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rachelwang712
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电梯直达

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发表于 2010-2-22 09:36:04 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

3The following appeared in a newspaper article about law firms in the city of Megalopolis.

"In Megalopolis, the number of law school graduates who went to work for large, corporate firms declined by 15 percent over the last three years, whereas an increasing number of graduates took jobs at small, general practice firms. Even though large firms usually offer much higher salaries, law school graduates are choosing to work for the smaller firms most likely because they experience greater job satisfaction at smaller firms. In a survey of first-year students at a leading law school, most agreed with the statement that earning a high salary was less important to them than job satisfaction. This finding suggests that the large, corporate firms of Megalopolis will need to offer graduates more benefits and incentives and reduce the number of hours they must work."

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提纲：
1数量的减少可能是因为大型的公司的数量和招聘人数减少
2小公司增加就业人数可能是无法找到工作的毕业生的不得已举动
3大一的学生认为满意度比较重要，但大学生活往往使得他们的看法产生变化

The article, though seemingly convincing for its statistics, is weakened largely by its analysis and the conclusion it reaches, feeble. The author advocates that it is because big law firms fail to provide appropriate job satisfaction that graduates choose not to go there. But the way he forgoes his assumption is rather doubtful in the following aspects.

First and foremost, despite the significant fall in large law firms' employment and the growth in the smaller ones, one can never safely conclude that students prefer the smaller firms to the larger. In fact, much more likely it is big law corporates rather than students' dissatisfaction against them that lead to the change. To be precise, the large firms in the city may be cutting staff for its new human resource policy or economic recession it suffers. As a consequent, graduates find it harder to be employed there, thus fewer of them going to work there. Furthermore, the increasing difficulty to seek employment in larger corporates triggers inevitably a climbing number of students choosing to work in smaller ones where it is much easier for them to get the job opportunity. Actually, considering their being turned down by big firms, those less abled graduates have no choice but to work in general practice firms, whether like it or not. Therefore, by no means can the logic correlation established between the change in employment number and the graduates' attitude towards these companies.

Secondly, the survey among freshmen is never strong enough to indicate job satisfaction tops all the law school graduates' list in hunting for a job. Those who surveyed are just beginning their university life, how can one be expected to remain his belief unchanged after four-year study? It is more often than never that students change their views judging a "good" firm or not easily when they are the ones to seek employment. Another flaw, also significant enough to be criticized, lies in the notion of "leading". The result of the survey, conducted merely in a leading school, can not be applied to all in that students in prestigious universities are favored over their counterparts in less well-known schools when it comes to finding a job, which means they are allowed to opt from a range of well-paid companies, when job satisfaction is often referred to for the judgement, while those graduating from ordinary schools are left to struggle to even find one job when only pay has to be the priority. For all that is mentioned above, the auguments of the author is poorly supported and surely more thorough inspection is needed.

To sum up, the author, in all his efforts in citing rich statistics, falls short in his reasoning and casual logic establishment. Were he really to convince large law firms to do what he anticipates in the article, a more careful examination over the industry as a whole and another better-designed survey of a wider range of law school students are a must.

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nieyong
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沙发

发表于 2010-2-22 22:29:02 |只看该作者

The article, though seemingly convincing for its statistics, is weakened largely by its analysis and the conclusion it reaches, feeble.(此处feeble应该去掉吧~) The author advocates that it is because big law firms fail to provide appropriate job satisfaction that graduates choose not to go there（你在这里一开始就漏掉了题目中的一个陷阱：论断没有提供学生对所谓工作满意（job satisfaction）的内容应该包括哪些方面，是不是仅仅是福利激励以及工作时间少，还是还有其它内容，比如工资高、发展机会多、工作环境。如果这样，单纯由题目中的论断并不必然提高工作满意从而吸引学生。此处是一个偷换概念，写的第一段中job satisfaction应该换掉）. But the way he forgoes his assumption is rather doubtful in the following aspects.

First and foremost, despite the significant fall in large law firms' employment and the growth in the smaller ones, one can never safely conclude that students prefer the smaller firms to the larger. In fact, much more likely it is big law corporates rather than students' dissatisfaction against them that lead to the change. To be precise, the large firms in the city may be cutting staff for its new human resource policy or economic recession it suffers. As a consequent, graduates find it harder to be employed there, thus fewer of them going to work there. Furthermore, the increasing difficulty to seek employment in larger corporates（只有单数形式把~） triggers inevitably a climbing number of students choosing to work in smaller ones where it is much easier for them to get the job opportunity. Actually, considering their being turned down by big firms, those less abled（able就是形容词） graduates have no choice but to work in general practice firms, whether like it or not. Therefore, by no means can the logic correlation established between the change in employment number and the graduates' attitude towards these companies.

Secondly, the survey among freshmen is never strong enough to indicate job satisfaction tops all the law school graduates' list in hunting for a job. Those who surveyed are just beginning their university life, how can one be expected to remain his belief unchanged after four-year study? It is more often than never that students change their views judging a "good" firm or not easily when they are the ones to seek employment. Another flaw, also significant enough to be criticized, lies in the notion of "leading". The result of the survey, conducted merely in a leading school, can not be applied to all in that students in prestigious universities are favored over their counterparts in less well-known schools when it comes to finding a job, which means they are allowed to opt from a range of well-paid companies, when job satisfaction is often referred to for the judgement, while those graduating from ordinary schools are left to struggle to even find one job when only pay has to be the priority. For all that is mentioned above, the auguments of the author is poorly supported and surely more thorough inspection is needed.（其实这个调查本身也很可疑： 1.没有说明年份，很多年前的不能说明现在的； 2.调查的地点没有说明，其它地方的调查不能说明Megalopolis的问题。不过这是每个不完整的调查都可以说的问题，不知道你认同否~）

To sum up, the author, in all his efforts in citing rich statistics, falls short in his reasoning and casual logic establishment. Were he really to convince large law firms to do what he anticipates in the article, a more careful examination over the industry as a whole and another better-designed survey of a wider range of law school students are a must.

整体还不错，但找错误的能力还需要提高，建议可以看看啥《作文大讲堂》里面的例子~加油~

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