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[作文] 【独立写作】elisawuliang作业贴 [复制链接]

elisawuliang UID：2224236 elisawuliang 当前离线最后登录 2017-12-25 在线时间 362 小时寄托币 606 声望 36 注册时间 2006-6-24 阅读权限 5 帖子 212 精华 0 积分 774 UID 2224236 禁止发言声望 36 寄托币 606 注册时间 2006-6-24 精华 0 帖子 212 关注TA 加好友标签发消息	电梯直达楼主发表于 2012-10-10 22:13:22 \|只看该作者 \|倒序浏览提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽
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tokushade
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沙发

发表于 2012-10-11 03:09:52 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 tokushade 于 2012-10-11 03:15 编辑

Like a proverb says [As a proverb says/an old saying puts], a coin has two sides, so [informal, try to replace it with "thus" etc.] it is not easy to [be] agree or disagree with the statement "patience is usually not a good strategy." However, in my opinion, patience is a good quality only if it [is] a[n] efficient patience [patience is good/acceptable/reasonable etc. only when it brings about efficiency]. I will explain my argument [specify my explanations] in the following part from two aspects:

First of all, [being patient] patience does [not] mean [that] we do nothing but [,just] sitting and waiting for the solution, but [it rather] means [that] we give ourselves more time to do some intellectual works before acting [to prepare for actions intellectually/mentally]. Before taking action, we should ask good questions by understanding the [why 'the'? Did you mention a problem already?] problem and situation, if we urge ourselves to take action fast['urge' somewaht overlaps with 'want to do sth fast'] while making a long term strategy [Do you mean 'planning'?], the result will not be satisfied [result cannot be 'satisfied', it may be 'satisfying'] because of lake [the lack] of good consideration[I guess what you mean here is 'thorough consideration'].

Secondly, patience is also a great quality [same problem, see above] when we communicate with others. Maintaining a good relationship is a key to run things well [make things smooth] in all fields: [in] business, [in] family, [in] study and even [in] love relationship ['a relationship' is sufficient for what you want to say]. And communication needs [requires] patience, especially when you have [get together with/hang out with/hang around with] someone who comes from a totally different background of yours. If you have to go throw [go through? Do you want to say: work with a partner on a project?] a strategy with a partner, it [is] better to have his or her understanding [have yourself understood]. Furthermore, being patience [patient] with others shows your respect to others[them], that will make the cooperation possible [Without this precondition, any cooperation is impossible].

Some people will say that efficiency is important in daily life, that [is the reason] why they do [not] want to wast[e] their time in being patient[that is the reason why they consider patience a waste of time]. But patience is [not] the opposite of efficiency [patience and efficiency are not mutually exclusive], by [the] contrast, patience helps us to get [the] job [well] done [successfully] as far as the patience is efficient [patience buys one efficiency]: if we have paid enough patience but things just can't turn well, we are better off giving up and move forward[Do you want to say: "we'd better give up and move on"?], after all, what deserve ~~to be waited indefinitely in our lives [is there anything that deserves an endless wait in our life]?~~

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Noah_Mo
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板凳

发表于 2012-10-11 10:24:31 |只看该作者

已经修改

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niewenjuan123sd
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地板

发表于 2012-10-11 15:28:56 |只看该作者

加油

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elisawuliang UID：2224236 elisawuliang 当前离线最后登录 2017-12-25 在线时间 362 小时寄托币 606 声望 36 注册时间 2006-6-24 阅读权限 5 帖子 212 精华 0 积分 774 UID 2224236 禁止发言声望 36 寄托币 606 注册时间 2006-6-24 精华 0 帖子 212 关注TA 加好友标签发消息	5楼发表于 2012-10-22 16:54:38 \|只看该作者提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽

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Darren_Van
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6楼

发表于 2012-10-23 17:23:10 |只看该作者

已改···另外没看见楼主给我改的文章呐···

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feihong76
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7楼

发表于 2012-10-23 17:47:28 |只看该作者

1022批改稿

为梦想加油!

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feihong76
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8楼

发表于 2012-10-23 20:24:06 |只看该作者

看的最多的是TPO,

偶尔看看NYtimes 但没多大用,

我的作文都是我纠结了很久才写出来的..写作文太伤脑

我从小学起就恨写作文, 无论是语文作文还是英语作文

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elisawuliang UID：2224236 elisawuliang 当前离线最后登录 2017-12-25 在线时间 362 小时寄托币 606 声望 36 注册时间 2006-6-24 阅读权限 5 帖子 212 精华 0 积分 774 UID 2224236 禁止发言声望 36 寄托币 606 注册时间 2006-6-24 精华 0 帖子 212 关注TA 加好友标签发消息	9楼发表于 2012-10-23 20:38:52 \|只看该作者提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽

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elisawuliang UID：2224236 elisawuliang 当前离线最后登录 2017-12-25 在线时间 362 小时寄托币 606 声望 36 注册时间 2006-6-24 阅读权限 5 帖子 212 精华 0 积分 774 UID 2224236 禁止发言声望 36 寄托币 606 注册时间 2006-6-24 精华 0 帖子 212 关注TA 加好友标签发消息	10楼发表于 2012-10-23 20:41:54 \|只看该作者提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽

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