[a习作temp] argument53 【keleidoscope】小组第六次作业 [复制链接]

cloverlanpus
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2009-8-12 16:30:55 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

上回一次性留了太多次的作业，竟然写成argu14，罪过罪过。补上……

The arguer concludes that the increased level of melatonin before birth is the reason if shyness during infancy and the later life. To support his conclusion the arguer cites a study about the behaviours of  25 infants and their later life. However, the argument suffers from several flaws.

Firstly, I strongly doubt the statistical reliability of the study for the number of infants they studied is too small. To establish a convincing  relationship between melatonin and the shyness of infants and teenagers, the study's sample must be sufficient in size and can represent the overall population. However, the size of the sample is only 25 which is far from enough and the arguer provide no evidence that these infants could represent the entire population. Thus, unless the arguer provide another study which covers more people and is sufficiently representative, I have a good reason to suspect all the conclusions drawn from this study.

Secondly, even if the study were sufficiently representative to draw a justifiable result that the infants should showed a sign of shyness are concieved in early autumn, the causal correlation between melatonin and the shyness is still unfounded. The arguer fails to rule out other possibility of the causes of shyness that are also occurred in early autumn. It is entirely possible that it is the temperature or the gravitation that cause infant's shyness, rather than melatonin.  Without showing that all the other causes are unsound, the arguer can hardly explain his assertion.

Thirdly, even if increased level of melatonin were the reason of infant's shyness, I find no evidence that the melatonin should also be responsible for the shyness in their later life. The arguer does't provide scientific standard to make sure whether they are shy or not. After all, the identification from themselves are unwarranted. What's more, their are other possible influencing factors that can also lead to the shyness in their later life, such social environment near their homes or the education from the school and their families. With out ruling out all these probable reasons, the arguer lend no support to his conclusion.

To sum up, the arguer oversimplifies the factors that may exert influence on the result of the study, and his hasty citing lead to a suspicious conclusion. To strengthen his argument, a more representative study which taking all the other interfering factors into consideration is indispensable.

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wdassfm
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沙发

发表于 2009-8-12 22:47:03 |只看该作者

The arguer concludes that the increased level of melatonin before (children’s) birth is the reason if(for) shyness during (their) infancy and the later life. To support his conclusion the arguer cites a study about the behaviours of 25 infants and their later life. However, the argument suffers from several flaws.

Firstly, I strongly doubt the statistical reliability of the study for the number of infants they studied is too small. To establish a convincing relationship between melatonin and the shyness of infants and teenagers, the study's sample must be sufficient in size and can represent the overall population. However, the size of the sample is only 25 which is far from enough and the arguer provide no evidence that these infants could represent the entire population. Thus, unless the arguer provide another study which covers more people and is sufficiently representative, I have a good reason to suspect all the conclusions drawn from this study.

Secondly, even if the study were sufficiently representative to draw a justifiable result that the infants should showed a sign of shyness are conceived(perceived) in early autumn, the causal correlation between melatonin and the shyness is still unfounded. The arguer fails to rule out other possibility of the causes of shyness that are(delete) also occurred in early autumn. It is entirely possible that it is the temperature or the gravitation that cause infant's shyness, rather than melatonin(这点再展开一下，看得有点晕). Without showing that all the other causes are unsound, the arguer can hardly explain his assertion.

Thirdly, even if increased level of melatonin were the reason of infant's shyness, I find no evidence that the melatonin should also be responsible for the shyness in their later life. The arguer does't(doesn’t) provide scientific standard to make sure whether they are shy or not. After all, the identifications from themselves are unwarranted. What's more, there are other possible influencing factors that can also lead to the shyness in their later life, such social environment near their homes or the education from the school and their families. Without ruling out all these probable reasons, the arguer lends no support to his conclusion.

To sum up, the arguer oversimplifies the factors that may exert influence on the result of the study, and his hasty citing lead to a suspicious conclusion. To strengthen his argument, a more representative study which taking all the other interfering factors into consideration is indispensable.
恩，LZ的建议很中肯，就是太贪多了我~ LZ文章结构很好例子展开的也很适当~层层递进，学习了
但是觉得一段一个flaw的结构不是很好，可是试着详略得当的加些，恩~个人观点

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