【Daily Writing作文特训小组】Jack的作文贴，求监督求指导~

jackchen823UID：2767008

7.23独立

人们应该坚持自己有挑战性的梦想还是注重实现现实的梦想? （小马机经）

I was amazed when I heard people saying they may focus on dream which is more practical than those challenging ones. Admittedly, the more practical our dreams are, the easier we can make it come true. But what do we dream for? For something that can be easily achieved or for what is really worthy of our endless effort? So, my point of view is that one should surely pay more attention to those challenging dreams.

First of all, only by having more challenging dream can one really make a great difference in the future. Let's take Bill Gates for an example. Gates dropped out of Harvard in the second year to start his own business. At that time, to build the largest personal computer company in the world is a really challenging dream for him. But if Bill Gates focuses on the more practical dream in his life like successfully accomplish his study in Harvard, Microsoft might not be found, and Gates may not become so successful as to become the richest man in the world.

Moreover, even if one cannot make a big difference as Bill Gates did, I believe challenge and pressure can bring out the best in them. One of my classmates in my high school did not perform well in the exam during his junior year. But he really believed in himself and dreaming of become a top students. At first, nobody think he can do that, but he just stick to his goal and make great effort to catch up with his classmates. And, fortunately, he made a great improvement in the senior year, and ranked top 5 in our class. If he just choose to have practical dream, it is impossible for him to improve so quickly.

However, I do not want to mean one should believe in more challenging dreams whatever it is. First of all, the challenging cannot do harm to others. One should not take the challenging task as murder the president or robber the bank as his dream. Secondly, his dream cannot be unrealistic. One should never dream of flying like birds in the sky without the help of facility or living under water like fish. That is to say, our challenging dream should not harm others and should be accessible at the same time.

To conclude, I strongly believe that one should focus on more challenging dream in order to be stimulated by it and exert utmost to make a difference. However, it does not mean one should set up unrealistic dream or dream of harm others.

JeniusUID：2964631

wendychuengUID：2811319

改好了~ 是我们俩一组吧

after90sundaeUID：3132327

For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?

I am always amazed（惊讶用amaze，楼主是想讽刺吗，amaze应该是被很好的东西惊讶到了） when I hear people saying that government should focus its budget more on university rather than on children’s education. It seems that the investment on university(额，university要不要复数啊) will bring higher return, since a lot of researches are really beneficial to the development of human being. However, from my perspective, education on children actually needs more support from （the） government.

To begin with, as is known to us all, primary education is the foundation of higher education. Few of individuals would be successful when they grow up if they do not receive good education when they are young. In fact, most of those who are unemployed in our country are uneducated. In other words, if one does not go to school when he is young, he is not likely to master a good skill, and the chance for him to get a good job is quite limited. That is to say, in order to solve the unemployment problem in our country, our country should first concentrate on primary education.

Another point I would like to mention is that university（复数） are not in desperate need of support from government as primary schools do. As we all known, universities always receive donation from alumnus. And for those famous universities, they receive donation from thousands of people every year and feel no need to rely on the budget from government. But when it comes to primary schools, the situation is totally different, because few of wealthy man are willing to donate to a primary school. Most of them attribute their success to the education they receive from university.

Nevertheless, I do not mean that government should not put budget on university education because some universities which might not be so famous are also in need of support from government. For these universities, in order to employ good faculties, to update their facilities occasionally to meet the demand from students, they also need the help from government.

To conclude, from my perspective, （the） government should focus its budget mainly on primary education than higher education for the reason that the education for （the） young plays a more crucial role in solving the basic problems in society. Also, universities have better chance to receive support from society than primary school（s）.
整体条理很清晰

zhangzbuptUID：3138243

11# jackchen823

07.26 独立作文修改。
由于我的积分太少，现在还不能上传附件。不知道该怎么回复你? 直接上传文本还是等到有权限后再发给你。
不过我除了发现少量的几个语法问题外，基本上没有什么改动。

羊小咩89UID：2848665

7,26的那篇跟你不一样的，等写到那再说吧
话说还是跟大家同步一点，方便批改^_^

wilsonchen2011UID：3137568

不用谢。我也学到了很多固定搭配和用法。我8.21是去香港考的，呵呵！

jackchen823UID：2767008

18# wilsonchen2011
呵呵  相互的 你帮我修改的这么认真还真是要感谢你啊！
ps：我也8.21，也在广州，一起加油

wilsonchen2011UID：3137568

谢谢你改得那么认真！也在这里做个回应吧：
1. 确实那个维护治安应该是maintain public order，我稀里糊涂想不到就写了keep public security……
2. compelling和compellent意思应该是不同的，compelling有引人注目的意思，compellent一般是强制性的意思。说实在我也没怎么区别这两个词
3. Lose effort确实当时表达得不对，应该是have all the money confiscated and all the effort ruined.
4. Urban Cohort专指中国的城管大队……哈哈，这是新词，中国在向西方出口社会主义价值观。
5. thought as the evidence of domestic violence那句是指爷爷给孙子拔火罐被当作是家庭暴力的证据.

jackchen823UID：2767008

7.27 独立+综合

wendy316UID：2566643

26日独立，写的蛮好的，学习了。

wilsonchen2011UID：3137568

应该是TPO14，他没写这个。

wilsonchen2011UID：3137568

我帮你改好了，不同颜色的字代表不同的批改模式，希望对你有帮助。