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[i习作temp] Issue185 看看这样切题吗？ [复制链接]

superstar008
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2007-4-6 15:41:46 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

刚才看到一G友发的185被版主说是不切题，发现自己的似乎也有一点，大家看看，后一句They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.这句一定要贯穿全文吗？

TOPIC: ISSUE185 - "Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other
areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that
no speaker or reformer ever could."
WORDS: 658       TIME: 0:33:37       DATE: 2007-3-28

The speaker asserts that scandals can be useful in various fields,
as they can make us notice problems that no speaker or reformer can. I
agree with the statement, to the extent that scandals can help us to
notice the else-unnoticed problems. But the statement only see the
benefits of scandals, the neglect effects of scandals should be
noticed, too.

To begin with, I must admit that scandals do can reveal problems,
thus be useful. Scandals are wrong doings of celebrated persons, or
groups. Being revealed to the public, scandals can serve the function
of bringing the otherwise concealed problems under the sunlight. As
a result, the public can realize the problems and take measures to mend
them, the whole society can benefit at last. For instance, the famous
sex scandal of Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, help people to notice
that their president abused power. Without the scandal, the American
public may not realize that some of their taxes are used to satisfy the
president's personal interest. The report of the scandal surely focused
our attention to the work of government, thus improved the effenicy
of governmental officals. As a result, we can say that it's useful. Another
example in scientific field is the scandal of a Korean scientist, who
asserted that he had successfully cloned animals.
But close scrutiny of his research reveal that his "clone animals" are
not cloned at all. This scandal help us to notice the possibility of
scientists to cheat the public for fame and interest, thus prevented the
possible waste of time and money. The two examples showed that
scandals are useful, as they can help to reveal the concealed problems
to public, then help to mend them.

However, scandals sometimes are not so useful, as the attention on
problems sometimes  bring more neglect consequences than positive ones.
As scandals help to reveal problems, it also can bring unstablity to
the society. When people get to know that people or group that they
tursted turned out to be bad, their disappointment may cause the whole
society to become unstable. The harmful results sometime can be serious
enough to counteract the benefits of a scancal.  A good example is the
watergate scandal. Though the reveal of Nixon's abuse of national power
did help to save tax payers' money, the scandal also caused a serious
declined confident to government. After the scandal, the support rate
of American government diminished to the historical nadir. Crime rate
and other social problems also increased as a result. To consider the
whole affair, the neglect effects of the scandal seemed to overcome the
positive ones. So watergate scandal seemed to be not so useful.

Furthermore, scandals sometimes are abused for drawing attention,
in such cases, scandals are not useful at all. The fact is that
,nowadays people are more interested in scandals. To satisfy this
desire, mass media keep searching for scandals. On the other hand,
those who can catch the eyeballs can succeed easily. As a result, some
celebrated persons or groups make use of this preference to scandal,
and showed the public that they are involved in a scandal in order to
draw their attention. This phenomenon is most serious in the
entertainment field. For instance, the superstar in Asian area, Andy
Liu, was said to be murdered because of sex scandals more than once.
Everytime this scandal drew public's attention, then Liu himself would
come out to say that he was not involved in such scandals at all. In
fact, those scandals are only tricks of Liu himself to keep the
eyeballs on him. In such cases, scandals do draw our attention, but
they are unproductive, and can bring us nothing but wasting time and
money, they can not be useful at all.

In sum, scandals do play important parts in helping us to notice
social problems. But it may not be so useful sometimes, as its harmful
effects beyond the useful effects, and it can also be abused for
personal interests, too.

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pippo1983
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沙发

发表于 2007-4-6 18:26:23 |只看该作者

我认为第一段应该把reformer点出来，那个例子，之前有人提议过改革么？，引发改革的例子才是切题的，后两段应该可以

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expire7
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板凳

发表于 2007-4-6 21:14:38 |只看该作者

http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/thread-642777-1-3.html

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dudu2077
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地板

发表于 2007-4-6 21:58:58 |只看该作者

克林顿的例子不太好吧，这个所谓丑闻是他个人的道德问题还是公德问题还有待讨论，美国考官会不会不好接受？

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superstar008
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5楼

发表于 2007-4-6 22:05:43 |只看该作者

我觉得行吧。那服务生是用纳税人的钱雇的吧？

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Miranda_qiqi
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6楼

发表于 2007-4-7 22:21:25 |只看该作者

对于克林顿的例子，我觉得最好还是用在个人丑闻上比较好，
克林顿的形象还是很好的在美国，而且应该考虑美国大众是怎么看待的，
从这个角度说~~比较奇特，还是不要challenge考官了~~

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Miranda_qiqi
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7楼

发表于 2007-4-7 22:47:11 |只看该作者

看了你的文章，觉得开头不错，观点鲜明，总括文章~~

来说说我觉得的问题：

However, scandals sometimes are not so useful, as the attention on
problems sometimes bring more neglect consequences than positive ones.这个TS里的sometimes我觉得用的不合适
你的文章应该重点在于说明丑闻的坏处大于好处，这个sometimes放在这里冲淡了他的负面影响~~

另外最后一段的论证（abuse）那段，感觉比较混乱，
Furthermore, scandals sometimes are abused for drawing attention,
in such cases, scandals are not useful at all.（TS） The fact is that
,nowadays people are more interested in scandals. To satisfy this
desire, mass media keep searching for scandals. On the other hand, （on the other hand 由何而来？）
those who can catch the eyeballs can succeed easily. As a result, some
celebrated persons or groups make use of this preference to scandal,
and showed the public that they are involved in a scandal in order to
draw their attention.（这里说名人故意炒作，可是刘德华的例子不恰当吧~，往往是小报什么的寻找卖点吧~）
This phenomenon is most serious in the
entertainment field. For instance, the superstar in Asian area, Andy
Liu, was said to be murdered because of sex scandals more than once.
Everytime this scandal drew public's attention, then Liu himself would
come out to say that he was not involved in such scandals at all. In
fact, those scandals are only tricks of Liu himself to keep the
eyeballs on him. In such cases, scandals do draw our attention, but
they are unproductive, and can bring us nothing but wasting time and
money, they can not be useful at all.（什么意思~）

韩国那个人的例子我写完才想起来~~觉得这个例子的叙述语言不好，如果查查资料，说出人名，叙述的正式而权威的话效果更好~~

里面还有些小语病，比如：a serious
declined confident to government.

结果挺清楚的，前两段的论述比第三段好，感觉~~

个人意见，不知是否恰当，望互相讨论~~

我也写了这个文章，有空拍拍我的吧
http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=643852&highlight=issue185

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