[Try best] Argument173 by suzie [复制链接]

yjwn1987
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2009-6-1 14:28:08 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 yjwn1987 于 2009-6-1 18:56 编辑

感觉第一段套模版套的很长很废，结尾是自己想的，还不太会开头结尾。整篇文用四级词汇写成，看起来相当低级。。。但愿能把意思说清楚一点。。。让板砖来的更猛烈些吧！
TOPIC: ARGUMENT173 - The following is a memorandum issued by the publisher of a newsmagazine, Newsbeat, in the country of Dinn.
"Our poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. Moreover, the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. Therefore, we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on our magazine covers."
WORDS: 365 TIME: --:-- DATE: 2009-6-1 下午 01:06:10
In this memo, the publisher suggests to decrease the emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying them on the magazine covers. To support his suggestion, the speaker cites the facts that (1)the poorest-selling magazine are those featured international news on the front covers during the past 3 years.(2) The competing magazines decreased the international news. (3) The cost of maintaining foreign bureaus is increasing. But none of these facts can support the speaker's assertion creditably

Firstly, the speaker seems to build his presentation on this concealed precondition: the magazines sell badly because the international news is boring and the local residents have no interest in them. But how can we know it's not the magazine's failure in reporting the inter-news? Perhaps the editor of Newsbeat cannot catch the hotspots of the international news, or they can't report in time as the other magazines do. Without the survey of the sales volume of other magazines displaying international stories on the covers, we can't believe in the publisher's conclusion, not even to agree with his suggestion.

Similarly, for we don't get the competing magazines' information, it's too early to make the conclusion why they decrease the international news. Maybe they have a cash flow problem and the size of the magazine is decreased, or they discover more valuable domestic news. For the situations of the Newsbeat and other companies are different, it's unadvisable to copy their actions.

What's more, if all its competitors turn to the domestic news as the speaker asserts, it seems more like an opportunity for the Newsbeat to increase the international news. For people who interested in international news will have no other choice but to buy the Newsbeat. So the publisher's suggestion may lead the Newsbeat to miss the chance.

In fact, speaker's fatal error is the ignorer of real factors affect news-magazine's selling. According to the common sense, quality of the news, the price of the magazine, the competitors' behavior and even the magazine cover's looking, all of these can determine the selling of a news-magazine. So it's undoubted unilateral for the speaker to make conclusion without thinking about all the factors. And his suggestion is hardly to be effective.

(才发现能上传附件了，激动一下）

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小红莓
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沙发

发表于 2009-6-3 11:29:32 |只看该作者

见附件

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板凳

发表于 2009-6-6 01:03:04 |只看该作者

In this memo, the publisher suggests to decrease the emphasises on international news and refrain from displaying them on the magazine covers. To support his suggestion既然是在写argument就不要说他的suggestion了，就是他的argument的吧, the speaker cites the facts that (1)the poorest-selling magazine are those featured international news on the front covers during the past 3 years.(2) The competing magazines decreased the international news. (3) The cost of maintaining foreign bureaus is increasing几个cite的facts没有很好的连接起来语法不允许看着也不连贯. But none of these facts can support the speaker's assertion creditably

Firstly, the speaker seems to build his presentation on this concealed precondition: the magazines sell badly because the international news is boring and the local residents have no interest in them.我怎么没发现arguer似乎是在这个隐藏的基础上来说在职卖得差的呢，有点勉强吧 But how can we know it's not the magazine's failure in reporting the inter-news? Perhaps the editor of Newsbeat cannot catch the hotspots of the international news, or they can't report in time as the other magazines do. Without the survey of the sales volume of other magazines displaying international stories on the covers, we can't believe in the publisher's conclusion, not even to agree with his suggestion.

Similarly,前面用了first后面就不要用别的了就专心用second，third吧，要不前面用first of all后面就可这样。 for we don't get the competing magazines' information, it's too early to make the conclusion 此同位语that不可省why they decrease the international news. Maybe they have a cash flow problem and the size of the magazine is decreased, or they have discovered more valuable domestic news. 这个理由有点牵强吧。找到更多国内消息也不能让他们一直不出关于国际消息的是吧？For the situations of the Newsbeat and other companies are different, it's unadvisable to copy their actions.

What's more, if all its competitors turn to the domestic news as the speaker assertsarguer没说all吧, it seems more like an opportunity for the Newsbeat to increase the international news. For people who interested in international news will have no other choice but to buy the Newsbeat. 可以不买啊，只能是曾大可能吧。So the publisher's suggestion may lead the Newsbeat to miss the chance.

In fact, speaker's fatal error is the ignorer ignorance of real factors affect news-magazine's selling. According to the common sense, the quality of the news, the price of the magazine, the competitors' behavior and even the magazine cover's looking, all of these can determine the selling of a news-magazine.有点绝对，可以加个to a great extent.缓冲一下 So it's undoubted unilateral for the speaker to make conclusion without thinking about all the factors. And his suggestion is hardly to

文章论证的角度可以更散更大的，还有就是表达观点时候尽可能达到准确，不夸大，不understatement。

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