[a习作temp] Argument167=So What=小组第5次作业 by 米丽水 [复制链接]

米丽水
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电梯直达

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发表于 2009-6-25 18:41:37 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

167. A folk remedy* for insomnia, the scent in lavender flowers, has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. During the second week, the volunteers discontinued their medication. As a result, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. This shows that over a short period of time lavender cures insomnia.
A folk remedy is usually a plant-based form of treatment common to
traditional forms of medicine, ones that developed before the advent of modern medical services and technology.
一种治疗失眠的偏方--薰衣草花香，现在被证明是有效的。在一次最近的调查中，30名患有慢性失眠的志愿者在三周之内每晚都在一个受监视的控制室内睡在带薰衣草花香的枕头上。在第一周，志愿者继续服用他们常用的安眠药。他们睡得很沉但醒来时很累。在第二周，他们不服用药物。结果与前一周相比他们睡得不那么沉并且感觉更累。在第三周，他们睡得比前两周时间长而且更深。这表明薰衣草在短时间内治愈了失眠。
结论：薰衣草在短时间内治愈了失眠。
理由：调查
反驳：调查在证明结论上的可信度。
这个调查有点难度。实验的合理性不够。
1 交叉对照
一般来说，如果调查中有a和b两种药同时参与，那么使用a药的一个疗程结束后，应该间隔一段时间以消除a药物的滞留影响，然后再在下一个疗程中使用b药物来确定a与b的疗效孰好孰差。然而题目中的研究呢？虽然有着一周的间隔时间，但是作者在实验中设置了这一周没有用药的时间是为了消除安眠药的作用么？安眠药的影响真的被消除了么？显然，我们无法知道第三周的结果到底是熏衣草的疗效还是前面安眠药的疗效。本攻击点针对交叉对照。
2下面就轮到非同周期对照研究了。本题中的非同周期对照研究事实上也是一种自身对照设计：即用同一病人，按治疗前后进行疗效的比较。缺乏合理对照组的研究方法也存在着明显的漏洞。临床研究中若无对照组，临床试验则可出现一些问题，例如临床常开展的某些新药的治疗研究，由于患者易受到心理暗示的作用，有些药即使对某些疾病无治疗作用，在受到暗示的患者身上也能发挥一定的治疗效果。因此，必需在试验中设立安慰剂对照组，以排除暗示治疗的作用。
4 第三周没有说明醒来是否累 5 没有后期观察不能说明治愈

*偏方通常是一种在传统医药中常见的植物治疗形式，这些传统医药是在现代医药服务和科技出现之前发展起来的。

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米丽水
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沙发

发表于 2009-6-25 18:42:06 |只看该作者

The author gets the conclusion that lavender cures insomnia over a short period of time based on the study that over there weeks of medication, 30 volunteers feel better in sleeping. The study appears plausible and successful in proving the effectiveness of lavender flower on insomnia. But after analysis of the credibility of the experiment, too much suspicion arises.
To begin with, there is much dispute over whether the lavender scent has a sound effect on treatment of insomnia or the sleeping medication. Generally speaking, it must take a certain period of time to diminish the effect of sleeping pills to zero before sleeping on lavender-scented pillows. Or else one will question that it is sleeping medication’s lag effect that plays a vital role in the treatment.
Second, with no control group, some one may attribute the better treatment to the self-aided guide. Under the circumstance, volunteers can also get the same effect without medication. Thus the experiment fails to lay a control group that prevents the effect of the self-implication on insomnia.
Third, even if the study way is reasonable, there are still some flawed details that cannot lead to the assertion that the patients are cured over a period of time. The chronic illnesses cannot be readily cured over a short period of time; the result fails to mention the effect after three weeks and a more long time so the cured saying is not convincing. Therefore, insufficient information about the study fails to convince me that the lavender-scented is effective.
To sum up, the unsound study way, together with the unclear data about the experiment cannot draw the conclusion that the lavender flower has a better effect on insomnia. Given a better experiment way like an added control group and more details about whether the insomnia will recover after treatment. Only in this way may I believe that the lavender does have miracle effect.

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fengrui129
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板凳

发表于 2009-6-25 21:37:01 |只看该作者

The author gets the conclusion that lavender cures insomnia over a short period of time based on the study that over there weeks of medication, 30 volunteers feel better in sleeping. The study appears plausible and successful in proving the effectiveness of lavender flower on insomnia. But after analysis of the credibility of the experiment, too much suspicion arises. (开头比较符合ETS标准)
To begin with, there is much dispute over whether the lavender scent has a sound effect on treatment of insomnia or the sleeping medication. Generally speaking, it must take a certain period of time to diminish the effect of sleeping pills to zero before sleeping on lavender-scented pillows.（缺主语， before requesting those patients to sleep on lavender-scented pillows） Or else one will question that it is sleeping medication’s lag effect (滞后反应，学会了) that plays a vital role in the treatment.
Second, with no control group,（你是想表达没有对照组么？ without counterparter） some one may attribute the better treatment to the self-aided guide. Under the circumstance, volunteers can also get the same effect without medication. Thus the experiment fails to lay a control group that prevents the effect of the self-implication on insomnia.
Third, even if the study way is reasonable, there are still some flawed details that cannot lead to the assertion that the patients are cured over a period of time. The chronic illnesses cannot be readily cured over a short period of time; the result fails to mention the effect after three weeks and a more long time so the cured saying is not convincing. Therefore, insufficient information about the study fails to convince me that the lavender-scented is effective.(没有提供人们感觉)
To sum up, the unsound study way, together with the unclear data about the experiment cannot draw the conclusion that the lavender flower has a better effect on insomnia. Given a better experiment way like an added control group and more details about whether the insomnia will recover after treatment. Only in this way may I believe that the lavender does have miracle effect.

结构清晰，段落安排也合理。但个人觉得在论证方面应该更详尽些，文章更丰满些才好

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米丽水
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地板

发表于 2009-6-25 23:50:10 |只看该作者

看北美范文思路：
开头：The speaks conclues that....To support this conclusion the speaker cites ...../The speaker's account of ...reveals several critical problems with it.Together, these problems serve to undermine the speaker's argument.点出结论和论据关系。最后说明作者的疑点。
展开：A threshold problem involves..../The speaker fails to ..../If....,....is irrelevant to whether.../In short,without a clear definition of..it is impossible to assess the strengh of the argument.
Another fundamental problem is that the speaker omits to inform us about..../It iw impossible to conclude with any confidence that....without comparing...to ...缺乏。。。不能推出。。。
Yet another problem involves the fact that ....../This evidence tends to show only that....例子不足以证明观点
A fourth problem involves the speaker's account of (原文信息改写）。We are not informed whether.../Assuming they...,any one of factor other than .....Perphaps .....or perphaps (这个影响因素要展开具体）In short, without ruling out other explainations for... the speaker cannot confidently indentify what caused ....
Two final problems with the argument invovle ...../The experiment's results are reliable only if all other factors that might affect ...remained constant and if the number of experimental subjects is statistically significant.Without evidence of the experiment's methodological and statistical reliability, the speaker's conclusion is unjustifialbe.这个提到实验如何可靠。A因素要导致B一是要其他因素是恒定的，比如环境因素，饮食，活动等因素一样；二要样本足够大足够有统计代表性。一正一反说吧
总结：In conclusion, the argument is unconvincing as it stands.To strenghen the assertion that...., the author must provide evidence that...../To better assess the argument, we would need a clear definition of....最后要点出哪些信息需要，一定要具体。
这个展开提到了：1 失眠一词没有很好定义因此怀疑实验中观察到的现象与是否治疗睡眠有关
2 实验者参加失眠前的睡眠情况，受试者应该睡眠状况相同
3 第二周的睡眠情况不但不能证明薰衣草效果，正好说明了它有干扰作用。
4.。。
5 没有提供其他影响睡眠的因素是否稳定。

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