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本帖最后由 lliisaJudy 于 2009-8-19 12:53 编辑
改diamond cat
People attend university for different reasons like new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge, to meet new people, to be specialized in a field, to change the city that they were born in, to make their parents proud, to be out of the parents' eyes and many, many other reasons.列出了上大学的种种理由,可是就这样就独立一段的话,没有表明文章立场的句子,会有点不太清晰。可以加一句“正如我如下陈述”之类的话。
As human beings, we are programmed to establish goals in our life. One of the goals is the career or how we will earn the income and at what standard we want to live. If we want a high level income and life then
it is necessary to choose a university or a college. Why? 问句用的好Because only if 这个句式很好啊,表强调,可是后面是不是应该跟倒装形式呢you are professional in the field that you want to practice then your income and life-level will be high.
Not all the teenagers that choose to enroll in a university or college know very well what they want to do with their life so their goals are not too这个too在这边不太合适 specific. Then, they must be motivated by other reasons. One reason can be just to get out of the small towns or villages that they were born in and to go into a big city with so many(much more)
opportunities. Imagine what a life...new friends from different backgrounds, clubs, parties, freedom (the parents are not there). Maybe you just dream to know other society than哪来的比较级? yours...well, the borders are open now, and you can study in your dream country or society.
# U Q0 H' o" r# ] V
Another reason to attend university is the level of knowledge that your are exposed to. Every day the amount of knowledge is getting bigger, more specific with each level. So many opportunities are open in your face, specialties that you did not know before. Is impossible not to find something that you like...molecular physics, behavior analysis, a philosopher that you agree with, genetic science etc. The environment will take you to the highest level. You just need to choose the field.
Finally, one of the most common reasons to attend a university is the family. It is more probable that, if you come from an intellectual family to attend university.这个句子结构有点不太通吧 It is a fact that the parental model is very important in the way you choose to live your life. The percentage of teenagers that attending university is much higher in intellectual families than in families where parents do not have degrees. Many persons attend university for the sake of在这边其实用for一个就可以了,用这个词组感觉有点画蛇添足,cat你觉得呢
their parents.
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There are many reasons to attend university. I think in these days everybody can attend a university. You can take a loan or you can attend different programs and foundations, or your grades will speak for you and you can win a grant or a bursary. I am sure that there are many persons who regret that they had not attended a university, but none to regret that have a degree.结尾不错呢,都是发表自己的感想,就是最好注意下不要用这么多主观的表达方式哦!~~
整体感觉文章想法都蛮好的,一点一点的衔接很到位。就是在写的时候cat最好注意下句子的通顺。有些句子语法有点问题。还有啊,就是要注意下句子多元化。我觉得这点我也是的,写来写去都是那几个句子。一起加油吧!:handshake
改Ocean master 的
Universities, especially famous ones, occupy the highest position in education system. 哇~~; Meanwhile, the number and quality of a country's universities stands for the nation's
technology ability. Just because of universities' double importances in both education and research fields, there are tempting reasons for people throught the world to fight to enter
them. Three of these reasons will be discussed in following passage.哇 ocean master的文章好有文采啊~~
A realistic bait for people is the high value of a college graduate identity. University students are usually considered to the best of all their ages, and there are reasons to support. To enter a university, a student have to survive all his importand exams and enjoy
a clear record of bahavior. Consequently, them are supposed to be the smartest and most law-bidding citizens. That's not so hard to understand. The strongest survives.
Correspondingly, college graduates enjoy higher social position and many more chances to sucdess? than other group of people, right after their graduate(graduation). Take my hometown for
instance. The identity of college graduates has been an essential requirement of all superior vocations. Only dirtiest vocations are open to all.. c:
A+ M9 W/ E$ D% }5 s7 v
Another convincing reason for people to enter college is involved with career preparation. University is one of the key paths to get into research work, if not the only. Research activities require some important abilities and experiences. A common knowladge of cutting-edge progress, being familiar with paper reading and writing and the ability to use research tools, for instance. And universities are perfect places to study accsssory knowladeg and build up experience这个可以这么搭配吗. Some research institutes, in fact, are just get started as college training institutesinstitutions.
The purest cause to go to university is the desire for knowladge. A proper illustration for this can be the famous table tennis player DengYaping. After winning Olympic golden medals for three times, she has, by all means, been a successer. However, she decided to leave
behind the sport field and go to TsingHua University then. I believe this action is out of 1 ~$ B, g+
her purpose to get a systematical education of human knowladge, which can only be provided
by universities.4 k4 _#
K# n8 e
To sum up, out of the purpose to get higher in social position, get more prepared for future
research or simply get more known, people choose to fight their way to the palace of
knowladge, colleges.
思路很清晰,文章也很连贯,文采也很好~~好厉害啊!:funk: |
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