[经典批改讨论] Issue70 还有4天考，求个建议。 [复制链接]

xinxiaogang
UID: 188432

新手上路

Rank: 1

声望: 0
寄托币: 17
注册时间: 2004-12-5
精华: 0
帖子: 0

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-8-10 23:15:39 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 716 words
------题目------
In any profession—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years. The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership.
------正文------
The speaker asserts that the surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership and the leader who is in power should step down after five years. I agree with this assertion insofar as new leadership is needed in order to maintain strength and energy in some areas, such as politics and business. When it comes to education and science, however, I think both new energy and experiences are crucial to that enterprise.

To begin with, I want to discuss the reason for the speaker to make such an assertion. I think two main reasons can contribute to this assertion. First, a leader might easily be left behind by the ever-increasing advanced technology and advanced management methods after several years in power. Especially for those leaders who are elected to position in their old age. Second, when a leader has hold power for a long period of time, it is more possible about the risk that he would use his power to do some individual things and make benefits for himself. To prevent these two defects, the speaker asserts that through new leadership we can surest path to success.

In some areas, such as politics and business, in my view, new leadership after several years of one leader is needed and vital to a country and a business. Because these enterprises need new idea to be survive and thrive. And it is more important to prevent about the second risk that leader would use his power in some individual desire. In politics, for example, some countries are under the control of a king who would in power until his death. History informs us that the king would become luxurious and consider nothing about his country after several years in power, especially in his old time. Nowadays, most countries have abandoned the monarch system and adopted the system of election, in which leader should be reelected after 4 or 5 years. Also in business, the Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of a company should be reelected after his execution for several years in order to maintain the company's energy. Admittedly, to reelect does not mean the younger will sure substitute the elder but to provide a fair competition environment, in which the best leader can be elected to make benefit to that enterprise. To reelect can also inspire the motivation of the old leader and prevent the risk of egotism.

On the other hand, in education and science, in which experiences are more crucial, there is no need to change leader after years. In such areas, more experiences and knowledge are requisite in order to make directions and strategies more effectively and efficiently. For example, in every country there is a scientific institution, and almost every academician of it is over 50 years old, not to mention the leader of the institution. In science, admittedly, originality and challenging to old knowledge are the stepping stone to the progress of science. However, due to today's complex and deep knowledge system, if one can not hold the whole system of scientific knowledge and can grasp the clear direction correctly, leadership would not appropriate to him. This is just like a skyscraper which stands for the amount of knowledge today, and which should have strong foundation to endure the rain and wind in future. Also in education, we always say we can get more from the elder. Only elder can give us more experience of life and perspective of questions which is more crucial in education for the purpose of make out true individual. Yet, these do not mean a leader can keep in power for ever, in some cases, especially when the leader lose his energy and can not keep in pace with the development, we should reelect other leader to substitute him.

In sum, we can not say a leader should leave his position after 5 years in power in general. The answer to this question depends on different areas and cases. In the areas that need more newly ideas and prevention of the risk of abuse of power, such as politics and business, I agree that leadership should be reelected after several years. While in other areas that experience is more crucial to the enterprise, we should decide whether to reelect or continue the leadership with different cases.

请大家估计一下，这篇能得多少分。

[ Last edited by xinxiaogang on 2005-8-11 at 09:39 ]

[ 本帖最后由 iq28 于 2007-6-23 12:24 编辑 ]

0 0

xinxiaogang
UID: 188432

新手上路

Rank: 1

声望: 0
寄托币: 17
注册时间: 2004-12-5
精华: 0
帖子: 0

沙发

发表于 2005-8-11 08:41:01 |只看该作者

为什么没有人理我？自己顶下先。

投票：25Fall荷兰大败读书orGAP

xinxiaogang
UID: 188432

新手上路

Rank: 1

声望: 0
寄托币: 17
注册时间: 2004-12-5
精华: 0
帖子: 0

板凳

发表于 2005-8-11 09:37:50 |只看该作者

大家给个建议吧。

xinxiaogang
UID: 188432

新手上路

Rank: 1

声望: 0
寄托币: 17
注册时间: 2004-12-5
精华: 0
帖子: 0

地板

发表于 2005-8-11 16:24:50 |只看该作者

为什么没人给建议？是写得太烂吗？

yuemingjushi
UID: 2108406

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 0
寄托币: 727
注册时间: 2005-6-12
精华: 0
帖子: 0

5楼

发表于 2005-8-11 16:27:34 |只看该作者

------正文------
The speaker asserts that the surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership and the leader who is in power should step down after five years. I agree with this assertion insofar as new leadership is needed in order to maintain strength and energy in some areas, such as politics and business. When it comes to education and science, however, I think both new energy and experiences are crucial to that enterprise.

To begin with, I want to discuss the reason for the speaker to make such an assertion. I think two main reasons can contribute to this assertion. First, a leader might easily be left behind by the ever-increasing advanced technology and advanced management methods after several years in power. Especially for those leaders who are elected to position in their old age. Second, when a leader has hold power for a long period of time, it is more possible about the risk that he would use his power to do some individual things and make benefits for himself. To prevent these two defects, the speaker asserts that through new leadership we can surest path to success.

In some areas, such as politics and business, in my view, new leadership after several years of one leader is needed and vital to a country and a business. Because these enterprises need new ideas to be（删） survive and thrive. And it is more important to prevent about（prevent from） the second risk that leader would use his(or her 老外比较注重这个) power in（for） some individual desires. In politics, for example, some countries are under the control of a king who would in power until his death. History informs us that the king would become luxurious and consider nothing about his country after several years in power, especially in his old time. Nowadays, most countries have abandoned the monarch system and adopted the system of election, in which leader should be reelected after 4 or 5 years. Also in business, the Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of a company should be reelected after his execution for several years in order to maintain the company's energy. Admittedly, to reelect does not mean the younger will surely substitute the elder but to provide a fair competition environment, in which the best leader can be elected to make benefit to（罗嗦，to benefit就够了） that enterprise. To reelect can also inspire the motivation of the old leader and prevent the risk of egotism.

On the other hand, in education and science, in which experiences are more crucial, there is no need to change leader after years. In such areas, more experiences and knowledge are requisite in order to make directions and strategies more effectively and efficiently. For example, in every country there is a scientific institution, and almost every academician of it is over 50 years old（最好不要这样说，美国科学院有好多年轻有为的院士）, not to mention the leader of the institution. In science, admittedly, originality and challenging to old knowledge are the stepping stone to the progress of science. However, due to today's complex and deep knowledge system, if one can not hold the whole system of scientific knowledge and can grasp the clear direction correctly, leadership would not （be） appropriate to him. This is just like a skyscraper which stands for the amount of knowledge today, and which should have strong foundation to endure the rain and wind in future. Also in education, we always say we can get more from the elder（用 senior美国人更喜欢，他们不爱听自己很老，说他们是高级公民来的舒服些）. Only[最好不要用这类词写issue，不然人家给你当argument批，：）] elder can give us more experiences of life and perspective of questions which is more crucial in education for the purpose of make（ing） out true individual. Yet, these do not mean a leader can keep in power for ever, in some cases, especially when the leader loses his energy and can not keep in pace with the development, we should reelect （an）other leader to substitute him.

In sum, we can not say a leader should leave his position after 5 years in power in general. The answer to this question depends on different areas and cases. In the areas that need more newly ideas and prevention of the risk of abuse of power, such as politics and business, I agree that leadership should be reelected after several years. While in other areas that experience is more crucial to the enterprise, we should decide whether to reelect or continue the leadership with different cases。

构思不错，结构也好。开头回应有力，结尾清楚明白。
细节地方再注意一下就好了。多看别人的例文。

有时间拍我：
Issue190
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1