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标题: 作文求高手打分。。。多谢了!! 希望给出具体意见,谢谢。 [打印本页]

作者: peterleeweidan    时间: 2012-2-19 16:20:58     标题: 作文求高手打分。。。多谢了!! 希望给出具体意见,谢谢。

titel:

successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more monry then people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


正文:

In recent years, a great emphasis has been placed on the income of sports professionals'. It is highly debatable that whether these sports stars deserve earning a huge amount of money, which is even much more than professionals in other areas.

Those who claim that the current situation being totally unfair is because many sports professionals are extremely wealthy due to high advertising fee. They recieve the money for granted, but it is unrelated to their sports skills. However, this kind of perception presumbly has ignored the great efforts sports stars have taken behind fame and reputation. By comparison, those who believe that it is justified for sports stars to earn so much is comparatively  objective to the fact. Generally the highest income a sports man get is either from the award of a competition, or from commercial. However, wenning these money usually costs them years of focused excersice, the burden they have beared has beyonded our imagination. The immediate wealth is based on long tough work and endurance.

Nonetheless, there are certainly shortages in emphasizing the propoerty gained through remarkable accomplishment. After being rich and admired, some sports stars are addicted to alcohol and drugs, they were in a dangerous situation and would possibly abandon their career. From this perspective, they do not deserve it. But I think this is less likely in most cases, because most sports professionals will significantly value their accomplishment if they get it after being through numerous difficulties.

My view is that it is indeed fair for sports professionals to deal more money than people in other occupations. They gain more because they pay more. This is a better way to encourage them to challenge themselves as well as bringing innovation and new sports records to us.
作者: bqiana    时间: 2012-2-20 22:57:23

老题目了貌似
6.-6.5
模仿考官的还不错尼
作者: peterleeweidan    时间: 2012-2-21 12:25:00

2# bqiana

谢谢版主! 不过请问一下,如果想上7的话,哪些是我需要提高的,就这篇而言。

我的确模仿范文了,不过这样会不会有风险呢?

谢谢版主指导。




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