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[i习作temp] Issue50 我是二傻我是三多~~~~啊啊啊啊 [复制链接]

小笨蚂蚁
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2009-8-25 10:50:15 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由小笨蚂蚁于 2009-8-25 10:53 编辑

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
WORDS: 488
TIME: 00:41:22
DATE: 2009-8-24 11:17:08

It can not guarantee that a professor who take part in professions work while spending time in the academic field will provide a better instruction to college students, though it may be helpful to work outside the acdemic world. The best way to improve the quality of instruction in the college, however, is to ensure that faculty are experienced,patient and enthusiastic when a student are confused.

A working professor is benefical for students to some extent. By getting a job in professions relevant to the courses they teach, faculty certainly can gain some practical experience, knowing both which kind of knowledge are most important when students are working and which courses students should take in order to work in a particular field. Also, professors could help introduce their students to employers if they are admired for their great work, thus give students a hand when they are hunting jobs. On the other hand, if professors are always exposed to the only acdemic world, they would not know what are happening in today's rapdily-changing world, neither they would not know whether their teaching content are out of date, and then caused a negative effect to their students for they are not given the latest information.

However, a good-qualatied instruction are not guaranteed by taking a job in the pratical world. Time and energy are both limited, if professor spent too much time on working, they would not pay enough attention to their students. They may not care about what their students are needing, desiring and dreaming of. Thinking about their job, professors may got a hasty conlusion about what courses a student should take, yet those courses may be useless to the student's interest or particular need. Those not well-considered instruction would be really harmful to a young man who do not really know what future will be. What's more, a bad intruction may totally ruin a student's faith to the faculty, and then the student would just do what he preferred, which might have potential and succesive drastic influences.

So, in order to improve the instruction's quality, faculty are required to be familiar with students' needs, thought and dreams, as well as be enthusiastic and patient. Knowing what college students are needing, thinking and dreaming of, combining with adults' experiences,instructions given by faculty would be really insightful and helpful, and could be more easily accepted and welcomed by students. Being enthusiastic and patient, faculty could inquire a student who is seeking instruction carefully, and then analyze the sitution togeter with the student. As a result, the instruction given would certainly have a better quality. Other qualities, such as responsibilty would help produce a good instruction, too.

In sum, what a good instruction need is personal qualities such as patience, enthusiasm, and responsibility of a faculty, not just acdemic knowledge and practical experience. And, faculty must be trained in a specific way to ensure a qualified instruction.

换个马甲, 烂文

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xueyi
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沙发

发表于 2009-8-25 22:52:54 |只看该作者

我一定给你改

总是长不大

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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无敌小番茄
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板凳

发表于 2009-8-26 14:53:19 |只看该作者

我进来看看这次再拍一个如果再无回拍以后绝不先拍别人的文章了
首先结构很好
第一眼感觉就很好
It can not guarantee that a professor who take part in professions work while spending time in the academic field will provide a better instruction to college students, though it may be helpful to work outside the acdemic world. The best way to improve the quality of instruction in the college, however, is to ensure that faculty are experienced,patient and enthusiastic when a student are confused.

不知道为什么编辑不了颜色了按钮坏掉了？
take part in professions work 题目是outside academic
A working professor is benefical for students to some extent. By getting a job in professions relevant to the courses they teach, faculty certainly can gain some practical experience, knowing both which kind of knowledge are most important when students are working and which courses students should take in order to work in a particular field. Also, professors could help introduce their students to employers if they are admired for their great work, thus give students a hand when they are hunting jobs. On the other hand, if professors are always exposed to the only acdemic world, they would not know what are happening in today's rapdily-changing world, neither they would not know whether their teaching content are out of date, and then caused a negative effect to their students for they are not given the latest information.

working professor 这是什么意思没有查到
and then caused a negative effect to their students for they are not given the latest information.
and -- nor
句子太长我看了好半天，不容易理解难道GRE 都要求是长句子，怎么读起来感觉那么累呢
可能是我接触AW 不长
总结下楼主这段的结构开头提出观点说有益处，然后解释实际经验的好处是，有利于自己的教学，一是知道那些在应用方面重要，二是可以有的放矢的教授课程。另外一条是可以推荐学生工作。
到这里写的都很好。但是被admire就能推荐工作吗？？有疑问
on the other hand 让整段更充分

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无敌小番茄
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地板

发表于 2009-8-26 14:55:08 |只看该作者

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-998763-1-1.html

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xueyi
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5楼

发表于 2009-8-26 17:45:10 |只看该作者

呀呀呀，那是我另一个ID，感动死了，我晚上一定给你改完贴出来！！！！大约8点左右！！！ 4# 无敌小番茄

总是长不大

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xueyi
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6楼

发表于 2009-8-26 23:02:39 |只看该作者

谢谢番茄指正！！！ 3# 无敌小番茄

总是长不大

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无敌小番茄
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7楼

发表于 2009-8-29 21:01:27 |只看该作者

虽然这几天没有新写作文，但是发现以前写的不好了
再来接着把小绿的习作改完
A working professor is benefical for students to some extent. 这句很有问题。
可以professor用个从句解释一下。
a good-qualatied instruction are not guaranteed by taking a job in the pratical world.
话说我这句也看不懂汗可能思维方式的问题

Time and energy are both limited, if professor spent too much time on working, they would not pay enough attention to their students. 这句有必要合并一下因为时间精力有限怎样怎样……

They may not care about what their students are needing, desiring and dreaming of.和我一样的毛病，没有展开来谈谈缺少说服力。这方面我也是被很多人批评了，但是不会改。
第三个论点是合的写法。不知道是不是从书上学来的呢

结构很好，第二个论点缺少说服力

combining with adults' experiences,instructions given by faculty 这个with是不是该用在两个概念中间。
结尾写得很好。 faculty must be trained in a specific way to ensure a qualified instruction. 这句是不是有点多余？

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