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[未归类] ISSUE11 8-20要考了，请大家给点意见或建议 [复制链接]

mabla
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2007-8-16 13:00:37 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

588words 限时间写的，可是最后还是没写完结尾，超了5-6分钟。发现都很难写完，更别说写好。没见天了，大家能不能给点建议？

ISSUE 11 "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."

In the background of globalization, the most persistent social problems and tough challenges become more international and the communications between different countries are mutual beneficial. Thus the call for all nations to help support the development of a international university to engage students for the purpose of solving international problems is meaningful in the sense that the cross-culture wisdom, possible introduction of novel ideas and approaches, and the experiences in other countries  will certainly provide impetus for solving these problems. But the international cooperation inherently is complex and hard to coordinate. Besides, the limitations of global universities are obvious, too. Thus, the effect of the global university will not be that promising in reality.

The merits of global universities are great. As the problems of current society, especially international relationship, conflicts between nations, environment protection and energy crisis, are themselves international, the introduction of cross-culture study is of essence. In a global university, faculties and students from different nations have opportunities to work close together to undertake cross-cultures research, which will definitely shed light on the solutions. Moreover, faculties and students of diverse culture and academic background are likely to bring some novel ideas or approaches. This almost need no further justification as it is happening currently in some of the world's leading institutes of higher learning, even in the areas far from culture and social problems. In the RF analogy circuit design lab of University of Texas at austin, professors and students from Britain, Russian, China as well as the States exchange ideas and often have some illumination from each other.

However, the attempt to build a truly international university that has support from all nations will encounter some predictable difficulties. First, as the resources as well as funding come from various nations, which all have interest and believes of their own, it is difficult to reach agreements and come to compromises in a lot of issues. The administration effectiveness and efficiency of this university will be heavily affected. It is not surprising if the adverse effect will become so great that the university is hard to even keep daily operation.

Even if the problem of co-operation and coordination of various nations are solved, the advancement brought by global university has some limitations. Firstly, the persistent problems always have long histories and rooted deeply in human nature and social structure, which are not easy to change. The history tells us that these problems just exist in all social and cultural settings. So the chances of completely solving these problems are low. Secondly, for the fundamental problems such as economical development, social welfare, wars and crimes, the real challenge is how to understand them and propose ideal structure of organization or society. This challenge is pure intellectual challenge and the diverse cultures and experiences may help little.

  In sum, the building of a global university aiming at persistent social problems through international cooperation will no doubt benefit all nations. And currently international cooperation in small scale such as research group is actually making differences. But due to the complexity of coordination and some inherent limitations of global universities, we could not rely on global universities to solve the persistent social problems completely. On the contrary, the negotiation between governments, the culture communication and exchanges of nations and efforts from everybody on this earth are needed to realize this great vision.

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mabla
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沙发

发表于 2007-8-16 15:02:49 |只看该作者

回复 #1 mabla 的帖子

自己顶一个，希望有人帮看一下：）

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SavileRow
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板凳

发表于 2007-8-16 17:25:02 |只看该作者

这个题目我写的时候感觉巨恶心
晚上回来看看

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ambitionxx
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地板

发表于 2007-8-16 19:15:50 |只看该作者

However, the attempt to build a truly international university that has support from all nations will encounter some predictable difficulties. First, as the resources as well as funding come from various nations, which all have interest and believes of their own, it is difficult to reach agreements and come to compromises in a lot of issues. The administration effectiveness and efficiency of this university will be heavily affected. It is not surprising if the adverse effect will become so great that the university is hard to even keep daily operation. (有first了，没有second,难道下一段是second?,这样不太合适)

楼主的语言还是很好的。我的建议是，开头指出你的观点，结尾明确得出的结论，在论述时最好在每一段写出的TS，而且要醒目！考试时，省好题，不要偏了就可以了！以前也看了你几篇，你作文还是不错的！勇敢的上路的，勇士！祝成功！

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mabla
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5楼

发表于 2007-8-16 23:21:21 |只看该作者

回复 #4 ambitionxx 的帖子

谢谢啦：）

btw“在论述时最好在每一段写出的TS，而且要醒目” 什么是TS啊？

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ambitionxx
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6楼

发表于 2007-8-17 09:33:55 |只看该作者

回复 #5 mabla 的帖子

topic sentence

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SavileRow
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7楼

发表于 2007-8-17 19:32:26 |只看该作者

看一段提一段，怕等一下忘记

para1
Thus the call for all nations to help support the development of a international university to engage students for the purpose of solving international problems is meaningful
和effect of the global university will not be that promising in reality.
作为主旨
要放在一起
现在是完全被各种背景给淹没包围了，还被隔离了，不好。而且Thus那句还连了个in the sense，是我的话就明确提出他，把in the sense用标点也好，用其他方法也好，让他离开TS。突出再突出才是重点

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SavileRow
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8楼

发表于 2007-8-17 19:46:35 |只看该作者

第二，第三段是TS不突出的问题

大概就是ambition说的那样，ts要突出，在第一句就点明，而且不要太冗长。
第二段的用词和开头有些重复，考虑替换或者把第一段写得简单一些。因为看完第二段之后突然发现第一段背景介绍把第二段的词给抢了。背景介绍时候可以更概括一些
第四段的结构就很不错
结尾我喜欢，有进一步发展而不是单纯复述
in sum
语言很好，改了好几次作文都很佩服
抓紧时间把限时问题解决，就肯定没问题了

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Tracybest
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9楼

发表于 2007-8-17 20:27:28 |只看该作者

我也觉得这个题目很BT。我觉得你写的很好了，文笔也不错，学习。。。
但有一个问题，LZ的赞成全球大学的主要角度是cross culture?总是觉得论证不够彻底。
我自己随机模考也抽到这个题目，简直晕了。
在想，全球大学到底建在哪里？如果建在美国，不是已经有哈佛，耶鲁什么的了，而且教授学生也是来自世界各地，专业也是什么都有了，有必要建么。（扯远了：）

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mabla
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10楼

发表于 2007-8-18 17:16:39 |只看该作者

[Thanks]

Thanks for reviews and comments.

I arrived Xiamen from Fuzhou this afternoon and the super typhoon is coming, wow~

To sum up, I think there are mainly two problems in my essay:
(1)the main idea of the essay and topic sentences are not very clear, so I will try to write good TS
(2)essay is not well developed, it lacks example, details and quotations. So I will try to add some next time, though I have little accumulation -_-!

Thanks again, maybe I will poster 1 or 2 more issue(s)/argument(s) in these two days, so if you guys have time, please have a look, just as this time. I am grateful:)

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