[a习作temp] Argument209【决战AW作文小组】第1次作业 yanlingin [复制链接]

yanlinglin
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2009-1-25 12:20:07 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

209The following recommendation was made by the Human Resources Manager to the board of directors of the Fancy Toy Company.

"In the last three quarters of this year, under the leadership of our president, Pat Salvo, our profits have fallen considerably. Thus, we should ask for her resignation in return for a generous severance package. In Pat's place, we should appoint Rosa Winnings. Rosa is currently president of Starlight Jewelry, a company whose profits have increased dramatically over the past several years. Although we will have to pay Rosa twice the salary that Pat has been receiving, it will be well worth it because we can soon expect our profits to increase considerably."

In this argument, the Human Resources Manager of Fancy Toy Company recommends that the company should dismiss the president Pat Salvo and appoint Rosa Winnings in Pat's place. To support the conclusion, the manager points out that the profits of the company have fallen considerably under the leadership of Pat, while the profits of Starlight Jewelry whose currently president is Rosa Winnings have increased dramatically. In addition, the arguer reasons that if the company appoints Rosa, the profits will soon increase considerably. However, this argument suffers from several critical fallacies.

First of all, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between the falling profits of Fancy Toy Company and unsuccessful management of its current president, Pat Salvo. To begin with, the lost of profits might be a temporary and superficial phenomenon. We can not exclude the possibility that the profits of this company are seasonal, and maybe in the season coming soon the profits will increase. What's more, the reasons caused the drop of profits may be varied not only due to Pat. The increasing of company's crew, the depression of entire toy industry, and decreasing of children who like toys in the area their products can also be the possibility. Without ruling out all other requisite factors it is unfair to attribute all errors to Pat.

In addition, the similar weakness the argument has is that the increasing profits of Starlight Jewelry may not be due to the management of Rosa Winnings. Improvement of profits can depends on so many elements that it is unfair to point out only one possible reason by an individual. We can see if the crew of Starlight Jewelry performance more diligent, and the materials used in the production are cheaper, and the spread of market is more extensive，the profits will be promoted for granted. Well management by its president is only one of possible factors but not the whole origin. Since the argument fails to show us other explanation, the arguer can not convince us by its weak recommendation.

The last but not least, even if we admit two assumptions the manager has recommends above, we can not conclude that Rosa Winnings could still adapt to the new circumstances and performance well. Rosa has her experience on managing a jewelry company not a toy company. As we all know, the production process, the methods of merchandising and the models of management in two kinds of companies differs a lot from each other. Further more, we can not rule out the possibility that crew in Fancy Toy Company would not adapt themselves to new president, and without being familiar with the environment of new company and new market，the new president may make the profits worse.

In conclusion, the argument is not well reasoned as it stands. To make it logically acceptable, the arguer would have to demonstrate that there is indeed relationship between profits diminishing and current president Pat's management. Similarly, whether the well management of Rosa is the only and main factor of increasing the profits of Starlight Jewelry needs to be proved. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information regarding how the new president can manage the new company as well as before.

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yanlinglin
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沙发

发表于 2009-1-25 12:21:03 |只看该作者

为什么每次发帖字体都会不对~~~晕了~~~将就着吧~~~

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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lilac0702
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板凳

发表于 2009-1-26 09:47:07 |只看该作者

1# yanlinglin
In this argument, the Human Resources Manager of Fancy Toy Company recommends that the company should dismiss the president Pat Salvo and appoint Rosa Winnings in Pat's place. To support the conclusion, the manager points out that the profits of the company have fallen considerably under the leadership of Pat, while the profits of Starlight Jewelry whose currently president is Rosa Winnings have increased dramatically. In addition, the arguer reasons that if the company appoints Rosa, the profits will soon increase considerably. However, this argument suffers from several critical fallacies.

First of all, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between the falling profits of Fancy Toy Company and unsuccessful management of its current president, Pat Salvo. To begin with, the lost of profits might be a temporary and superficial phenomenon. We cannot exclude the possibility that the profits of this company are seasonal, and maybe in the season coming soon the profits will increase. What's more, the reasons caused causing the drop of profits may be varied not only due to Pat: The increasing of company's crew, the depression of entire toy industry, and decreasing number of children who like toys in the area their products can also be the possibility. Without ruling out all other requisite factors it is unfair to attribute all errors to Pat.

In addition, the similar weakness the argument has is that the increasing profits of Starlight Jewelry may not be due to the management of Rosa Winnings. Improvement of profits can depends on so many elements that it is unfair to point out owe only one possible reason by to an individual. We can see if the performances of the crew of Starlight Jewelry are better performance more diligent, and the materials used in the production are cheaper, and the spread of market is more extensive(意思没表达准确哦)，the profits will be promoted for granted. （be bound to increase.）Well management by its president is only one of possible factors but not the whole origin. Since the argument fails to show us other explanation, the arguer cannot convince us by its weak recommendation.

The last but not least, even if we admit two assumptions the manager has recommends above, we cannot conclude that Rosa Winnings could still adapt to the new circumstances and performance well. Rosa has her experience on managing a jewelry company not a toy company. As we all know, the production process, the methods of merchandising and the models of management in two kinds of companies differs a lot from each other. Furthermore, we cannot rule out the possibility that crew in Fancy Toy Company would not adapt themselves to new president, and without being familiar with the environment of new company and new market，the new president may make the profits worse.

In conclusion, the argument is not well reasoned as it stands. To make it logically acceptable, the arguer would have to demonstrate that there is indeed relationship between profits diminishing profits and current president Pat's management. Similarly, whether the well management of Rosa is the only and main factor of increasing the profits of Starlight Jewelry needs to be proved prove. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information regarding how the new president can manage the new company as well as before.
第一篇写成这样已经很不错了
几个小错误指出下，cannot不能分开写。句子注意谓语是否缺少等
继续努力哦！

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chvlyl
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地板

发表于 2009-1-26 13:12:21 |只看该作者

In this argument, the Human Resources Manager of Fancy Toy Company recommends that the company should dismiss the president Pat Salvo and appoint Rosa Winnings in Pat's place. To support the conclusion, the manager points out that the profits of the company have fallen considerably under the leadership of Pat, while the profits of Starlight Jewelry whose currently president is Rosa Winnings have increased dramatically. In addition, the arguer reasons that if the company appoints Rosa, the profits will soon increase considerably. However, this argument suffers from several critical fallacies.

First of all, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between the falling profits of Fancy Toy Company and unsuccessful management of its current president, Pat Salvo. To begin with, the lost of profits might be a temporary and superficial phenomenon. We can not exclude the possibility that the profits of this company are seasonal, and maybe in the season coming soon the profits will increase. What's more, the reasons caused the drop of profits may be varied vary就行了, 可以做vi. not only due to Pat. The increasing of company's crew, the depression of entire toy industry, and decreasing of children who like toys in the area their products can also be the possibility 是不是改用复数. Without ruling out all other requisite factors it is unfair to attribute all errors to Pat.

In addition, the similar weakness the argument has is that the increasing profits of Starlight Jewelry may not be due to the management of Rosa Winnings. Improvement of profits can depends on so many elements that it is unfair to point out only one possible reason by an individual. We can see if the crew of Starlight Jewelry performance more diligent, and the materials used in the production are cheaper, and the spread of market is more extensive，the profits will be promoted for granted. Well management by its president is only one of possible factors but not the whole origin. Since the argument fails to show us other explanation我觉得还是得用复数, the arguer can not convince us by its weak recommendation.

The last but not least, even if we admit two assumptions the manager has recommends above, we can not conclude that Rosa Winnings could still adapt to the new circumstances and performance well. Rosa has her experience on managing a jewelry company not a toy company. As we all know, the production process, the methods of merchandising and the models of management in two kinds of companies differs a lot from each other. Further more, we can not rule out the possibility that crew in Fancy Toy Company would not adapt themselves to new president, and without being familiar with the environment of new company and new market，the new president may make the profits worse.

In conclusion, the argument is not well reasoned as it stands. To make it logically acceptable, the arguer would have to demonstrate that there is indeed relationship between profits diminishing and current president Pat's management. Similarly, whether the well management of Rosa is the only and main factor of increasing the profits of Starlight Jewelry needs to be proved. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information regarding how the new president can manage the new company as well as before.

总的来说写得很好
结构很好,按照流行的结构安排写
过渡也比较自然,有连接词
论证上有让步攻击,反例都列举的很贴切

如果能在30分钟内写完,真的就很好了

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