作文专贴~kkmm130

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明天开始写作了，给自己加油~~~~

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3.21 独立写作

佐左927UID??3229248

3.19 独立已改

xydxuyidanUID??3153716

319已改

kkmm130UID??3266172

3.19 独立

echo.fUID??3029406

3月17号独立
It's known to all that a school with many famous teachers may be highlighted by all. Excellent teachers play an essential role in teaching and helping students. On the other hand, thanks to the development of technology, facilities in school become much more widely used. So we will have a debate that which of them is more significant, the teacher or the facility? I do have supported that improve facilities can help more students and be in more helpful. I will presence （present）some evidence （to）strengthen my notion here.
First and foremost, famous teachers just some elites in the group of teachers, hence, they can be only a little part. With realizing the importance of knowledge eventually by people, our desire for studying are （is）urgently. By the growing numbers of students, teachers' requirement is more large（这一句换个说法比较好，more and more teachers are required）. As a consequence, lacking of famous teacher is to be common in many places. On the compotatory（这个词是？）, improving good facilities for required cost far less time than to train a famous teacher, so paying more attention to building technical facility will slove the lack （of teachers）well.
What I rely on is the reason that, nowadays, students shall develop their self-study ability. Teachers' function is not only to teach knowledge but also the skill in learning. Students need to test their harvest in somewhere. At this situation, facilities can offer good service. For instance, my experience extraordinarily proved that facility can help develop ability of self-study. My university built an high-technology library for students with high-speed Internet and admitting us to research for resource of all topic form all over the world. By the help with that, I finished my creative test and gain award in country's competition. Teachers help me with the way of research and then I do the work in the library myself. As a conclusion, maybe you can't be teached（taught） by a famous teacher, but the high-tech facility can also improve your work and study in the excellent way.
Last but not least, facilities can do good to students' comprehensive ability. In the modern facilities of school, computers and many technological equipments are open up to students. These things may be beyond a famous teacher's knowledge. So the students must use the equipments by themselves to further their skills of these tools. For the knowledge can really be use in life or work, good facilities is needed.
After ruminating all above, from the cogent evidence I can safely confirm my notion that facilities play a more important role in school than hiring famous teachers. To be helpful with more students, to be improving skillful comprehensive abilities and to be perfectly solving the lack of famous teachers. Facilities should be pay more attention（to）!

作者这篇文章思路很清楚啊，句式的变化也比较丰富，我还学到了不少表达哈哈。我的水平很一般，希望能有帮助。

xydxuyidanUID??3153716

kkmm130UID??3266172

3.17 独立写作

heetionUID??3271965

Thanks to the development of technology, movies and television become a part of our daily life. It's generally that many unrealistic fantasy and crime scenes present in movies or program(s) of TV and some unpredictable even harmful actions of young people have occurred in the society which are influenced by the TV and movie. So some people make a conclusion that TV and movies will effect young people's behavior in a wrong way. On the compotatory, I hold the opposite view that movies and television are far more significant than their negative effection.There are countless evidences can strengthen my notion, here, I will just (presence){present} the most cogent evidences which are related to importance of collecting information , having a common pace with surrounding and enjoying a relaxing life.

First and foremost, television an movies can spread some information about the world to us at once and make the world smaller and smaller【恕我愚见，持续的动作才能产生持续的变化，这里知否单用个small就够了呢？】. If you give them up for abandoning the negative effects, you will fall behind the pace of the world. The missing information can influence your work and life. What's more, it's brilliant things that the movies and TV programme(s) often contain much more than the bad things. To update your taste of art, you also (can't){can not}【正规，不缩写】 go away from movies and TV.

(what's){What} I rely on is the reason that having known some current affairs can improve your relation with acquaintance. Because of always (attracting){attracted}【主语是you吧？】 by the same movies and TV programme(s), your friends and co-workers will discuss {the} same thing or (sharing){share}【前面都是DO，后面咋要ING呢？】 opinions on it, so (wether){whether}【这个词很有趣的~不妨查查看~】 you can join that or not will hamper your communication with them.【后半句属于逻辑错误吧，whether就包含了 or not 的意思，而且是否加入都会 hamper 么？】 To enlarge the social cycle, knowing about fashionable movies and television is a wise way.

Last but not least, with the faster pace of life in the modern world, choosing a way to be relaxing play(s) a significant role in life. Obviously, watching a movie or television is a cheap and common method people always like. To avoid the negative emotions coming from hard work harm our emotion, we also can not live without movies and TV.【“为了避免来自艰苦工作的伤害或者其他什么的负面情绪，我们离了电影电视也不能活” 是不是逻辑错误？】

As ruminating all above, I can safely draw a reasonable conclusion that the movies and tele vision offer enormous positive influences on our life. Even something bad in movies and television had a bad effect on the young, but that just happen in a few immature groups . Not only can the movies and television relax you but also effect your life positively.

通读兄弟文章，可见兄台长句功力之深厚，至于片语复读若干遍而未能知其深意，便只敢略抒愚见，望兄见谅。
长句虽好，也宜亦长亦短，长短结合，深浅相依，方显神韵；另，文章多理而少例，如能多些许具体到个人之例子，更能锦上添花！

kkmm130UID??3266172

3.16独立

kkmm130UID??3266172

3.15独立

Frankie0616UID??2763738

revised~ 回改啊~

猫屎咖啡加冰否UID??3214093

改晚了，求勿拍。。。先按爪

kkmm130UID??3266172

今天的独立又写完了~

Frankie0616UID??2763738

revised ~回改哟