[经典批改讨论] Issue7 <LOVEAW>第四次作业 [复制链接]

iq28
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电梯直达

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发表于 2007-2-14 13:49:23 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ISSUE7 - "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."
WORDS: 601 TIME: 0:44:30 DATE: 2007-2-14

There is no denying that video camera provides us with more accurate and convincing records than written records due to the development of the technology. However, this is not equal with that written records do not have their situations in today's life. In many cases, both methods of the video camera and written records are indispensable. I will discuss my viewpoint in the following details.

Video camera can provide accurate record of what is happening in a sports game, a debate meeting or even on the field of battle. The vivid records bring the audiences great shock with pictures, movies and sound, which can exactly describe every situation and movement of the present, while written method can hardly supply even one of them only with words. The convenience made by the camera results from technology has changed the daily life of people greatly. Moreover, video camera can always bring us immediate information through a live report, while written words always have to be first directed, and then printed, finally when they reach the hands of people it may be hours or even days after the things have occurred. Who nowadays would like to still be unaware of the results of Rockets v.s Lakers until the newspaper has come while others have already enjoyed the whole game on a TV-set? As for these reasons, Televisions take the place of newspapers or other paper-based medium and become the first choice of people with which they know what is happening around them and around the world.

Also, when it comes to the field of anti-crime, camera usually plays a vital role in providing reliable evidence against crime, which had helped the police and justice a lot. Unlike written materials, records from a video camera cannot lie, they are entirely objective and true, which either of which those characters is needed in the court. The born of video camera even reduce the crime rate for those who are likely to break the law must consider that there may be a video camera hidden in a certain corner that will exactly record what they have done.

However, the advantages owned by the video camera do not necessary mean that written records are of no use. On the contrary, written words, the traditional method of record, are still essential in our daily life. We cannot emphasis the superior of the camera too much, but if there is no camera-set, or the majority of audience are unable to afford a TV-set, just as the case in most part of Africa, the significance of the written methods can be seen.

Even if the equipment is available, the written materials still have their own advantages. The written words are the summary of the writer's thoughts and therefore are usually abstract and terse, direct to the result, which can save the readers a lot of time, especially when they are for the learners and scholars who have high level of understanding in universities or research centers. In the realm of art, words are generally considered as the best way to express the emotion of the masters. The words, unlike the video camera, leave the readers a space to imagine by themselves. It is indirect but not direct that arts pursue, so the written methods are better fit in this field than video camera.

In summary, video camera are accurate, convincing and timely, while written records are terse, abstract, indirect and also have a low requirement of the hardware. To utilize those advantages of them to serve us, we should treat them equally, but not undue emphasis either one of them.

[ 本帖最后由 iq28 于 2007-6-26 02:01 编辑 ]

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沙发

发表于 2007-2-15 00:26:32 |只看该作者

There is no denying(denial) that video camera provides us with more accurate and convincing records than written records due to the development of the(可以去掉) technology. However, this is not equal with(to) that written records do not have their situations in today's life. In many cases, both methods of the video camera and written records are indispensable. I will discuss my viewpoint in the following details.

Video camera can provide accurate record(records) of what is happening in a sports game, a debate meeting or even on the field of battle. The vivid records bring the audiences great shock with pictures, movies and sound, which can exactly describe every situation and movement of the present, while written method(methods) can hardly supply even one of them only with words. The convenience made (brought about) by the camera results(resulting) from technology has changed the daily life of people greatly.(这一具往后面放一点会比较好，或者放在moreover后面，因为前面说改变人们生活说得比较少，这句话作为总结放在这里不太恰当） Moreover, video camera can always bring us immediate information through a live report, while written words always have to be first directed, and then printed, finally when they reach the hands of people it may be hours or even days after the things have occurred. Who nowadays would like to still be unaware of the results of Rockets v.s Lakers until the newspaper has come while others have already enjoyed the whole game on a TV-set? As for these reasons, Televisions take the place of newspapers or other paper-based medium and become the first choice of people with which they know what is happening around them and around the world immediately.

Also, when it comes to the field of anti-crime, camera usually plays a vital role in providing reliable evidence against crime, which had(has) helped the police and justice a lot. Unlike written materials, records from a video camera cannot lie, they are entirely objective and true, which either of which those characters is needed in the court.( with the characters of objectivity and authenticy, either of which is needed in the court后面那句which either of which those characters is needed in the court有严重的语法错误,第一个which是多打了八，第二个which，后面是不能够接完整的句子的) The born of video camera even reduce the crime rate for those who are likely to break the law must consider that there may be a video camera hidden in a certain corner that（which前面用了换一换) will exactly record what they have done.

However, the advantages owned by the video camera do not necessary mean that written records are of no use. On the contrary, written words, the traditional method of record, are still essential in our daily life. We cannot emphasis the superior of the camera too much, but(in that转折在这里不太对) if there is no camera-set, or the majority of audience are unable to afford a TV-set, just as the case in most part of Africa, the significance of the written methods can be seen.

Even if the equipment is available, the written materials still have their own advantages. The written words are the summary of the writer's thoughts and therefore are usually abstract and terse, direct to the result, which can save the readers a lot of time, especially when they are for the learners and scholars who have high level of understanding in universities or research centers（后面这个in 这块有点怪，). In the realm of art, words are generally considered as the best way to express the emotion of the masters. The words, unlike the video camera, leave the readers a space to imagine by themselves. It is indirect but not direct that arts pursue,(?) so the written methods are better fit in this field than video camera.

In summary, video camera are accurate, convincing and timely, while written records are terse, abstract, indirect and also have a low requirement of the hardware. To utilize those advantages of them to serve us, we should treat them equally, but not(这里不是转折吧，改为without可能好一点） undue emphasis at either one of them.

论证思路很清楚，有新意，且深度也不错。语言虽然不华丽，但是很简洁，
一个小小的意见，不知道是限时的原因还是什么，要多注意语法问题

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