[a习作temp] Argument43 NTU站队习作 [复制链接]

andycui
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楼主

发表于 2005-9-22 17:18:59 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Argument43 第1篇让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户共用时间：30分1秒 474 words
从2005年8月22日16时22分到2005年8月22日16时30分
------题目------
The following appeared as part of a business plan developed by the manager of the Rialto Theater.
'Despite its downtown location, the Rialto Movie Theater, a local institution for five decades, must make big changes or close its doors forever. It should follow the example of the new Apex Theater in the mall outside of town. When the Apex opened last year, it featured a video arcade, plush carpeting and seats, and a state-of-the-art sound system. Furthermore, in a recent survey, over 85 percent of respondents reported that the high price of newly released movies prevents them from going to the movies more than five times per year. Thus, if the Rialto intends to hold on to its share of a decreasing pool of moviegoers, it must offer the same features as Apex.'
------正文------
The arguer claims that Riato movie theater must make changes otherwise it will close the door. In order to support his claim, he points out that another movie theater Apex, locating outside the down, has superior facilities and a recent survey shows the trend of shrinking of pool of moviegoers. The argument seems logical and convincing at first glance. However, a careful examination reveals that it suffers from several fallacies which render it unpersuasive.

It is hasty to get the conclusion that the Riato theater must provide the same features as Apex without any supporting evidence. Although Apex theater possesses superior facilities, there is no evidence to show that it can attract more audiences. It is true that people would prefer more comfortable environment to enjoy movies, but which in turn requires audiences to pay at a higher price. It is possible that a great number of people, especially those youngsters without sufficient incomes, would incline to choose theaters with low prices in order to save money or could watch more movies. In that case, in contrast, Apex could not attract as many moviegoers as other theaters which could result in fewer profits. More importantly, the arguer needs to disclose the current situation of Riato because it is likely that the long history of the theater maintain a fixed group of audiences or it resides near the residences which gives a geographical advantage to keep audiences. So without upgrading the facillities, the Riato theater can still keep profitable. In one sentence, the arguer needs to find out the dominant factor to attract audience as well as evidence to upgrade facilities.

Moreover, the survey mentioned in the argument could not definitely lead to the conclusion that the pool of moviegoers will shrink. First of all, without disclosing the demographics of the respondents, it is hard to convince others the trend of declination of audiences. It is highly possible that all respondents were students so they could not afford the high price of some movies which neglect people who have jobs. Maybe the high price to them is not the blockade to go to the theater. Or respondents were from countryside where their economic is not as affluent as cities. In addition, the number of respondents is also in doubts. Whether the group of respondents could represent the whole citizens' inclination is another question. So in order to make it more convincing, the details of respondents must be provided.

To sum up, in order to make the argument with no fallacies, the arguer must provide reasons and evidence to show that it is necessary to upgrade facilities to attract people to come to theater and to maintain profits. On the other hands, the details of the respondents and the number of samples must be provided in order to prove that the pool of watchgoers will decline.

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(Revised)
The arguer claims that Riato Movie Theater must make changes otherwise it will close the door. In order to support his claim, he points out that another movie theater Apex, locating outside the down, has superior facilities and a recent survey shows the trend of shrinking of pool of moviegoers. The argument seems logical and convincing at first glance. However, a careful examination reveals that it suffers from several fallacies which render it unpersuasive.

It is hasty to get the conclusion that the Riato Theater must provide same features as Apex without any supporting reasoning. Although Apex Theater possesses superior facilities, there is no evidence to show that it can attract more audiences. It is true that people would prefer more comfortable environment while enjoying movies, but which in turn requires audiences to pay at a higher price. It is possible that a great number of people, especially those youngsters without sufficient incomes, would incline to choose theaters with low prices in order to save money or could watch more movies. In that case, in contrast, Apex could not attract as many moviegoers as other theaters which could result in fewer profits. More importantly, the arguer needs to disclose the current situation of Riato because it is likely that the long history of the theater maintain a fixed group of audiences or it resides near the residences which gives a geographical advantage to keep audiences. So without upgrading the facilities, the Riato Theater can still keep profitable. Even if the current competition would introduce the lost of audiences, however, to provide such a luxury facilities, the cost will increase tremendously which may lead to a loss also. To attract audiences, the Theater could send off posters or provide some lucky draws to increase sales which may be more effective. In one sentence, the arguer needs to find out the dominant factor to attract audience as well as supporting evidence to upgrade facilities.

Moreover, the survey mentioned in the argument could not definitely lead to the conclusion that the pool of moviegoers will shrink. First of all, without disclosing the demography of the respondents, it is hard to convince others the trend of declination of audiences. It is highly possible that all respondents were students so they could not afford the high price of some movies which neglect people who have jobs. Maybe the high price to them is not the blockade to go to the theater. Or respondents were from countryside where their economic is not as affluent as cities. In addition, the number of respondents is also in doubts. Whether the group of respondents could represent the whole citizens' inclination is a question. So in order to make it more convincing, the details of respondents must be provided.

To sum up, in order to make the argument with no fallacies, the arguer must provide reasons and evidence to show that it is necessary to upgrade facilities to attract people to come to theater and to maintain profits. On the other hands, the details of the respondents and the number of samples must be provided in order to prove that the pool of moviegoers will decline.
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bayern_science
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沙发

发表于 2005-9-23 22:01:15 |只看该作者

The arguer claims that Riato Movie Theater must make changes otherwise it will close the door. In order to support his claim, he points out that another movie theater Apex, locating outside the down, has superior facilities and a recent survey shows the trend of shrinking of pool of moviegoers. The argument seems logical and convincing at first glance. However, a careful examination reveals that it suffers from several fallacies which render it unpersuasive.

It is hasty to get the conclusion that the Riato Theater must provide same features as Apex without any supporting reasoning. Although Apex Theater possesses superior facilities, there is no evidence to show that it can attract more audiences. It is true that people would prefer more comfortable environment while enjoying movies, but which in turn requires audiences to pay at a higher price. It is possible that a great number of people, especially those youngsters without sufficient incomes, would incline(be inclined) to choose theaters with low prices in order to save money or could watch more movies. In that case, in contrast, Apex could not attract as many moviegoers as other theaters which could result (resulting) in fewer profits. More importantly, the arguer needs to disclose the current situation of Riato because it is likely that the long history of the theater maintain a fixed(loyal) group of audiences or it resides near the places of residence which gives a geographical advantage to keep audiences(-->Railto). So without upgrading the facilities, the Riato Theater can still keep profitable(may still be able to hold its patrons). Even if the current competition would introduce the lost of audiences, however, to provide such a luxury facilities, the cost will increase tremendously which may lead to a loss also. To attract audiences, the Theater could send off posters or provide some lucky draws to increase sales which may be more effective. In one sentence, the arguer needs to find out the dominant factor to attract audience as well as supporting evidence to upgrade facilities. (how about divide this paragraph into two: one is how appealing the features will be to the moviegoers; the other is how profitable the improvement can result in.)

Moreover, the survey mentioned in the argument could not definitely lead to the conclusion that the pool of moviegoers will shrink. First of all, without disclosing the demography of the respondents, it is hard to convince others the overall trend of declination of audiences. It is highly possible that all respondents were students so they could not afford the high price of some movies which neglect people who have jobs. Maybe the high price to them is not the blockade to go to the theater. Or respondents were from countryside where their economic is not as affluent as cities. In addition, the number of respondents is also in doubts. Whether the group of respondents could represent the whole citizens' inclination is a question. So in order to make it more convincing, the details of respondents must be provided.

To sum up, in order to make the argument with no fallacies, the arguer must provide reasons and evidence to show that it is necessary to upgrade facilities to attract people to come to theater and to maintain profits. On the other hands, the details of the respondents and the number of samples must be provided in order to prove that the pool of moviegoers will decline.

Well, good response!
There is not much I can suggest for improvement. But I recommend one TS for one paragraph and/or one paragraph for Apex and another for Railto

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