Michelle薇若谰的作文贴---Daily Writing

lv1015UID: 2505136

从3/13开始，每天坚持，直到考试4/23！！加油加油，没有最好，只有更好！:shutup:

xiangtuoUID: 3047550

With the advent of the diverse entertainments, various kinds of movies and TV programs are bombarding our young generation. Today children are bewildered from how to kill the time to what to be done to make their time killed(和前半句意思一样？). As parents, some argue that if a child wants to do well in school, they should undoubtedly limit the time of watching TV programs and movies（argue that后面是从句吧 但是主句不完整啊，还有，句子的主语应该是parents吧）. Others do not agree with it for they deem that TV could provide certain knowledge and joy for the children. However, I will side with the former for a couple of reasons. 7 }0 [8 L0 d7 z9 U. p. T0 ~4 D


To begin with, the process of watching TV is a passive way of receiving information, so children cannot develop positive thinking and critical thinking ability. In the meantime, children are not able to control themselves and they will unconsciously spend far more time in front of it. It is reported those children who spend long time in front of the TV set and movie have a higher ratio of obesity and shortsightedness. What’s worse, they are likely to be autistic and less capable of communication. The additional time to watch TV should be distributed/spent/allocated（…去掉…）on more meaningful things such as cultivating a hobby of reading, singing, dancing, sporting, or playing a music instrument. Sporting enhance health.（这句有点突兀） If doing well in positive hobbies like dancing and playing instruments, the children could more easily build confidence and perseverance.  

Moreover, the quality of the TV programs has gone worse than before. Programs and movies which are detrimental to children spring out one after another. Programs like violence, pornography, and soap opera are often seen on TV and movie theatre. However, the children lack proper judgment on these programs, thus it is hard for them to tell right from wrong. Therefore they will be easily influenced by the negative content of the media. What’s worse, they will even form bad habits from imitating the characters in the TV serials and movies. Take my nephew as an example. He is big fan of Hong Kong TV serial “Young and Dangerous” which depicts stories of juvenile gang group. He feels that it is so cool to be a leader of a team and suppress others by violence. Nevertheless, this is a misconception but popular among many adolescents of his age. Under such circumstance, for parents, of course, it is right time to offer certain guidance and restriction to the immature kids instead of leaving them to the easy “TV babysitters”. / ?' }9 J* _+ d& D  X0 }
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To conclude, if a child want to do well in the school, parents certainly should limit the TV and movie time for too much of which will do harm to the child’s both physical and mental health.
逻辑很完整，用词很用心 真的不错！
小小的建议，文章结尾处提到了生理和心理，这两个方面很完整，很好，为什么不能再两个分论点中提到呢？就是在开头句，首先在生理方面。。。然后再心理方面。。。这样显得文章更有逻辑！

hcp4715UID: 2697633

6.7号独立作文修改

lv1015UID: 2505136

Agree or disagree? If child want to do well in school, parents should limit the hours of watching TV programs or movies. (Should school child be limited on the hours of watching TV program and movie?)

With the advent of the diverse entertainments, various kinds of movies and TV programs are bombarding our young generation. Today children are bewildered from how to kill the time to what to be done to make their time killed. As parents, some argue that if a child wants to do well in school, they should undoubtedly limit the time of watching TV programs and movies. Others do not agree with it for they deem that TV could provide certain knowledge and joy for the children. However, I will side with the former for a couple of reasons.

To begin with, the process of watching TV is a passive way of receiving information, so children cannot develop positive thinking and critical thinking ability. In the meantime, children are not able to control themselves and they will unconsciously spend far more time in front of it. It is reported those children who spend long time in front of the TV set and movie have a higher ratio of obesity and shortsightedness. What’s worse, they are likely to be autistic and less capable of communication. The additional time to watch TV should be distributed/spent/allocated on more meaningful things such as cultivating a hobby of reading, singing, dancing, sporting, or playing a music instrument. Sporting enhance health. If doing well in positive hobbies like dancing and playing instruments, the children could more easily build confidence and perseverance.  

Moreover, the quality of the TV programs has gone worse than before. Programs and movies which are detrimental to children spring out one after another. Programs like violence, pornography, and soap opera are often seen on TV and movie theatre. However, the children lack proper judgment on these programs, thus it is hard for them to tell right from wrong. Therefore they will be easily influenced by the negative content of the media. What’s worse, they will even form bad habits from imitating the characters in the TV serials and movies. Take my nephew as an example. He is big fan of Hong Kong TV serial “Young and Dangerous” which depicts stories of juvenile gang group. He feels that is so cool to be ahead of team and suppress others by violence. Nevertheless, this is a misconception but popular among many adolescents of his age. Under such circumstance, for parents, of course, it is right time to offer certain guidance and restriction to the immature kids instead of leaving them to the easy “TV babysitters”.

To conclude, if a child want to do well in the school, parents certainly should limit the TV and movie time for too much of which will do harm to the child’s both physical and mental health.

lisa_CUID: 2678347

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------527独立修改-by lisa_C--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

5.27Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only movies that can teach us something about real life worth watching;

Nowadays, due to the booming movie industry and promotion of every kind of entertainment marketing, we audiences are bombarded with choices of relaxation. Some argue that we should only watch movies that can teach us something about real life. However, others do not agree with it. I will side with the latter group because there are more excellent movies other than real life movie(这样的名词替换不知道是否妥当，感觉有点偏义）worth our appreciation. After all, a wonderful meal is made up of not only rice, but also delicious appetizer and dessert. Movies should be likewise to us. （以类比提出自己的观点，很赞，学习^_^）
To begin with, not only the real life oriented movies such as documentaries are worth watching. Indeed a number of marvelous movies genres according to different circumstances are offered to audiences to choose from. For instance, when you feel upset and want to temporarily escape from the disappointing reality, movies whether the old series of Charlie Chaplin’s comedy or the modern Mr. Bean are not bad choices. They will undoubtedly make you burst to laughter right away and you successfully left your annoying trivial matters. So under such circumstance, movies of comedies provide us better ways of relaxation.


Moreover, movies about art and music are worth watching and they do play a large part in our choices. Although they do not teach us a single thing about real life, they invariably bring us marvelous artistic enjoyment and inspiration. For example, the classic movie “Sound of Music” --- been played over and over again---is still well received by the mass people including professional musician and amateurs. The theme songs in this movie have become widespread for decades. （分论点2的事例1）Another example is this year’s golden globe winner film “the black swan”（这里电影名首字母大写比较好？）which blow up a ballet whirlwind across the globe actually. （分论点2的事例2）So the artistic value of these movies certainly deserves our attention.



In addition, three dimensional techniques are widely applied on movies of science fiction, cartoon and magic happy potter stories. The “Avatar” “toy story” and our favorite Harry Potter series all give us unique experiences of HD visual perception, and make us part of the movie itself. Nevertheless（Nevertheless作为连接词用在句首，后面要加逗号吧？不能直接跟上句子）mud is mud;(分号修改成逗号为好？) they have little to do the real life learning. On the contrary, they create unreal atmosphere around that we feel highly stimulated. Moreover we are prone to pursue this kind of freshness and excitement. Besides, the chances are scientists can be inspired to figure out something toward the future.



To conclude, it is not only movies that can teach us something about real life are worth watching; movies of comedy, art, music; （符号，逗号吧？）science fiction and cartoon are also worth watching.


总体感觉写得蛮不错的。
1.观点明确，首段末段都直接表明了个人观点，第一段末的类比不错。
2.结构清晰，论证以”除movies that can teach us something about real life worth watching外的其他类型的电影也值得看“为基点展开，根据”其他电影“的不同各类型进行分论，事例很详实。
3.整篇短语运用得比较得心应手。


只存在一些小问题
1.Nevertheless这样的连接词用在句首没记错的话是要加逗号的吧？
2.是标点上的小问题，猜想是在WORD里完成的，是不是被WORD自动改了。
3.句式可以争取多变些。


挺不错的，学习了，^_^
如果有说得不对的地方，见谅

lv1015UID: 2505136

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only movies that can teach us something about real life worth watching
  Nowadays, due to the booming movie industry and promotion of every kind of entertainment marketing, we audiences are bombarded with choices of relaxation. Some argue that we should only watch movies that can teach us something about real life. However, others do not agree with it. I will side with the latter group because there are more excellent movies other than real life movie worth our appreciation. After all, a wonderful meal is made up of not only rice, but also delicious appetizer and dessert. Movies should be likewise to us.
  To begin with, not only the real life oriented movies such as documentaries are worth watching. Indeed a number of marvelous movies genres according to different circumstances are offered to audiences to choose from. For instance, when you feel upset and want to temporarily escape from the disappointing reality, movies whether the old series of Charlie Chaplin’s comedy or the modern Mr. Bean are not bad choices. They will undoubtedly make you burst to laughter right away and you successfully left your annoying trivial matters. So under such circumstance, movies of comedies provide us better ways of relaxation.
  Moreover, movies about art and music are worth watching and they do play a large part in our choices. Although they do not teach us a single thing about real life, they invariably bring us marvelous artistic enjoyment and inspiration. For example, the classic movie “Sound of Music” --- been played over and over again---is still well received by the mass people including professional musician and amateurs. The theme songs in this movie have become widespread for decades. Another example is this year’s golden globe winner film “the black swan” which blow up a ballet whirlwind across the globe actually. So the artistic value of these movies certainly deserves our attention.  
  In addition, three dimensional techniques are widely applied on movies of science fiction, cartoon and magic happy potter stories. The “Avatar” “toy story” and our favorite Harry Potter series all give us unique experiences of HD visual perception, and make us part of the movie itself. Nevertheless mud is mud; they have little to do the real life learning. On the contrary, they create unreal atmosphere around that we feel highly stimulated. Moreover we are prone to pursue this kind of freshness and excitement. Besides, the chances are scientists can be inspired to figure out something toward the future.
  To conclude, it is not only movies that can teach us something about real life are worth watching; movies of comedy, art, music; science fiction and cartoon are also worth watching.

lv1015UID: 2505136

   The lecture apparently refutes the points from the reading passage. According to the reading, many critics would like to ban the buzzing due to its bad influence on people. On the contrary, the lecturer contends an opposite stand towards it because he thinks it has positive effects on consumers' buying behavior.6 B7 {1 t3 A, Y6 w+ x  
   To begin with, the reading material raises that the buzzing is paid advertisement which may give us misleading information about the products promoted. However, to respond this idea, the speaker quoted his own example of being a buzzer. It proved that the company would only hire people who have used the products and feel good about the product. According to the speaker, buzzers offer truth of products to the customers. Thus the message delivered by the buzzers is true rather than misleading.
   Besides, the reading material states that the buzzers' pretending to be private individuals will lead to the consumers' less critical judgment of the products. Co
ntradictory to the point above, the lecture emphasizes that when buzzers go promoting the products; the recipients will ask questions about the products specifically such as price, service and length of the speaker’s use of the product. Hence, the buzzer must give corresponding answers to them; otherwise,the customers will not buy the products at last. Hence it can not benefit the manufacturers.
    Finally,from the reading passage, the worst effect of buzzing is on the social relationships. Customers will less trust people along with them. Nevertheless, the lecture says if the products are not good the company will not hire buzzers. Besides the message that the buzzer imparts is along with sincerity and openness. Customers who tried the buzzed products would have good experiences so they will be more trustful and more open to people. , {- K! Y$ t. N
   To sum up, the lecturer disagrees with the points of the reading passage and he disputed the reading material from every aspect.
38# snowlaura

凉言UID: 2996787

不好意思啊。。。晚了><

das_postkarteUID: 3012913

416批改~~:loveliness:

snowlauraUID: 2872328

:loveliness:

lv1015UID: 2505136

4.16综合 TPO19
    The lecture apparently refutes the points from the reading passage. According to the reading, many critics would like to ban the buzzing due to its bad influence on people. On the contrary, the lecturer contends an opposite stand towards it because he thinks it has positive effects on consumers' buying behavior.
    To begin with, the reading material raises that the buzzing is paid advertisement which may give us misleading information about the products promoted. However, to respond this idea, the speaker quoted his own example of being a buzzer. It proved that the company would only hire people who have used the products and feel good about the product. Thus the message delivered is not misleading from the buzzer.
    Besides, the reading material states that the buzzers' pretending to be private individuals will leading to the consumers' less critical judgment of the products. Contradictory to the point above, the lecture emphasizes that when buzzers go promoting the products; the recipients will ask questions about the products specifically. Hence, if the buzzer will answer them correctly, otherwise, the customers will not buy the products finally. Hence it can not benefit the manufacturers.
    Lately, from the reading passage, the worst effect of buzzing is on the social relationships. Customers will less trust people along with them. Nevertheless, the lecture says the message that the buzzer imparted is along with sincerity and openness. Therefore, they should not be given mistrust.
    To sum up, the reading passage is disputed by the lecture from every aspect. The lecture disagrees with the points made in the reading material.

lv1015UID: 2505136

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the loss of old friends?

    Currently, due to more opportunities open to us, the pursuit of further education, and the promotion of career, we travel to a new city or even a new country more frequently than previously. Some believe that it is not good thing because of losing old friends, whereas I deem it as normal and natural because we will not lose a single friend but rather gain more friends experiences and resources.
    To begin with, moving to a new place will not cause the loss of old friends thanks to the convenient and cheap communication tools by which a friend is just a phone call away. Besides the way of telecommunication, internet is also a way that is both cheap and fast. For instance, many of my friends now studying overseas, mainly United States, often chat with me through Skype, MSN and cyber community Facebook. Thus, the long distance can hardly inhibit our conversation but rather bring me surprises sometimes. They share with me their study and life anecdotes abroad, and I always tell them my latest news at home. Usually they give suggestions which are so helpful that I even feel they are just right there beside me.
    Moreover, to move to a new city or new country could bring us more friends, experiences, and resources. Again, take me as an example; I am from Sichuan province--southwestern China, and I came to Guangzhou for career two years ago when I graduated from college,. Here I met a number of new friends who are nice to me. I am so grateful because they are the family at the new city of Guangzhou. Without their help I could not well adapt to the new environment. Besides, the reason I chose Guangzhou as the place where I work owes to its openness and availability of job opportunities. Actually, through the two years effort, I do accumulate much precious working experience which provides me with the base for future development. If I was still in my hometown where relatively fall behind the economic trend of present time, my profession probably have been limited in survival of life, no to mention development.
    In a word, I do not agree that it is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the loss of old friends. Because friendship will never fade as we separate from each other，and we can explore more friends, experience，and resources in the new place.

lv1015UID: 2505136

谢谢你哦，很中肯的意见，加油 34# 凉言

凉言UID: 2996787

不好意思，改的比较仓促~

lv1015UID: 2505136

来晚了，抱歉
题目：The best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries

    Some argue that the best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers’ salaries whereas other people contend an opposite stand that the improvement in quality of education can not be achieved by one single aspect of effort. I am for the latter side. There are several reasons below to illustrate it.
    First and foremost, to increase teachers’ salaries would not necessarily lead to the improvement of education because the increase in salaries is not based on the quality of teachers’ work. If everyone’s salary is increased on average, on the one hand, teachers who have done better job would feel unfairly treated for they certainly deserve better award or incentive than less excellent teachers. On the other hand, the less excellent teachers of course would be pleased because no matter what they teach and how they teach the students their income finally would be raised. Therefore, why do they need to improve the quality of teaching? Just let it be. From the above situation, there is no doubt that the best way to improve quality of education should not be an increase of teachers’ salaries.
    Also, it is reported that in an Arab country of Middle East, administration of the education strongly wished to recruit prestigious professors from universities of the United States with promise of twice even triple salary in order to enhance their higher education. Nevertheless not any professors gave up their positions at American universities to bigger money in Arabian universities. As a result, the Arabian dream of creating a group of excellent universities in their own countries was broke finally. Hence, a raise in salary could not give birth to betterment of education directly.
    Last but not least, only when we focus the budget evenly on both hard ware and soft ware could we improve education quality. Students need not only the illuminating teachers but also comprehensive equipments of teaching facilities such as multifunctional classrooms, playground for recreation after school, libraries with abundant books of various genres and laboratories for experiment. For example, when I was in primary school of a small town, there was no chance for me read many books due to deficiency of libraries. Consequently, I knew much less out-classroom knowledge than my peers who have more access to books in the big city. However, when I got enrolled in a bigger and better secondary school of the city, I found that city schools had so much more resources than those country schools, so the more opportunities to acquire better education.
To sum up, to increase teachers’ salaries is not the best way to improve the quality of education.