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[a习作temp] 试了试Scoreitnow [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-3-24 15:41:56 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Six months ago the region of Forestville increased the speed limit for vehicles traveling on the region's highways by ten miles per hour. Since that change took effect, the number of automobile accidents in that region has increased by 15 percent. But the speed limit in Elmsford, a region neighboring Forestville, remained unchanged, and automobile accidents declined slightly during the same six-month period. Therefore, if the citizens of Forestville want to reduce the number of automobile accidents on the region's highways, they should campaign to reduce Forestville's speed limit to what it was before the increase.

In this argument, the arguer recommends that citizens of Forestville (F) should campaign to reduce F’s speed limit to the former level. This recommendation seems cogent on the surface; however, a careful examination reveals several critical fallacies.

Firstly, the arguer unreasonably assumes that there is a causal relationship between the increase of speed limit and more automobile accidents, based on that fact that the latter occurred after the former. However, the sequence of these events, in itself, does not suffice to prove that the former caused the latter one. The increase of automobile accidents might result from some other events, such as fewer penalties for speeding, a significant boost of vehicles in F. The arguer must consider and eliminate these possible reasons. Otherwise, I cannot accept the arguer’s assertion that the increase of speed limit led to the more automobile accidents.

Secondly, the arguer commits a false analogy between F and Elmsford (E). Perhaps there are much fewer vehicles in E than F. Or perhaps people in E better abide by traffic rules. Both these and other alternatives may account for the decrease of automobile accidents in E. In short, without describing the transportation situations in F and E, this argument by analogy is untenable.

Finally, even if the transportation situations in F and E are comparable, the arguer concludes too hastily that citizens in F should campaign to reduce the speed limit to the former level. First, there are many other options to reduce automobile accidents, such as more severe penalty for speeding, introducing first class public traffic system, etc. Second, even though decrease the speed limit is the only option, there are better procedures to accomplish the task, such as negotiating with government, rather than campaign. Therefore, only with thorough analysis and consideration could the arguer draw any firm conclusion.

In sum, the argument is well reasoned. Only with more detailed information about the reason that led to the increase of automobile accidents and the transportation situations in F and E, could we have a clear picture of the best option.


[ 本帖最后由 achillesheel 于 2007-3-24 15:45 编辑 ]
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沙发
发表于 2007-3-24 15:45:00 |只看该作者
大家看看能得几分?下面是评语
identies and analyzes important features of the arguemtn
develops and organizes ideas satisfactorily but may not connect them transitions
supports the main points of the critique
demonstrates sufficient control of language to express ideas with reasonable clarity
generally demonstrates control of the conventions of standard written English buy may have some errors.

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板凳
发表于 2007-3-24 15:48:01 |只看该作者
已经评完分了?
4分?

呵呵,随便猜下,LZ别介意~


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地板
发表于 2007-3-24 15:50:17 |只看该作者
en~~~
想问问怎么改进?

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5
发表于 2007-3-24 15:51:24 |只看该作者
没批15%?

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6
发表于 2007-3-24 15:53:06 |只看该作者
没批6 months?

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发表于 2007-3-24 16:05:22 |只看该作者
它评语说你还是在每个逻辑错误的连接上有问题啊

我说说自己的看法哈

如果我写这个文章的话,我的逻辑顺序是
1。F的交通事故率上升不是限速导致的。
驳斥理由:它因法,而且文章有个错误是说它只限速在HIGHWAY了,而没说整个城市限速没。可能限速前后HIGHWAY的事故率也没变,甚至下降。
2。即使是限速导致的,那么六个月也不足以说明什么。
3。即使F地区事故率上升的罪魁祸首就是限速,我们也不能简单地照搬E地区的经验。


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发表于 2007-3-24 16:08:58 |只看该作者
是,过度不好,只用了firstly, seondly,finally。多用让步?段内多家点联结词?

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发表于 2007-3-24 16:11:52 |只看该作者
过渡呢,就是要你每个逻辑错误之间有逻辑


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10
发表于 2007-3-24 16:16:46 |只看该作者
thx

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发表于 2007-3-24 17:01:24 |只看该作者
到底给了几分哪?:eek:

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发表于 2007-3-24 21:58:01 |只看该作者
4

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13
发表于 2007-3-24 22:27:51 |只看该作者
score it now 很不准
我上次一篇不知道在写什么,它居然给了5分

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14
发表于 2007-3-24 22:40:07 |只看该作者
不过经过这一回,长了不少心眼。ETS判argu就看那么几点

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发表于 2007-3-24 22:50:03 |只看该作者
我唯一看出来的是
字数不重要的很
我不管
 我就要去
    谁也拦不住我

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