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[i习作temp] issue130 【7\8\9\10】 第一次作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-7-21 21:48:33 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
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       The speaker asserts that society’s destiny hinges on the children’s socialization, and we did poorly on helping children to be socialized. While these points seem have some reasonable factors, I finally found it hard to support them. These claims are too arbitrary and little supported by the fact.

       Consider the speaker’s claim that the society’s destiny lies on the degree of children’s socialization first. Although the socialization of children plays a role in determine the society’s future, it’s not the most important role.

       A simple example is, this claim will suffer disastrous frustration, when turn our sights to the prominent president Theodore Roosevelt. It can hardly said that this giant has a socialized childhood as he was self-contemptuous and always been isolated by his peers due to his sickness and suffering from asthma. But these isolation, inferiority and standoffishness never stop Roosevelt from being a social-activist president who attributes a lot to not only the society and the nation, but also the whole world. He ascended to a giant through not a socialized childhood but his willing to overcome the physical shortage and greed appetite for knowledge.

       Consider in succession the speaker’s claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can bring better society. If this assertion is tenable, today’s world should have been more chaos and retrograde than older days.
Actually this deduction is definite opposite to the truth. In fact, whoever retrospects to decades ago, can’t help but admit today’s world is much more civilized and developed, with the efforts from the children of the more recent half-century. Peace and development has become the theme of our world, while decades ago there are wares and cold war around the world. Human rights have been unprecedentedly respected, and democracy has spread all around the word. Diversity of cultures exists and is deeply esteemed by most the children of recent decades, across the culture and national boundaries. International cooperation abloom everywhere, spanning from Asia to America, socialistic countries to capitalistic ones, and developing countries to developed ones.

        All of these evidences unanswerably demonstrate our society and world are in advancement, as the contribution of the children of recent decades. In other words, the speaker’s second claim is poorly supported, even flies in the face of the truth.

        In sum, at first, the degree of a child’s socialization is far from the most factor effects on whether the child grows up to contribute to the society. There are many other factors such as personal faith, family influence, and individual intelligence and so on. To the speaker’s second claim, it ignores that our social is continually evolving towards a more civilized and developed one, and get a thorough false deduction. Hence, in the final analysis, I absolutely disagree with the speaker’s dual claim.

第一次写,有点慢.. 以后加油

[ 本帖最后由 sstonehu 于 2008-7-21 21:56 编辑 ]
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发表于 2008-7-22 01:01:14 |只看该作者
       The speaker asserts that society’s destiny hinges on the children’s socialization, and we did poorly on helping children to be socialized. While these points seem have some reasonable factors, I finally found it hard to support them(有点乱,them指的什么). These claims are too arbitrary and little supported by the fact(这个fact是什么).(开头有点单薄)

       Consider the speaker’s claim that the society’s destiny lies on the degree of children’s socialization first. Although the socialization of children plays a role in determine the society’s future, it’s not the most important role.


       A simple example is, this claim will suffer disastrous frustration, when turn our sights to the prominent president Theodore Roosevelt. It can hardly said that this giant has a socialized childhood as he was self-contemptuous and always been isolated by his peers due to his sickness and suffering from asthma. But these isolation, inferiority and standoffishness never stop Roosevelt from being a social-activist president who attributes a lot to not only the society and the nation, but also the whole world. He ascended to a giant through not a socialized childhood but his willing to overcome the physical shortage and greed appetite for knowledge. (这例子真好真贴切...)

       Consider in succession the speaker’s claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can bring better society. If this assertion is tenable, today’s world should have been more chaos and retrograde than older days. Actually this deduction is definite(definitely) opposite to the truth. In fact, whoever retrospects to decades ago, can’t help but admit today’s world is much more civilized and developed, with the efforts from the children of the more recent half-century. Peace and development has become the theme of our world, while decades ago there are wares and cold war around the world. Human rights have been unprecedentedly respected, and democracy has spread all around the word. Diversity of cultures exists and is deeply esteemed by most the children of recent decades, across the culture and national boundaries. International cooperation abloom everywhere, spanning from Asia to America, socialistic countries to capitalistic ones, and developing countries to developed ones. (个人觉得有逻辑问题,社会进步不能代表我们会教孩子,也许孩子和我们都是在一直摸索、自学...)

        All of these evidences unanswerably demonstrate our society and world are in advancement, as the contribution of the children of recent decades. In other words, the speaker’s second claim is poorly supported, even flies in the face of the truth.

        In sum, at first, the degree of a child’s socialization is far from the most factor effects on whether the child grows up to contribute to the society. There are many other factors such as personal faith, family influence, and individual intelligence and so on. To the speaker’s second claim, it ignores that our social is continually evolving towards a more civilized and developed one, and get a thorough false deduction. Hence, in the final analysis, I absolutely disagree with the speaker’s dual claim.


1、下次把题目也贴上吧,也许不只自己组员会看,省得别人去查
2、如果可能的话列上个中文提纲
3、优点啦,词汇比较丰富

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板凳
发表于 2008-7-22 20:49:05 |只看该作者

看过

哈哈
提个建议,你的段可不可以少分点
象第二段是不是也太单薄了,总体不错加油哈:)

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地板
发表于 2008-7-22 22:20:47 |只看该作者
我已经把段落格式改了 看了下你的 也提个意见好像段落是不是太多了 每个段落构不成一个很完整的意思

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RE: issue130 【7\8\9\10】 第一次作业 [修改]
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issue130 【7\8\9\10】 第一次作业
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