[a习作temp] ARGUMENT233 头一次argu 超过400字 [复制链接]

linyjl
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发表于 2008-8-3 12:59:57 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

题目：ARGUMENT233 - The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a company that builds shopping malls throughout the country.

"The surface of a section of Route 101, paved two years ago by McAdam Road Builders, is now badly cracked and marred by dangerous potholes. In another part of the state, a section of Route 66, paved by Appian Roadways more than four years ago, is still in good condition. Appian Roadways has recently purchased state-of-the-art paving machinery, and it has hired a new quality-control manager. Because of its superior work and commitment to quality, we should contract with Appian Roadways rather than McAdam Road Builders to construct the access roads for all our new shopping malls."
字数：454 用时：00:29:00 日期：2008-8-3 11:44:04

By citing the evidence that the road paved two years ago by McAdam Road Builders (MRB) is badly damaged, and the road paved by Appian Roadways (AR) is still in good condition, the author concludes that their company should contract with AR to construct the access roads for all their new shopping malls. Closely scrutinizing the reasoning line of the argument, several critical flaws can be found, as discussed below.

In the first place, due to the various dissimilarities of the Route 101 and Route 66, the comparison between the current two road conditions seems not sound. According to our common sense, the damage of the road is closely related with the climate and the high traffic volume. Thus, it is possible that the usage frequency of the two roads is different because of their different locations. It is quite possible that R66 is less likely to be used due to its relatively remote location, while R101 is in the center of the city and has to deal with heavy traffic everyday, and this contributes to the poor condition of R101 now. Or it is equally possible that the maintenance of R101 is not provided on time, and this leads to the quickened deterioration of the road. Without ruling out these factors, the author cannot judge the quality of the road from the comparison of the current condition of the road.

In addition, the recently purchase of advanced machinery cannot automatically lead to the efficiency and quality of the paved road. It is quite possible that the workers have to get familiar to the function and manipulation of the machine for a relatively long time, or perhaps they have to receive the long time training about the use of it.

Also, hiring a new quality-control manager cannot guarantee the good quality of the road. It is highly possible that the newly hired manager is not familiar with the current situation of the AR Company, which will cost him some time to know about the whole managing procedure.

Finally, the author recommends that their company should contract with AR to construct the access roads for all their new shopping malls without caring about other companies. However, even if AR undertakes all the projects, the good quality of road might not be guaranteed. It is possible that there are some road conditions they cannot handle, or the brand new machine cannot get used to some special soil characters of the road. In addition, it is possible that some other companies with high quality paving experience and relatively low cost can also fulfill the job. Therefore, the author recommendation of AR rather than other companies is unwarranted.

To sum up, the author fails to justify his recommendation about signing contract with AR rather that MRB. To bolster the argument, the author should investigate the difference of the R101 and R66. Also, the author should take other companies who are qualified for the paving road into consideration.

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hi-momo
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沙发

发表于 2008-8-4 22:22:40 |只看该作者

By citing the evidence that the road paved two years ago by McAdam Road Builders (MRB) is badly damaged, and the road paved by Appian Roadways (AR) is still in good condition, the author concludes that their company should contract with AR to construct the access roads for all their new shopping malls. Closely scrutinizing the reasoning line of the argument, several critical flaws can be found, as discussed below.

In the first place, due to the various dissimilarities of the Route 101 and Route 66, the comparison between the current two road conditions seems not sound. According to our common sense, the damage of the road is closely related with the climate and the high traffic volume. Thus, it is possible that the usage frequency of the two roads is different because of their different locations. It is quite possible that R66 is less likely to be used due to its relatively remote location, while R101 is in the center of the city and has to deal with heavy traffic everyday, and this contributes to the poor condition of R101 now. Or it is equally possible that the maintenance of R101 is not provided on time, and this leads to the quickened deterioration of the road. Without ruling out these factors, the author cannot judge the quality of the road from the comparison of the current condition of the road.（我觉得这段写的特别好！）

In addition, the recently purchase of advanced machinery cannot automatically lead to the efficiency and quality of the paved road. It is quite possible that the workers have to get familiar to the function and manipulation of the machine for a relatively long time, or perhaps they have to receive the long time training about the use of it.

Also, hiring a new quality-control manager cannot guarantee the good quality of the road. It is highly possible that the newly hired manager is not familiar with the current situation of the AR Company, which will cost him some time to know about the whole managing procedure.（这2段可以并一起写...不然结构看上去不够规整）

Finally, the author recommends that their company should contract with AR to construct the access roads for all their new shopping malls without caring about other companies. However, even if AR undertakes all the projects, the good quality of road might not be guaranteed. It is possible that there are some road conditions they cannot handle, or the brand new machine cannot get used to some special soil characters of the road. In addition, it is possible that some other companies with high quality paving experience and relatively low cost can also fulfill the job. Therefore, the author recommendation of AR rather than other companies is unwarranted.

To sum up, the author fails to justify his recommendation about signing contract with AR rather that MRB. To bolster the argument, the author should investigate the difference of the R101 and R66. Also, the author should take other companies who are qualified for the paving road into consideration.

恭喜你字数终于上了400！呵呵...
攻击点都对，表达上还可以更准确一点吧...加油！

[ 本帖最后由 hi-momo 于 2008-8-4 22:32 编辑 ]

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