taken by camera only provides the process of qualitative change or the obvious form and characteristic which is of little help to scientists and designers. On the contrary, written records preserve the each dimension, which researchers pay attention to. With the aid of written records, scientists will be able to track back to the history of change and quicker for them to reveal the truth behind the phenomenon. As a mechanical engineer, an assembly drawing marked with full dimensions will be great use to check whether the assembly material is out of specification, find out the root cause of assembly failure caused by mechanical parts and decide how much they should adjust to the mould. Hence, written records play a crucial role in microcosmic description.（但是为什么结尾只点到一个方面？）

Another advantage of written documentation is its utilization in recording abstract issues and theory. Undoubedly, video camera could bring us vivid images and the original circumstances and some ones may query the objectivity of written records. They may just overlook an important point that sometimes what we need is not merely the facts. Such thing as ideology of certain society is never possible transferred by the video camera. Only by analyzing written records and conjecturing the author’s intention can we reach the understanding of such an abstract issue. That’s why the written records will never be discarded no matter what accurate forms of documentation come to the forth. These kinds of written documentation will be valuable to research of anthropologists and provide opportunity for them to get closer to the historical background at the moment. In addition, without the limitation in the spatial extent, written records could preserve all the issues happening in a whole structure, while video camera could only record the issues in the different spatia extent.

In summary, taking into account of the benefits of written documentation in recording issues in microcosmic and abstract way, I cannot reach the conclusion that the video camera is a more important form of documentation than written records. My view is that written records, as a form of documentation contribute more in comtemparory life. （你只证明了video并不能代替written records,可是并没有证明written records contribute more啊，最后一句怎么突然像天上掉下来的，没写一个论点性的句子都要想想你能不能给出论证，或者有没有给出论证）

总体来说，可以看出来楼主基本功还是不错，词汇和句型变换也比较灵活，在逻辑上再做到更加严密，用词跟加准确，会更好的，祝你好运，一起加油！:)