【NINE小组】第五次作业—by oyxj1551

oyxj1551UID: 3150888

Argument 132
The recommendationthat students in Centerville High School should take the effective andmandatory driving course sponsored by school in order to reduce the rate ofaccidents is seemingly logical: it is common sense that lacking of drivingknowledge and skills give rise to the frequency of accidents. Nevertheless, theargument is unpersuasive unless the author of letter can give definite answersto several critical questions as follows.

To begin with, itis unfair to conclude that students should be required to take the driver'seducation course at school based on the recent accidents involving teenagedrivers. Perhaps the teenagers hurt or killed in accidents are not from highschool. Chances are they are just bad boys hanging out in their cars. Eventhough some of young are from high school, the rate should be low. We know thatthere may be limited high school students who can drive car as there is strictlaw to restrict teenagers to drive. On that account, the cost of course may behigh while effort will be in vain. Each scenario, if true, would undermine theauthor's recommendation.

Secondly, we arenot informed of the specific number or the rate of the parents who are too busyto teach their children to drive or can’t afford the driving school. Hence, themere fact that some parents are complaining lends little support to therecommendation. In absence of such specific rate, it is entirely possible thatthe rate is extremely low. In that case, the author cannot justify hisrecommendation and the driving course could be worthless.

Finally, theargument assumes too hastily that an effective and mandatory program sponsoredby the high school is the only solution to this serious problem. Other feasiblemethods such as more strict control, more effective publicity campaigns may alsobe applied to achieve the same aim. Moreover, even if the course is needed toprevent teenagers from accidents, it alone may not be sufficient to solve theproblem: the interaction among student, school and parent may proveindispensable to the ultimate resolution of accidents. Without ruling out thesepossibilities, the author's recommendation remains dubious at best.

In brief, preventteenagers from accident is the duty of whole society. It is no doubt that thedriving course could reduce the accident. However, the author’s argument is notlikely to persuade the Centerville High School to offer the relevant courseunless all of the above-mentioned assumptions are conclusively substantiated.

oyxj1551UID: 3150888

7# 0oofay 去wikipedia上考证了一下，莫扎特的晚年确实是贫穷的，他找人借钱，同时还要忍受疾病的困扰。不过在最后一年（1791）的时候，他的经济状况有些好转，因为他得到了一些资助，同时也靠卖舞曲来获得金钱。不过从他的葬礼来看，他最后是应该是poor and blank。Mozart's last year was, until his final illness struck, a time of great productivity—and by some accounts a time of personal recovery.至于前面小时候音乐资质的显露和巡回演出应该是没有问题的。不知道Ooofay还有什么疑问？或是有过更深入的研究，请指教~

0oofayUID: 2835121

For example, Mozart has shown up his outstanding talentfor music since three.
After discoveringthat, his father took him to different parts of the country to give a touringperformance, which had a big impact on his music career. At the end of hislife, though enduring the poor and blank, he is so hard writing music optimistically.Honestly, the success of Mozart depends on the synergy of internal talent, propercultivation and efforts of his own.

Is this real?

oyxj1551UID: 3150888

The recommendation that students in Centerville High School should take the effective and mandatory driving course sponsored by school in order to reduce the rate of accidents is seemingly logical: it is common sense that lacking of driving knowledge and skills give rise to the frequency of accidents. Nevertheless, the argument is rife with holes and assumptions, and thus, not strong enough to lead to opening course.
To begin with, it is unfair to conclude that students should be required to take the driver's education course at school based on the recent accidents involving teenage drivers. Perhaps the teenagers hurt or killed in accidents are not from high school. Chances are they are just bad boys hanging out in their cars. Even though some of young are from high school, the rate should be low. As the phenomenon accords with my observation that many teenagers do not plan to drive when they are in high school. On that account, the cost of course may be high while effort will be in vain. Each scenario, if true, would undermine the author's recommendation.

Provided that all of the teenagers demand drivers’ course, it is unreasonable to infer that the school should put forward courses. As we are not informed of the specific number or the rate of the parents who are too busy to teach their children to drive or can’t afford the driving school. Hence, the mere fact that some parents are complaining lends little support to the recommendation. It is entirely possible that the rate is extremely low in absence of such specific rate. In that case, the author cannot justify his recommendation and the driving course could be worthless.

Even assuming most parents highly approve of the course, the argument assumes too hastily that an effective and mandatory program sponsored by the high school is the only solution to this serious problem. Other feasible methods such as more strict control, more effective publicity campaigns may also be applied to achieve the same aim. Moreover, even if the course is needed to prevent teenagers from accidents, it alone may not be sufficient to solve the problem: the interaction among student, school and parent may prove indispensable to the ultimate resolution of accidents. Without ruling out these possibilities, the author's recommendation remains dubious at best.

In brief, preventing teenagers from accident is the duty of whole society. It is no doubt that the driving course could reduce the accident. However, the author’s argument is not likely to persuade the Centerville High School to offer the relevant course unless all of the above-mentioned assumptions are conclusively substantiated.

按照建议，开头进行了改动，第二段自己也进行了polish，各段间增加了逻辑连接，替换掉了原来老套的secondly 开头

winterfineUID: 3141531

The recommendation that students in Centerville High School should take the effective and mandatory driving course sponsored by school in order to reduce the rate of accidents is seemingly logical: it is common sense that lacking of driving knowledge and skills give rise to the frequency of accidents. Nevertheless, the argument is unpersuasive unless the author of letter can give definite answers to several critical questions as follows.

注意题目要求是Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument，而非answers to several critical questions。最好在开头就可以体现出来。

To begin with, it is unfair to conclude that students should be required to take the driver's education course at school based on the recent accidents involving teenage drivers. Perhaps the teenagers hurt or killed in accidents are not from high school. Chances are they are just bad boys hanging out in their cars. Even though some of young are from high school, the rate should be low. We know that there may be limited high school students who can drive car as there is strict law to restrict teenagers to drive. On that account, the cost of course may be high while effort will be in vain. Each scenario, if true, would undermine the author's recommendation.

Secondly, we are not informed of the specific number or the rate of the parents who are too busy to teach their children to drive or can’t afford the driving school. Hence, the mere fact that some parents are complaining lends little support to the recommendation. In absence of such specific rate, it is entirely possible that the rate is extremely low. (表达上有点重复) In that case, the author cannot justify his recommendation and the driving course could be worthless.

Finally, the argument assumes too hastily that an effective and mandatory program sponsored by the high school is the only solution to this serious problem. Other feasible methods such as more strict control, more effective publicity campaigns may also be applied to achieve the same aim. Moreover, even if the course is needed to prevent teenagers from accidents, it alone may not be sufficient to solve the problem: the interaction among student, school and parent may prove indispensable to the ultimate resolution of accidents. Without ruling out these possibilities, the author's recommendation remains dubious at best.
观点很好

In brief, prevent (preventing) teenagers from accident is the duty of whole society. It is no doubt that the driving course could reduce the accident. However, the author’s argument is not likely to persuade the Centerville High School to offer the relevant course unless all of the above-mentioned assumptions are conclusively substantiated.

观点比较清晰，句子也比较丰富。如果能够进一步加强各段之间的联系，会更好。

oyxj1551UID: 3150888

Although giving training to children with special gift may lead themto success easily, however the factors affecting the success of talents arevarious. Meanwhile, the definition of talent varies from person to person aswell. In that case, I think this claim should be reconsidered.

Tobegin with, it's hard to judge a child whether or not he is genius.
Identifying merely bychildren’s behavior has failed to be an unimpeachable method. That is to say, althoughit is easy to observe children whether they are active or seem to be clumsy, wecan never tell whether the children are geniuses or not with full confidence.
Albert Einstein, a dull and weird boy once considered, hadn't shownup his talent until college. However, no one can deny his great contribution tohuman today. In that case, should we identify a child arbitrarily, or one dayhe may turn out to be the next Einstein.

While some children have showed up outstanding talent at early time,some of them end up in dim life. A variety of factor play crucial role in theway to success, which means talent isn't the only thing that matters. Takingthe self efforts into consideration, children with talent can hardly succeedwithout their self efforts even though they are our special training objects.For instance, child with excellent curiosity and creative ability is likely tobe trained as a scientist for future. However, he may give up halfway facingannoying math problems or frustration in mind. Edison,
one of the greatest inventors, once said” achievementequals to 1% genius plus 99% diligence.” In a word, talent doesn't equal tosuccess. Besides talent, self efforts are vital to success as well.

Moreover, excessive confined training while ignoring physical and mentalhealth could do harm to the growth of child. Lack of cultivation of art,humanity, philosophy and other essential parts of life is likely to bring aboutan unsound person. One, on the contrary, could be another Adolf Hitler to oursociety. Therefore, the training shouldn’t be adopted unless one can ensurethat child get all-sided one.

Frankly speaking, it cannot be denied that some great personage getproper training early. For example, Mozart has shown up his outstanding talentfor music since three.
After discoveringthat, his father took him to different parts of the country to give a touringperformance, which had a big impact on his music career. At the end of hislife, though enduring the poor and blank, he is so hard writing music optimistically.Honestly, the success of Mozart depends on the synergy of internal talent, propercultivation and efforts of his own.

Tosum up, I concede that the identification of those children who have specialtalent is important. However, without self efforts and comprehensivecultivation, not only would these children fade away halfway, but also resultin a potential harm to society. Therefore, the training should be carried outcautiously or it may ruin the future of those talented.
改正了一些错误，变换了一些简单的句式，第二段和第五段重新丰富了一下论证，将缺少的例证补充了。大体可能就变不了

lovetianUID: 2899734

2# oyxj1551
Although giving training for (to) children with special gift may lead them to success easily, however the factors affecting the success of talents are various. Meanwhile, the definition of talent varies from person to person as well. In that case, I think this claim should be reconsidered.


To begin with, it's hard to judge a child whether or not he is a genius. As IQ and EQ couldn't be the mere criterion for us to draw a conclusion. Albert Einstein, a dull and weird boy once considered, hadn't shown up his talent until college. However, no one can deny his great contribution to human today. In that case, should we identify a child arbitrarily, or one day he may turn out to be the next Einstein.
难以区分天才和普通人，没有明确的标准

While some children have showed up outstanding talent at early time, some of them end up in dim life. A variety of factor play crucial role in the way to success. That means talent isn't the only thing that matters. We take the self-efforts into consideration. Children with talent can hardly succeed without their self-efforts even though they are our special training objects. For instance, child with excellent curiosity and creative ability is likely to be trained as a scientist for future. However, he may give up halfway facing annoying math problems or frustration in mind. Edison, one of the greatest inventors, once said achievement equals to 1% genius plus 99%diligence. In a word, talent doesn't equal to success. Besides talent, self-efforts are vital to success as well.
除了特殊的训练，那些天才的自我努力对于他们将来获得成功更加重要。

Moreover, excessive confined skill training（将题目中所给的训练定义为技能上的训练） while ignoring physical and mental health could do harm to the growth of child. Lack of cultivation of art, humanity, philosophy and other essential parts of life is like to bring about an unsound person. One, on the contrary，could cause damage to our society. Therefore, the training shouldn’t be adopted unless one can ensure that child get all-sided training.
要提供全面的教育，而非但一方面的培养

Frankly speaking, it cannot be denied that some great personage get proper training early. For example, Mozart has shown up his outstanding talent for music since three years old. After that, his father took him to different parts of the country to give a touring performance, which had a big impact on his music career. However the success of Mozart depends on the integration of talent judgments, cultivation and self-efforts.
全面发展才是好的培养方法，但是，莫扎特这个例子好像不是很好，不能有效的说明他的成功是经过全面的培养。

To sum up, I concede that the identification of those children who have special talent is important. However, without self-efforts and comprehensive cultivation, not only would these children fade away halfway, but result in a potential harm to society. Therefore, the training should be carried out cautiously or it may ruin the future of talented children.


中心思想很好，就是在写的时候，尽量多写一些，句子结构略显简单了些。

oyxj1551UID: 3150888

1# oyxj1551 Issue 37
Although giving training for children withspecial gift may lead them to success easily, however the factors affecting thesuccess of talents are various. Meanwhile, the definition of talent varies fromperson to person as well. In that case, I think this claim should be reconsidered.
Tobegin with, it's hard to judge a child whether or not he is a genius.As IQ and EQ couldn't be the mere criterion for us to draw a conclusion. Albert Einstein, a dull andweird boy once considered, hadn't shown up his talent until college. However,no one can deny his great contribution to human today. In that case, should weidentify a child arbitrarily, or one day he may turn out to be the nextEinstein.

While some children have showed up outstanding talent at early time,some of them end up in dim life. A variety of factor play crucial role in theway to success. That means talent isn't the only thing that matters. We takethe self efforts into consideration. Children with talent can hardly succeedwithout their self efforts even though they are our special training objects.For instance, child with excellent curiosity and creative ability is likely tobe trained as a scientist for future. However, he may give up halfway facingannoying math problems or frustration in mind. Edison,

one ofthe greatest inventors, once said achievement equals to 1% genius plus 99%diligence. In a word, talent doesn't equal to success. Besides talent, selfefforts are vital to success as well.

Moreover, excessive confined skill training while ignoring physical andmental health could do harm to the growth of child. Lack of cultivation of art,humanity, philosophy and other essential parts of life is like to bring aboutan unsound person. One, on the contrary，could cause damageto our society. Therefore, the training shouldn’t be adopted unless one canensure that child get all-sided training.

Frankly speaking, it cannot be denied that some great personage getproper training early. For example, Mozart has shown up his outstanding talentfor music since three years old. After that, his father took him to differentparts of the country to give a touring performance, which had a big impact onhis music career. However the success of Mozart depends on the intergration oftalent judgement, cultivation and self efforts.

Tosum up, I concede that the identification of those children who have specialtalent is important. However, without self efforts and comprehensivecultivation, not only would these children fade away halfway, but result in apotential harm to society. Therefore, the training should be carried out cautiouslyor it may ruin the future of talented children.