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[未归类] Argument156 决战830拍砖组21日作业 [复制链接]

zhizhi
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-8-21 11:54:10 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

隔了两天没写阿狗了时间都耗在列issue提纲上了才发现时间掌握的好差后面的部分都没时间展开了括号里的是我自己补充的
大家使劲拍
:)

------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户共用时间：29分58秒 481 words
从2005年7月21日11时2分到2005年7月21日11时29分
------题目------
The following is taken from an advertisement placed in a weekly business magazine by the Dickens Academy.
'We distributed a survey to senior management at International Mega-Publishing, Inc. The result of the survey clearly indicates that many employees were well prepared in business knowledge and computer skills, but lacked interpersonal skills to interact gracefully with customers. International Mega-Publishing decided to improve customer satisfaction by sending their newly hired employees to our one-day seminars. Since taking advantage of our program, International Mega-Publishing has seen a sharp increase in sales, an indication that the number of their disgruntled customers has declined significantly. Your company should hire Dickens and let us turn every employee into an ambassador for your company.'

------正文------
In this advertisement, the author claims that it will be beneficial for a company to hire the DA (Dickens Academy), since the communication skills of the employees can be greatly improved through their training. It seems convincing at first glance; after all, the author does offer some relevant evidence. However, the argument suffers from a series of critical fallacies, which together make the author's conclusion not persuasive as it stands.

In the first place, the result of the survey is open to doubt. The author fails to provide any evidence concerning the statistical reliability of the survey. It is much possible that the senior management at IMI (International Mega-Publishing, Inc) are not representative of the overall employees. Moreover, the author does not offer any information about the standard in the survey about how to judge an employee's interpersonal skills to interact gracefully with customers. Besides, it is DA who distributed the survey. The result may be not believable at all. Lacking such information, the author cannot rely on such a vague survey to draw any firm conclusion.

In the second place, the author fails to establish the causal relationship between the one-day seminars of DA and the sharp increase in sales of IMI. On the one hand, the author fails to demonstrate that after the one-day seminars, the employees' communication skills have been sharply increased. On the other hand, there is no evidence that the increase in communication skills will necessarily lead to an increase in sales. There are much more key factors other than communication skills, which are extremely important to the sale of a company. It is entirely possible that the IMI has taken other strategies to improve their sales, such as to enhance the production advertising, to improve the new technology, or to employ some more experienced managers. Without ruling out such possibilities, the author fails to convince us that the seminar of DA is advantageous in increasing the sales of IMI.

In the third place, the assumption that the seminar of DA is sufficient to make the customers of IMI more satisfied. The fact that the number of disgruntled customers of IMI has declined can lend rather little credible support to the assumption that the customers now feel more satisfied. It is much possible that these customers who are not satisfied with IMI have abandoned their service and chose another company. If so, the author cannot draw a persuasive conclusion from such a fact. (What is more, even granting that the costumers feel more satisfied, there is no evidence that it should be attributable to the DA’s efforts.)

Before I come to my conclusion, it is necessary for me to point out some other possible fallacies of the argument. The author unfairly assumes that other companies also need such a seminars, thus commits a false analogy. It is possible that some of the companies do not need too many communication skills at all. (把上一句替换成Maybe some of the companies emphasized a lot on the communication skills of their employees, and then the stuff members they employed are already very skillful in communication. The author also overlooks the possibility that some of the companies do not need many communication skills at all.)

In sum, the author fails to address the weak areas mentioned above, which together undermine the conclusion. (In order to make the argument more convincing, the author should provide more information and take into consideration some other important factors for a company. )

鼎均 3.17

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wqoplijin
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沙发

发表于 2005-8-21 12:15:45 |只看该作者

写得很好啊

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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林森森
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板凳

发表于 2005-8-21 12:43:21 |只看该作者

Argument156 决战830拍砖组21日作业

------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户共用时间：29分58秒 481 words
------题目------
The following is taken from an advertisement placed in a weekly business magazine by the Dickens Academy.
'We distributed a survey to senior management at International Mega-Publishing, Inc. The result of the survey clearly indicates that many employees were well prepared in business knowledge and computer skills, but lacked interpersonal skills to interact gracefully with customers. International Mega-Publishing decided to improve customer satisfaction by sending their newly hired employees to our one-day seminars. Since taking advantage of our program, International Mega-Publishing has seen a sharp increase in sales, an indication that the number of their disgruntled customers has declined significantly. Your company should hire Dickens and let us turn every employee into an ambassador for your company.'

------正文------
In this advertisement, the author claims that it will be beneficial for a company to hire the DA (Dickens Academy), since the communication skills of the employees can be greatly improved through their training. It seems convincing at first glance; after all, the author does offer some relevant evidence. However, the argument suffers from a series of critical fallacies, which together make the author's conclusion not persuasive as it stands.(摸版很漂亮!)

In the first place, the result of the survey is open to doubt. The author fails to provide any evidence concerning the statistical reliability of the survey. It is much possible that the senior management at IMI (International Mega-Publishing, Inc) are not representative of the overall employees. Moreover, the author does not offer any information about the standard in the survey about how to judge an employee's interpersonal skills to interact gracefully with customers. Besides, it is DA who distributed the survey. The result may be not believable at all. Lacking such information, the author cannot rely on such a vague survey to draw any firm conclusion. 不错的论证... 向你学习这一段

In the second place, the author fails to establish the causal relationship between the one-day seminars of DA and the sharp increase in sales of IMI. On the one hand, the author fails to demonstrate that after the one-day seminars, the employees' communication skills have been sharply increased. On the other hand, there is no evidence that the increase in communication skills will necessarily lead to an increase in sales. There are much more key factors other than communication skills, sale of a company. It is entirely possible that the IMI has taken other strategies to improve their sales, such as to enhance the production advertising, to improve the new technology, or to employ some more experienced managers. Without ruling out such possibilities, the author fails to/cannot/ convince us that the seminar of DA is advantageous in increasing the sales of IMI. 因果错误你也掌握的很好了!

In the third place, the assumption(是主语?) that the seminar of DA is sufficient to make the customers of IMI more satisfied...(谓语宾语掉了?). The fact that the number of disgruntled customers of IMI has declined can lend rather little credible support to the assumption that the customers now feel more satisfied. It is much possible that these customers who are not satisfied with IMI have abandoned their service and chose another company. If so, the author cannot draw a persuasive conclusion from such a fact. (What is more, even granting that the costumers feel more satisfied, there is no evidence that it should be attributable to the DA’s efforts.)

Before I come to my conclusion, it is necessary for me to point out some other possible fallacies of the argument.(没时间就把这句省着点吧..呵呵) The author unfairly assumes that other companies also need such a seminars, thus commits a false analogy. It is possible that some of the companies do not need too many communication skills at all. (把上一句替换成Maybe some of the companies emphasized a lot on the communication skills of their employees, and then the stuff members they employed are already very skillful in communication. The author also overlooks the possibility that some of the companies do not need many communication skills at all.) (DA当然是针对需要它服务的企业来的, 你可以说granted that IMP benefited from...other companies do not need to follow suit for reasons that....然后列举,比如various economic situation...)

In sum, the author fails to address the weak areas mentioned above, which together undermine the conclusion. (In order to make the argument more convincing, the author should provide more information and take into consideration some other important factors for a company. )

OUTSTANDING!! 真的很不错了, 你之前有看题,列提纲吗, 你对自己的要求是30分钟写够500? 保持下去, ARG一定是满分,8.26,加油!

"决战830拍砖组" 成立啦! 欢迎8月30号机考的兄弟们加入进来每天1A 1I 同主题同高频题相互批改到8月30一起上战场!!! 发贴时请在标题注名 "决战830拍砖组™"

总部:https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=317783&page=1#pid1729407

谢谢拍我:
ISSUE 41
ISSUE 4
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=317364&extra=page%3D2%26filter%3Dtype%26typeid%3D101

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nanzi
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地板

发表于 2005-8-21 19:52:47 |只看该作者

好！！

In this advertisement, the author claims that it will be beneficial for a company to hire the DA (Dickens Academy), since the communication skills of the employees can be greatly improved through their training. It seems convincing at first glance; after all, the author does offer some relevant evidence. However, the argument suffers from a series of critical fallacies, which together make the author's conclusion not persuasive as it stands.

In the first place, the result of the survey is open to doubt. The author fails to provide any evidence concerning the statistical reliability of the survey. It is much possible that the senior management at IMI (International Mega-Publishing, Inc) are not representative of the overall employees. Moreover, the author does not offer any information about the standard in the survey about how to judge an employee's interpersonal skills to interact gracefully with customers. Besides, it is DA who distributed the survey. The result may be not believable at all. Lacking such information, the author cannot rely on such a vague survey to draw any firm conclusion.

In the second place, the author fails to establish the causal relationship between the one-day seminars of DA and the sharp increase in sales of IMI. On the one hand, the author fails to demonstrate that after the one-day seminars, the employees' communication skills have been sharply increased.(这句话好像有点问题，题目中确实提到了在培训之后IMI的利润上升了，只是对这个事实的有效论证) On the other hand, there is no evidence that the increase in communication skills will necessarily lead to an increase in sales. There are much more key factors other than communication skills, which are extremely important to the sale of a company. It is entirely possible that the IMI has taken other strategies to improve their sales, such as to enhance the production advertising, to improve the new technology, or to employ some more experienced managers. Without ruling out such possibilities, the author fails to convince us that the seminar of DA is advantageous in increasing the sales of IMI.

In the third place, the assumption that the seminar of DA is sufficient to make the customers of IMI more satisfied. The fact that the number of disgruntled customers of IMI has declined can lend rather little credible support to the assumption that the customers now feel more satisfied. It is much possible that these customers who are not satisfied with IMI have abandoned their service and chose another company. If so, the author cannot draw a persuasive conclusion from such a fact. (What is more, even granting that the costumers feel more satisfied, there is no evidence that it should be attributable to the DA’s efforts.)

Before I come to my conclusion, it is necessary for me to point out some other possible fallacies of the argument. The author unfairly assumes that other companies also need such a seminar, thus commits a false analogy. It is possible that some of the companies do not need too many communication skills at all. (把上一句替换成Maybe some of the companies emphasized a lot on the communication skills of their employees, and then the stuff members they employed are already very skillful in communication. The author also overlooks the possibility that some of the companies do not need many communication skills at all.)
In sum, the author fails to address the weak areas mentioned above, which together undermine the conclusion. (In order to make the argument more convincing, the author should provide more information and take into consideration some other important factors for a company. )
zhizhi的语言实在让我钦佩！赞！
文章条理清楚，而且更可贵的是内容充实丰富，又不显得啰唆，好文！！
谢谢！再接再厉，多多加油，一定成功！:victory:

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5楼

发表于 2005-8-21 22:05:40 |只看该作者

只有佩服的份！多向你学习

我是一片云
漂泊不定
我是一阵风
奔跑不止
美丽的女神在远方
我要去追寻

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llllll3002
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6楼

发表于 2005-8-21 22:16:20 |只看该作者

不错！

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felixyang
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7楼

发表于 2005-8-22 00:30:09 |只看该作者

我也来学习学习，呵呵，一会贴上来！

我不是什么牛人，但我会脚踏实地，勤奋努力！

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felixyang
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8楼

发表于 2005-8-22 01:12:26 |只看该作者

In this advertisement, the author claims that it will be beneficial for a company to hire the DA (Dickens Academy), since the communication skills of the employees can be greatly improved through their training. It seems convincing at first glance; after all, the author does offer some relevant evidence. However, the argument suffers from a series of critical fallacies, which together make the author's conclusion not persuasive as it stands. (这个开头的模版不错啊，不要列举evidence了)
In the first place, the result of the survey is open to doubt. The author fails to provide any evidence concerning the statistical reliability of the survey. It is much possible that the senior management at IMI (International Mega-Publishing, Inc) are not representative of the overall employees. Moreover, the author does not offer any information about the standard in the survey about how to judge an employee's interpersonal skills to interact gracefully with customers. Besides, it is DA who distributed（conducted） the survey. The result may be not believable at all. Lacking such information, the author cannot rely on such a vague survey to draw any firm conclusion.

In the second place, the author fails to establish the causal relationship between the one-day seminars of DA and the sharp increase in sales of IMI. On the one hand, the author fails to demonstrate that after the one-day seminars, the employees' communication skills have been sharply increased. On the other hand,(这种on the other hand, 表示强对比啊，慎用) there is no evidence that the increase in communication skills will necessarily lead to an increase in sales. There are much more key factors other than communication skills, which are extremely important to the sale of a company. It is entirely possible that the IMI has taken other strategies to improve their sales, such as to enhance the production advertising, to improve the new technology, or to employ some more experienced managers. Without ruling out such possibilities, the author fails to convince us that the seminar of DA is advantageous in increasing the sales of IMI.

In the third place, the assumption（the author assumes） that the seminar of DA is sufficient to make the customers of IMI more satisfied. The fact that the number of disgruntled customers of IMI has declined can lend rather little credible support to the assumption that the customers now feel more satisfied. It is much possible that these customers who are not satisfied with IMI have abandoned their service and chose another company. If so, the author cannot draw a persuasive conclusion from such a fact. (What is more, even granting that the costumers feel more satisfied, there is no evidence that it should be attributable to the DA’s efforts.)

Before I come to my conclusion, it is necessary for me to point out some other possible fallacies of the argument. The author unfairly assumes that other companies also need such a seminar, thus commits a false analogy. It is possible that some of the companies do not need too many communication skills at all. (把上一句替换成Maybe some of the companies emphasized a lot on the communication skills of their employees, and then the stuff members they employed are already very skillful in communication. The author also overlooks the possibility that some of the companies do not need many communication skills at all.)

In sum, the author fails to address the weak areas mentioned above, which together undermine the conclusion. (In order to make the argument more convincing, the author should provide more information and take into consideration some other important factors for a company. )(结尾简洁明了，值得学习)

呵呵，论证有力，语言蛮连贯的，值得学习！

我不是什么牛人，但我会脚踏实地，勤奋努力！

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