Issue51 【0710G-HIT坚持交作业小组作文大帖】第一次作业（处女作）

kiki1988UID: 2329056

（首先 声明：这是偶D处女作。。。感觉和4级作文差不多……各位不要怕伤害偶D小小自尊心，尽管来拍吧~为了写出好文章~豁出去了！！！:mad 不怕被PIA死……）
（再次声明：大牛路过的话，表笑哦……）

=====================Issue 51=====================
【题目】Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
【翻译】只有针对每个学生的需要和兴趣，教育才真正的有意义。
【题纲】Position:it is true that students’ needs and interests are of importance to education, but it’s possible to make every individual satisfactory.
1．表明观点：教育需要针对学生的需要和兴趣.
2．兴趣对于教育的重要性。对个人：爱因斯坦有句至理名言：“兴趣是最好的老师”；对社会：学生学的是自己感兴趣的知识，就会学的更好、学得更深。以后为社会作贡献也能真正达到“学以致用”，充分发挥自己的才能。——Watt蒸汽机
3．如果教育完全脱离学生的兴趣和需要，必然将不能达到truly effective的效果
4．但是要做到完全符合每位学生的兴趣，也是不可能的。因为有些很重要的知识，不能因为大家都不感兴趣就cancel掉，比如一些重要的基础课，如数学，大家都很头疼，相信没几个人be interested
5．综上所述，要寻找一种平衡。教育应该注重学生的兴趣和需求，但不能完全被其左右。
【正文】（417words）
In this era of rapid social and technological change leading to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement, people begin to acknowledge the great importance of the individual needs and interests of each student to education. I tend to agree that these two factors work on education deeply and also make it effective.

Interests are significant to education not only standing at the level of individual but also at the level of our social. As Einstein once said(and I paraphrase) : ”It is the interest that proves to be the best introductor.” If interested by those thick schoolbooks in the front, students must be more willing to sit in the classroom. The more one be interested in, the more information he will draw and the more deepth of his reseach will reach. Watt, who invented the steam engine, drive the industrial revolution. He start his assumption just from his interest of a teakettle full of boiling water. Interests, therefore, make great influence to force the social go-ahead and when graduates come to the society, they can truly “studying in order to apply it”.

Simply but, without designing to meet these interests and needs, education will be truly not effectively. The most important function of education at any level is to develop personality of the individual and the significance of his life to himself and to others. Not meet the needs means not follow the basic architecture of personality, which obeys the purpose of education. So effective education shouldn’t ignore these needs.

On the other hand, it is possible to meet every student’s need. Education that completely embay the students is not truly education. Not everybody is interested in a same thing, so education can not satisfy every one in the same time. Further, if we only study what we want to learn, it must bring to a huge deletion in our mind, and the loss cannot be estimate. For illustration, maths, possibly few would be interested when childhood, is so important in our futrue life. We can not cancel this course for the reason that the major abhor to learn it. Interests are only one aspect that edcation should pay attention to not adhere to.

Without considering the interests and needs, edcation becomes stiff and ineffective. With too much depending on interests, edcation aslo becomes unilateral and disadvantagous to the growth of children. Thus, we need to carry out some feasible ways to balance the relationship of those two parts, to make edcation more effectively and more interesting.

[ 本帖最后由 kiki1988 于 2007-7-30 01:19 编辑 ]

kiki1988UID: 2329056

写的不好……很烂……但是 我还是很恶心的把它弄出来了……

希望大家不要客气，多PIA PIA~~

尤其是思路和语言上，个人感觉就是小学生水平……感谢大家给与宝贵批评~！！！:)

kiki1988UID: 2329056

:eek: 难道烂到 连批评都无处下手了？？？:funk:

doris_gxcUID: 2370933

In this era of rapid social and technological change leading to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement, people begin to acknowledge the great importance of the individual needs and interests of each student to education(to be educted/taught). I tend to agree that these two factors work on(affect) education deeply and also make it effective.(...act as an important standard to decide its efficiency)

Interests are significant to education not only standing at(on) the level of individual but also at(on) the level of our social(society). As Einstein once said(and I paraphrase) : ”It is the interest that proves to be the best introductor.” If interested by(in) those thick schoolbooks in the front(in front), students must be more willing to sit in the classroom. The more one be interested in, the more information he will draw and the more deepth of his reseach will reach.(这句读得很难受，换个句型或者试着用抽象名词) Watt, who invented the steam engine, drive the industrial revolution. He start his assumption? just from his interest of a teakettle full of boiling water. Interests, therefore, make great influence to force the social(society) go ahead and when graduates? come to the society, they can truly “studying in order to apply it”.
不行了~看不懂。强烈建议列详细的提纲（包括论证方法），并且自己先改一改。

Simply but, without designing to meet these interests and needs, education will be truly not effectively. The most important function of education at any level is to develop personality of the individual and the significance of his life to himself and to others. Not meet the needs means not follow the basic architecture of personality, which obeys the purpose of education. So effective education shouldn’t ignore these needs.

On the other hand, it is possible to meet every student’s need. Education that completely embay the students is not truly education. Not everybody is interested in a same thing, so education can not satisfy every one in the same time. Further, if we only study what we want to learn, it must bring to a huge deletion in our mind, and the loss cannot be estimate. For illustration, maths, possibly few would be interested when childhood, is so important in our futrue life. We can not cancel this course for the reason that the major abhor to learn it. Interests are only one aspect that edcation should pay attention to not adhere to.

Without considering the interests and needs, edcation becomes stiff and ineffective. With too much depending on interests, edcation aslo becomes unilateral and disadvantagous to the growth of children. Thus, we need to carry out some feasible ways to balance the relationship of those two parts, to make edcation more effectively and more interesting.

可以先不要用太复杂的句子

[ 本帖最后由 doris_gxc 于 2007-7-31 15:36 编辑 ]

mablaUID: 2312557

In this era of rapid social and technological change leading to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement, people begin to acknowledge the great importance of the individual needs and interests of each student to education. I tend to agree that these two factors work on education deeply and also make it effective.

Interests are significant to education not only standing at the level of individual but also at the level of our social. （貌似该段没有很多论证social level，主题句是否要换个角度重写，比如就说intrest 在知识积累、创新等个方面都举足轻重）As Einstein once said(and I paraphrase) : ”It is the interest that proves to be the best introductor.” If interested by those thick schoolbooks in the front, students must be more willing to sit in the classroom. The more one be interested in, the more information he will draw and the more deepth of his reseach will reach. Watt, who invented the steam engine, drive the industrial revolution.（完全可以合并到后面的句子中） He start his assumption just from his interest of a teakettle full of boiling water. Interests, therefore, make great influence to force the social go-ahead and when graduates come to the society, they can truly “studying in order to apply it”.（"and when....",这半句，和前面联系不大，把两个放在一起有点怪。）

Simply but, without designing to meet these interests and needs, education will be truly not effectively.（读着有点别扭，没太搞清楚是什么意思） The most important function of education at any level is to develop personality of the individual and the significance of his life to himself and to others. Not meet the needs means not follow（语病？） the basic architecture of personality, which obeys（遵守？这里应该说违背吧） the purpose of education. So effective education shouldn’t ignore these needs.
其实本段完全可以写得更有深度和说服力。围绕满足每个人的特点，使其充分发展，才能使得教育更加有效展开论述。可以举现在教育中没满足个性化从而导致的问题，或者充分满足个性化需求而取得教育成功的例子，而达到支持你的主要观点：满足interest and need of every student使得教育更加有效（或使其必要条件）

On the other hand, it is possible（应该是impossible吧） to meet every student’s need. Education that completely embay the students is not truly education. Not everybody is interested in a same thing, so education can not satisfy every one in the same time. Further, if we only study what we want to learn, it must bring to a huge deletion in our mind, and the loss cannot be estimate. For illustration, maths, possibly few would be interested when childhood, is so important in our futrue life. We can not cancel this course for the reason that the major abhor to learn it. Interests are only one aspect that edcation should pay attention to not adhere to.（这个例子完全可以展开写，参见组长同志的帖子）

Without considering the interests and needs, edcation becomes stiff and ineffective. With too much depending on interests, edcation aslo becomes unilateral and disadvantagous to the growth of children. Thus, we need to carry out some feasible ways to balance the relationship of those two parts, to make edcation more effectively and more interesting.

建议楼主自己也多改，语言方面要防止犯错误，并防止出现令人费解的句子。论证可以逻辑严密，有深度，但是表达上尽量做到清楚、明白。

纵观全文，感觉论证欠well-developed，特别是Simpley but....这一段和On the other hand...这一段论述，应该考虑如何好组织和展开论证。

个人意见，仅供参考