candice作文贴~~~~弱弱的发上来 作文实在是需要大家帮忙

candice8830UID: 2699670

一战托福作文竟然才17分……哎
我的作文底子太差了 恳请各位同学帮忙猛拍~~~~小女在此谢过！！！
PS：daliy writing作文小组要怎么参加啊~~

candice8830UID: 2699670

1# candice8830

Working at home using computers or telephones is better than working in the office
1.
Nowadays, with the technology developed, some may hold the opinion that working in the office in not good enough than that working at home using computers or telephone. But others have a negative attitude. As far as I am concerned, I agree that working in the office in the way which has more advantage. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.
I agree with the statement that people work in the office is has more positive affect for each program. When people work in the office, the most useful benefit is working with other workmate. Communication is one of the most important things in any relationship. Working in the office, people may have more chance to discus with other people. No matter people have any problem and question, or they have a new idea. Taking my friend Elle as an example, she is a designer works in an AD company. Every day she needs the meeting with other workmate, they are discuss the program, argue the negative attitude and exchange the different information. Elle needs the meeting to improve he work. You also can talk to other people with computers or telephones, although this way is useful but limited.
Another reason why I agree with the above statement is that I believe that I think people needs the team work environment. Team work is the best way to make a positive circle about all of the people who is work together. When you get the help from your workmate when work in the office, you also need help other people. Working in the office also useful to people inspect each other. This is the circle which can make you understand the responsibility.
In a word, I suppose working in the office will learn more than working at home. Taking into account of all these factors, we may reach the conclusion that working in the office, you can get the help from the workmate, and the seam time you may learn how to improve you responsibility to make tribute to the team. I think it is the most experience and the fortune in your life.

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麻烦各位同学帮我指出错误和不足啊~~~~谢谢大家！！