[作文] 快考了，请大家帮我看看我还能冲6分不？ [复制链接]

mydogdog
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电梯直达

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发表于 2008-3-1 11:18:29 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject .
To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Nowadays, there is a hot topic about whether male and female students should be given the same chance to be admitted to universities .Some people hold the view that both man and woman should have the same right to get into universities .However ,others believe that it depends on different situations .

In my opinion ,universities should enact a exact standard to make everyone clear if he or she can meet the demand of universities . It is means that university must recruit the competent one no matter who is man or who is woman .Regardless of equal numbers ,the same and clear standard just means to the real equal right to every student who want to go to universities for further education .

For example ,you will easily find that the popularity of men whose major is computer science is always higher than female who research in the same area .Due to the nature difference in the logic thinking ,female students are not able to be as competitive as male do in most situations .The area of foreign language ,to offer another instance ,always has the bigger figures of female students .

Admittedly ,in order to balance the population between different sex ,sometimes the government of universities may relax their requirement of admission ,which may be beneficial to the management of universities and government .

However ,when asking about the question of whether male and female college students should share the same number in every subject ,I firmly believe that it depends on different situations While the nearly same standard in every subject is the major factor which should be considered if the student is the right one for the subject .

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safinazhuang
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沙发

发表于 2008-3-1 14:04:10 |只看该作者

我觉得，你应该在开头就挑明自己的观点
还有，那段government好像有些奇怪，你觉得呢
从你这学了enact和to offer another instance2个表达
如果你能把文章条理明晰，相信你会写得更好的

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wengzhangzz
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板凳

发表于 2008-3-1 14:19:27 |只看该作者

第二行：both men and women你用单数了，错。
第二段：1. an exact
         2. meet the demand?? its better to use requirements.
         3.It is means.错
         4.第二行应该用universities，你前面都用复数了，现在用单数干吗啊
         5.第二句话太长。。。。。如果你想要表达不管是男的还是女的，可以用简单的regardless of their gender.
         6.最后一句话不同的
第三段：1.第一句话，两个对比，你应该用than that of female's，你这样比较的话，不对的
         2.第二句话，你要是碰到一个女的批卷子的人，你这句话一写，哼哼，别说6分。。。。5分都没了。不要对性别进行攻击。。。。。虽然有时候它是个事实。
         3.foreign languages
第四段：不懂你要表达啥。。。。。。我比较白痴
第五段：1.标点符号呢？读得我断气了。。。
         2.when asked 就可以了，后面的question of 两个字删了
         3.in each subject.
         4.nearly the same standard in each subject
         5.which前面加逗号
         6.我知道你最后一句话想表现的意思是数量的多少取决于这个学生是不是适合这个学科吧？
能不能这样写： whether the choice of major is appropriate for the students is the major factor that will deside the proportion of female and male students.