[活动] 【12月-1月IBT综合备考活动】之【TWE写作】12月22日作业 by 达达 [复制链接]

达达摩摩
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电梯直达

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发表于 2008-12-22 16:39:05 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

12.22日作业Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The ability to cooperate with other well is more important today than in the past.（2007.3.4）

   With the rapidly development of economy. We have more and more work to do and at the same time , It is common believed that in the modern society , it has become more and more complex. This is a complicated social phenomenon. How can we catch up with the complex? As my opinion , I think we will cooperate with others to work ,study and so on.

   Firstly, human cooperation is born in human evolution is the spirit of some of the reasons are because of people .For example, Sam Walton, creator of Wal-mart, the world’s largest retailing empire, grew up in a destitute family. By the 1960s, the American retailing industry was experiencing a revolution: discount retailing. Walton’s business acumen made him realize that this was where the business would go. He and his brother opened their own store, Wal-Mart Discount City. Not only family but also country , they are all cooperate .

Secondly，with the rapidly development social , about the desire for more cooperation. For example , there are some pollution problems with the whole word (greenhouse ,ozone,
global warming and so on) , face on these problems , one country can not solve , we have to cooperation with some countries . For instance global warming is the result of the burning fossil fuels.
The burning of fossil fuels release a wide a range of green house gases , mainly carbon dioxide into the atmosphere . Increased amounts of carbon dioxide aggravate the green house effects . This result is increases of global temperatures .

Third, with the degree of social , human being have become  an inter independent net , however personal can not be isolated from outside, our life can not left cooperation.

To sum up, an irresistible trend of cooperate with other is more important today.

[ 本帖最后由达达摩摩于 2008-12-22 16:42 编辑 ]

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chineselady
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沙发

发表于 2008-12-23 10:28:56 |只看该作者

With the rapidly development of economy.断句 We have more and more work to do and at the same time , It is common believed that in the modern society , it has become more and more complex. This is a complicated social phenomenon. How can we catch up with the complex? As my opinion , I think we will cooperate with others to work ,study and so on

Firstly, human cooperation is born in human evolution is the spirit of some of the reasons are because of people .For example, Sam Walton, creator of Wal-mart, the world’s largest retailing empire, grew up in a destitute family. By the 1960s, the American retailing industry was experiencing a revolution: discount retailing. Walton’s business acumen made him realize that this was where the business would go. He and his brother opened their own store, Wal-Mart Discount City. Not only family but also country , they are all cooperate

Secondly，with the rapidly development social , about the desire for more cooperation. For example , there are some pollution problems with the whole word (greenhouse ,ozone, lobal warming and so on) , face on these problems , one country can not solve , we have to cooperation with some countries . For instance global warming is the result of the burning fossil fuels.
8wn h+NR!Sbbs.gter.net The burning of fossil fuels release a wide a range of green house gases , mainly carbon dioxide into the atmosphere . Increased amounts of carbon dioxide aggravate the green house effects . This result is increases of global temperatures .

|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE4BS])L4~#}O5z I M%F
Third, with the degree of social , human being have become an inter independent net , however personal can not be isolated from outside, our life can not left cooperation
To sum up, an irresistible trend of cooperate with other is more important today LZ的文章都好酷!蛮简短的,这样字数是不是不够啊.有些小的语法还有断句.每段的观点都好就是没有太展开好象是一带而过.

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达达摩摩
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板凳

发表于 2008-12-23 11:32:49 |只看该作者

恩谢谢是有点少才304words，唉最近写不出来啊烦！！！状态不好的说坚持!!!

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nickey0809
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地板

发表于 2008-12-23 12:39:11 |只看该作者

With the rapidly (rapid) development of economy. We have more and more work to do and at the same time. It is commonly believed that in the modern society , it has become more and more complex. This is a complicated social phenomenon. How can we catch up with the complex? As (in)my opinion , I think we will cooperate with others to work ,study and so on.(开题展开不利，怎么可以最后结论才说到cooperate, 句子也都是中式英语哦)

Firstly, human cooperation is born in human evolution is the spirit of some of the reasons are because of people .（一句话三个谓语太强了……，态度不认真阿）For example, Sam Walton, creator of Wal-Mart, the world’s largest retailing empire, grew up in a destitute family. By the 1960s, the American retailing industry was experiencing a revolution: discount retailing. Walton’s business acumen made him realize that this was where the business would go（！！！！）. He and his brother opened their own store, Wal-Mart Discount City. Not only family but also country , they are all cooperate.（例子和好，就是阐述不好，而且有个例子是不够的，前后要有分析句和引出句，这样可以凑出很多字啊）

Secondly，with the rapidly development social （！！！！重复用已经很不好了，还用错）, about the desire for more cooperation. （能把这句翻译给我听么，主谓宾呢）For example, there are some pollution problems with the whole word （！！！！）(greenhouse ,ozone, global warming and so on) ,（who??） face on these problems , one country can not solve , we have to cooperation with some countries . For instance global warming is the result of the burning fossil fuels。The burning of fossil fuels release a wide a range of green house gases , mainly carbon dioxide into the atmosphere . Increased amounts of carbon dioxide aggravates the green house effects . This result is increases of global temperature.

Third, with the degree of social, human being have become an inter independent net (???!!!!), however personal can not be isolated from outside, our life can not left cooperation.

To sum up, an irresistible trend of cooperate with other is more important today.

态度很不认真！
你把我标红笔的句子都认真开好了，至少不要有语病
我再重新帮你改吧

[ 本帖最后由 nickey0809 于 2008-12-23 13:02 编辑 ]

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