[a习作temp] Argument137 [Jet小组] 第十一次作业 [复制链接]

滴滴雨儿
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发表于 2008-2-27 21:01:17 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

题目：ARGUMENT137 - The following appeared in an editorial in the Mason City newspaper.

"At present, Mason City residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any kind of recreational activity, even though surveys of the region's residents consistently rank water sports (swimming, fishing, and boating) as a favorite form of recreation. Since there have been complaints about the quality of the water in the river, residents must be avoiding the river because they think that it is not clean enough. But that situation is about to change: the agency responsible for rivers in our region has announced plans to clean up Mason River. Therefore, recreational use of the river is likely to increase, so the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River."

The speaker contends that the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River as a questionable premise that people will likely to increase recreational use of the river. The speaker obviously made some mistakes logically when he or she come to the conclusion with evidence provided.

As a threshold matter, the assumption that recreational use of the river is likely to increase is unsound. Although the speaker cites a survey that the region's residents consistently rank water sports such as swimming, fishing, and boating as a favorite form of recreation, there's seldom relationship between answering the survey and using Mason River for such activities. The speaker doesn't provided any information about where do residents in Mason City do recreational activities in their daily lives, nor whether or not they do such activities. It is possible that they prefer doing such water sports in a local sports center which owns a good swimming pool and other related facilities.

The speaker concludes that residents avoid the Mason River because they think it's not clean enough for the only evidence that there have been some complaints about the quality of the water in the river. Since we don't know who complain about the water and why they complain, we cannot be sure that it is the reason caused few water sports in the river. Besides, we also don't know whether the Mason River is available for people to do water sports. If the water flows too quickly and there are invisible whirlpools, then doing water sports in this river would be too dangerous.

Even though it is because of the water quality that residents in Mason City rarely use the river for recreational activity, it is still dubious whether people will increase their recreational use of this river. The agency responsible for rivers in this region though has announced plans to clean up Mason River; it cannot guarantee that the river would be cleaned to a level suitable for people to do recreational activities. Let along we don't know how long will the project of cleaning the river take place and when it will finish. If it will be finished in several years, then it is too early to say that city council needs to increase budget for related projects afterwards.

Finally, even the number of people using the river for recreational activities are increasing, there's no evidence implies that the publicly owned lands along the river need improvements. No reports show that those lands are ruined or improper for the flourish of water sports. If people really enjoy swimming in the Mason River, it is also true that few will care lands along the river, let along publicly owned lands. Besides, when the project of cleaning the river takes place, the Mason City council may also need to increase budget for supporting the cleaning project, to increase lands improvements budget may lead the city council into financial crisis.

To sum up, the speaker makes a hasty conclusion. To make it more convincing and give a better suggestion, more information should be provided.

What if everything happens out of control?

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jinlueva
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沙发

发表于 2008-2-28 15:20:53 |只看该作者

The speaker contends that the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River as a questionable premise that people will likely to increase recreational use of the river. The speaker obviously made some mistakes logically when he or she come to the conclusion with evidence provided. 注意句型变化阿。

As a threshold matter, the assumption that recreational use of the river is likely to increase is unsound. Although the speaker cites a survey that the region's residents consistently rank water sports such as swimming, fishing, and boating as a favorite form of recreation, there's seldom relationship between answering the survey and using Mason River for such activities. The speaker doesn't provided any information about where do residents in Mason City do recreational activities in their daily lives, nor whether or not they do such activities. It is possible that they prefer doing such water sports in a local sports center which owns a good swimming pool and other related facilities.

The speaker concludes that residents avoid the Mason River because they think it's not clean enough for the only evidence that there have been some complaints about the quality of the water in the river. Since we don't know who complain about the water and why they complain, we cannot be sure that it is the reason caused few water sports in the river. Besides, we also don't know whether the Mason River is available （suitable）for people to do water sports. If, for instance, the water flows too quickly and there are invisible whirlpools, then doing water sports in this river would be too dangerous.例子挺有新意哦

Even though it is because of the water quality that residents in Mason City rarely use the river for recreational activity, it is still dubious whether people will increase their recreational use of this river. The agency responsible for rivers in this region though has announced plans to clean up Mason River; it cannot guarantee that the river would be cleaned to a level suitable for people to do recreational activities. Let along we don't know how long will the project of cleaning the river take place and when it will finish. If it will be finished in several years, then it is too early to say that city council needs to increase budget for related projects afterwards.

Finally, even the number of people using the river for recreational activities are increasing, there's no evidence implies that the publicly owned lands along the river need improvements. No reports show that those lands are ruined or improper for the flourish of water sports. If people really enjoy swimming in the Mason River, it is also true that few will care lands along the river, let along publicly owned lands. Besides, when the project of cleaning the river takes place, the Mason City council may also need to increase budget for supporting the cleaning project, to increase lands improvements budget may lead the city council into financial crisis.

To sum up, the speaker makes a hasty conclusion. To make it more convincing and give a better suggestion, more information should be provided.

结构和思路都没有太大问题，但是语言应该更多样一些。加油！

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