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angeikim
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电梯直达

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发表于 2003-1-14 10:14:01 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

158The arts (music, dance, visual arts, etc.) are vitally important to students' education and should therefore receive as much emphasis as mathematics, science, reading and other mainstream subjects."

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angeikim
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沙发

发表于 2003-1-14 10:17:21 |只看该作者

这个题目是和昨天的题目有异曲同工之处, 都将侧重点放在了art的作用，对教育的意义，对社会的意义，对个人的意义。
可以从这个方面来分析.
欢迎跟贴.

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gteryy
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板凳

发表于 2003-1-15 04:34:33 |只看该作者

angeikim头像换得不歇火。。。来来，衣服过会儿再换了，先向我开炮吧！

We've noticed that the regard of art culture is looming so large in the modern world, more and more children are trained to play instruments or dance ballet when they were little kids. Obviously, this is because the parents have realized that arts like music, dance are vitally important to student's education. Therefore, I agree with the idea that arts should receive as much emphasis as mathematics, science, reading and other mainstream subjects.

First of all, we always cannot tell material and spirit which is more important, because they are equally important as two interdependent matters. Say, if the students do not learn mathematics or science, there will be no engineers to build buildings in which we live or work; however, if the students do learn much mathematics and science but no art course, how could they design beautiful buildings which bring us good mood and nice environment? Thus, I will say, art are not merely spiritual matter, but it relates much to our everyday life.

Secondly, art itself needs inspiration, so art in its turn can light up the inspiration in the students. I remember when I was in high school, I am always obfuscated by the mathematic problems which usually made me annoyed, then I would listen to some music, like the No.1 piano concerto of Tschaikovsky. Later, when I looked back on the problems, I found it so easy to solve in certain way. And one of my friends who is an environment major, once told me excitedly that she knew how to design a perfect drainage system of a project which bothered her several days, after seeing a picture show. So art is important for learning science or other subject.

Thirdly, art help students with different culture background to communicate. As the whole world is becoming a big family, a school may have students from far and near. Since they don’t have same language or customs, it is difficult for them to communicate, but art can. Art has no national boundaries, cause what art passes is beauty, which no people in any corner of the earth will reject. We know that great music, great paintings were admired everywhere by different people. And students of different nationality will probably become good friends after a ball.

Nevertheless, art education should be emphasized rather than forced. No matter in what kind of study, interest is more important, especially art. A child who is forced to learn violin will never be a good violinist. What educators should do is emphasize the importance and enlighten the interests in students, to educate the students to be balanced-developed people.

ＢＡＣＫ

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angeikim
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地板

发表于 2003-1-15 23:13:13 |只看该作者

我就是喜欢换,怎么样? 不服来练练....吃功?

首先: 你写的越来越有条理了,不错.
但是要注意一些非常小的问题: 比如时态的一致, 逗号的用法,等, 给你举出一个, 如下:

最初由 gteryy 发表
[B]is emphasize the importance [/B]

别骂我呦.:)
还有就是第三个段落, 主题句是不是应该修改一下? 艺术本身需要鼓励,启发，灵感? 还是艺术本身有鼓励的作用或者赋予灵感? 你的段落里面的例子以及结论明明写的是艺术有启发灵感的作用, 所以, 我想, 是不是...:)

最初由 gteryy 发表
[B] Secondly, art itself needs inspiration, so art in its turn can light up the inspiration in the students. I remember when I was in high school, I am always obfuscated by the mathematic problems which usually made me annoyed, then I would listen to some music, like the No.1 piano concerto of Tschaikovsky. Later, when I looked back on the problems, I found it so easy to solve in certain way. And one of my friends who is an environment major, once told me excitedly that she knew how to design a perfect drainage system of a project which bothered her several days, after seeing a picture show. So art is important for learning science or other subject.
[/B]

总的来说, 不错, 5 分左右? :p

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beckyyee
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5楼

发表于 2003-1-16 19:43:58 |只看该作者

不错不错~~我给5分哦~

life is just like a game. The problem is that it's not how you play the game, it's how the game plays you.

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beckyyee
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6楼

发表于 2003-1-20 00:43:32 |只看该作者

呵呵，那我就不客气了哦~~

首先，字数不够吧。一篇好的ISSUE一般是要上500字的。

然后我觉得有些表达不太好，特别是第一段的主题句一定要写好，写清楚。你的主题句是But all of these far from the effect of mainstream subjects do.So I did not agree with the idea that students' education should receive as much emphasis as mathematics, science, reading and other mainstream subjects你看，but all these far from the effect of.....就没表达对，严重的语法错误，主题句没写好很容易影响分数的。可以改为，however, the effect of the art is much lighter compared with that of the science.当然还有很多其他的表达方式都能正确清楚的表达你的意思。

还有我觉得第二个论点提的不好，没什么说服力，一个人的精力的限度和art,science孰重孰轻好象没多大关系吧。

结尾不好！结尾一定要重复你的观点，但你只是从反面反驳了一下，而且还提出了一个新的观点：if they like,arts education would creat a more colorful life to the students，很忌讳的，真的不好。如果觉得没说的，直接把你的观点再重复一次。如：in general ,i do think the science is more significant than the art....etc.都比你那样说要好的多。

开头结尾一定要好好再琢磨一下，很关键的。

+U+U~~我批判的这么彻底，不要生气啊呵呵~~

life is just like a game. The problem is that it's not how you play the game, it's how the game plays you.

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