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[经典批改讨论] ISSUE180 -- 还两天了。。。帮忙。。。。谢谢！！！ [复制链接]

JohneyWood
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2007-3-25 21:11:28 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

JohneyWood

TOPIC: ISSUE180 - "Many problems of modern society cannot be solved by laws and the legal system because moral behavior cannot be legislated."
WORDS: 753       TIME: 欢迎Johney 0:45:00       DATE: 2007-3-25

思路：
1、  法律的重要性
2、  然而当牵扯到道德问题，法律就很难解决，如安乐死、同性恋婚姻和克隆技术
3、  法律不能加入道德因素，而不考虑道德仅仅考虑法律很可能会犯错
4、  道德教会人们价值观，让人们知道对错，而法律仅仅是施加压力。因此有的事情法律做不到，比如说让人们了解错误而不在犯罪

The proposition asserts that the laws and the legal system cannot resolve many problems problem of the modern society since moral behavior cannot be legislated. In my point of view, I fundamentally agree with the speaker, as discussed below.

First of all, I concede that the laws and the legal system are essential to the modern society and they can resolve many problems. Common sense tells us that everyone has his own position and behavior, depending on their beliefs, experiences, knowledge, professions and emotional concern. However, we cannot simply let everyone do everything that he or she wants, since this will lead to mess and may harm the stability of the society. Thus, the government has to announce the laws and build a just legal system to restrict the citizens. Only by doing this, can the society get to a balance and harmonious status? For instance, the industrial factories want to expel the polluted water into the river without making it clean. If there is not a law or a legal system to restrict the factories from expelling the polluted water, the poisoned water may get into the river, even the sea. This will be really harmful. It may firstly kill the animals living in the river, it may also further harm the human beings if they have drunk the water or eaten the polluted fish. It may bring damage to the environment as well. Considering this, we have to establish laws to prevent the factories from expelling polluted water and other detriments. From this case, we can see how important laws and legal systems are.

However, we have to admit that the laws and the legal systems cannot resolve many problems in the modern society as well, such as the usage of euthanasia, the homosexual marriage. When the Watson and Crick found the double-helix structure of the gene and the scientists further found the way to clone. It brings many social problems that the laws and legal systems cannot resolve. Should the scientists clone human beings? If yes, then what is the relationship between the two? Do the cloned people have the same right with the other human being or even whether they are human beings or not? Though the legal systems in many countries ban the scientists from cloning people, some scientists still do this secretly. All these questions cannot simply be resolved by the laws as it is related to the morality.

Additionally, the laws can not involve the moral behavior. If the laws consider the moral behaviors too much, it will lose justice. Nevertheless, only considering the laws without morals may cause mistake. For instance, in India, their law is statutes given by the government and the judge can only his judges on the bases of the existing laws. Once, a mother in India killed her son, who is a murderer and did lots of bad things. The police in India tried to catch him for years without any result. He committed so many crimes that even death cannot atone for the offence. His mother knows that her son will kill many more people if she does not kill him. Thus, when her son came back to see her one day, she killed him with the poison. In this case, to kill the mother is probably not the best choice, since this may make people think that being just is wrong. But according to the present law, the judger had to sentenced the mother to death, and this brought a widely debate thought out the country.

Further, only the morality can make people to understand what is right and what is wrong, and to restrict people with morality will be a good way. Under the pressure of laws and legal systems, many people just do the bad thing secretly because they do not know that they are wrong. And many people may even think that the laws are wrong and disobey or even resist the law. They may commit crimes again after they are punished. Only when a people have known the morality and find the right measurement to distinguish right and wrong, they can find their mistakes and become a better person. A statistics involving many prisons in China find that the prisoners who learn morality and know their mistakes have a much lower rate of committing crime again.

In the final analysis, we can see that the laws and legal system cannot resolve all the problems in the society and therefore we should agree with the author.

[ 本帖最后由 iq28 于 2007-6-26 04:09 编辑 ]

如果忘了，要忘记~
那么，就选择回忆~

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JohneyWood
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沙发

发表于 2007-3-25 21:55:24 |只看该作者

自己顶一下

如果忘了，要忘记~
那么，就选择回忆~

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JohneyWood
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板凳

发表于 2007-3-25 21:56:04 |只看该作者

自己顶一下

如果忘了，要忘记~
那么，就选择回忆~

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jswpc
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地板

发表于 2007-3-25 22:05:59 |只看该作者

753字限时楼主比较猛帮顶

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expire7
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5楼

发表于 2007-3-25 22:25:05 |只看该作者

excellent job。不错的习作。基本无什么毛病。
个人觉得思路和逻辑之间的过渡需要更加流畅。此外应考足够了。加油。别担心

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iq28
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6楼

发表于 2007-3-25 22:43:41 |只看该作者

不改
请看占楼规则
上次我改过的习作如果自己不再加修改的话下次是没有修改资格的

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JohneyWood
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7楼

发表于 2007-3-25 23:11:56 |只看该作者

sorry,会再改过！

如果忘了，要忘记~
那么，就选择回忆~

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nocturne05
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8楼

发表于 2007-3-26 13:44:08 |只看该作者

753字限时楼主比较猛
觉得个别的词用得太重复了
还有一些地方，感觉有点问题
写的还好！！

Where is my Dream?

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iq28
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9楼

发表于 2007-3-26 21:55:17 |只看该作者

看完了
跟首席感觉差不多
短时间内不能够解决的问题比如用了很多的简单词
就不提了

思路上面我再说一个建议
这题你是采取了保留性质的支持
那么最好在开头就先写为什么支持
而不是先concede或者admittedly
时间不比较难把握好
尤其在考场上
容易把反对的或者去平衡的观念写的太长
支持的观念写的反而少了

你这篇文章思路上没太大问题
就是第一个body有点长
比后面任何一个body都要长
而且还放在第一段
可能不是太好

个人建议
看看就可以了
因为毕竟还有一天就要考了
而且你文章已经比较成熟
这个建议看看就可以
加油
保持状态就ok

[ 本帖最后由 iq28 于 2007-3-26 21:56 编辑 ]

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