【独立写作】chenhuahan的作业贴

chenhuahanUID: 3400773

开贴 要给自己的压力才行 明天开始更新

2012.12.04作业
不知道怎么写 写的稀烂啊 求大侠指点迷经

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

加油哦~多练就能成功~

chenhuahanUID: 3400773

秋雨荆州 发表于 2012-12-1 22:45
加油哦~多练就能成功~

感谢秋版指导 会按时交作业的

chenhuahanUID: 3400773

12.03 第一次写独立写作 求狠批 多谢
With the marvelous development of technology and society , our society now became more and more connected .No matter where have you been, walking in a secular world or surfing in a virtual world through the Internet ,we virtually always talking with each other ,learning from each other ,communicating with each other .There is no doubt to say that only through these process can let us become more and more sophisticated .When we realize how brilliant we are ,we always exhibit an positive psychology which lead us to a more efficient way to learning new things .So it's  the advanced technology and society that make us to be a person who always shows the passion to learn and is easier to educated.
    Technology ,which seems to be the most important power to change our life ,have been renewed in a fantastic speed .Especially after the emerging of internet which transformed our ways of thinking and learning .Unlike older years ,if a person is bothered by a question ,he only can think about the problem by himself or went to the library dump himself into the billions of billions books which ,of course, many are irrelevant to the problem .This complicated ways about solving one simple problem can't let us show some interesting to learn for it costs too much time and may never find an answer to the question which bugged myself for a long time .But when the internet invented ,we can email the professor who  at the subject ,we can find the relevant information by wikipedia which only need us to know what the key words about the questions ,then it can show a sequence of important information .It undoubtedly will save a bunch of time compared to the time used to search in the library .The most ingenious idea about the internet is it gives us a more efficient way to learn things and makes the global became   
more interconnected .We can discuss problems simultaneously through the internet with our partner who may in the other side of the world .With the help of technology ,we are became more and more fast to absorb new things which in turn ,will make technology step forwarder.
    Benefit from the advancing technology ,Our society also became much more suitable for us to be educated easily .For instance ,when a college student who find himself have a great interest in mathematics , he always can join some mathematical club to share his ideas with the others ,or he can attend in some mathematician's lecture to receive some most frontier ideas through the world .Like old one says "interesting is one of the best mentor in the world" ,only the one who understand which things is his own true love can succeed at the end of the life journey . Of course ,the best way to find the true love is through socialization .When people interact with other people who shows the same interesting about one subject ,they can have a positive attitude toward learning .So they exhibited to be more easily to be educated.
    In conclusion ,we can't hesitated to say that nowadays ,with the help of sophisticated technology and socialization ,we as a life-long learner became more and more good at learning new things that bothered our old ancestors ,absorbing new knowledge in a faster way that our ancestors can never catch up.     

chenhuahanUID: 3400773

12.03作业 第一次独立写作 求狠批
With the marvelous development of technology and society , our society now became more and more connected .No matter where have you been, walking in a secular world or surfing in a virtual world through the Internet ,we virtually always talking with each other ,learning from each other ,communicating with each other .There is no doubt to say that only through these process can let us become more and more sophisticated .When we realize how brilliant we are ,we always exhibit an positive psychology which lead us to a more efficient way to learning new things .So it's  the advanced technology and society that make us to be a person who always shows the passion to learn and is easier to educated.
    Technology ,which seems to be the most important power to change our life ,have been renewed in a fantastic speed .Especially after the emerging of internet which transformed our ways of thinking and learning .Unlike older years ,if a person is bothered by a question ,he only can think about the problem by himself or went to the library dump himself into the billions of billions books which ,of course, many are irrelevant to the problem .This complicated ways about solving one simple problem can't let us show some interesting to learn for it costs too much time and may never find an answer to the question which bugged myself for a long time .But when the internet invented ,we can email the professor who  at the subject ,we can find the relevant information by wikipedia which only need us to know what the key words about the questions ,then it can show a sequence of important information .It undoubtedly will save a bunch of time compared to the time used to search in the library .The most ingenious idea about the internet is it gives us a more efficient way to learn things and makes the global became   
more interconnected .We can discuss problems simultaneously through the internet with our partner who may in the other side of the world .With the help of technology ,we are became more and more fast to absorb new things which in turn ,will make technology step forwarder.
    Benefit from the advancing technology ,Our society also became much more suitable for us to be educated easily .For instance ,when a college student who find himself have a great interest in mathematics , he always can join some mathematical club to share his ideas with the others ,or he can attend in some mathematician's lecture to receive some most frontier ideas through the world .Like old one says "interesting is one of the best mentor in the world" ,only the one who understand which things is his own true love can succeed at the end of the life journey . Of course ,the best way to find the true love is through socialization .When people interact with other people who shows the same interesting about one subject ,they can have a positive attitude toward learning .So they exhibited to be more easily to be educated.
    In conclusion ,we can't hesitated to say that nowadays ,with the help of sophisticated technology and socialization ,we as a life-long learner became more and more good at learning new things that bothered our old ancestors ,absorbing new knowledge in a faster way that our ancestors can never catch up.     

chenhuahanUID: 3400773

12.03作业 第一次独立写作 求狠批

frozensmileUID: 3362752

chenhuahan 发表于 2012-12-3 20:37
12.03作业 第一次独立写作 求狠批

chenhuahanUID: 3400773

frozensmile 发表于 2012-12-4 14:43

受教了 遗忘了分论点的开始要有个总结 以后会注意的 你的我改完在传你 多谢

皮哥大脚UID: 3399152

LZ可以修改自己的帖子 通过上传附件的形式发作业 这样便于大家查找:$:$

chenhuahanUID: 3400773

皮哥大脚 发表于 2012-12-4 21:39
LZ可以修改自己的帖子 通过上传附件的形式发作业 这样便于大家查找

感谢细心的修改和建议 其实我写着写着也发现有点偏题了 以后会注意这些问题的

龙泽皮皮UID: 3394123

膜拜。。。LZ

mpromanusUID: 2565872

Do you agree or disagree with the following statements? Young people todays are more likely to help others than young people in the past.

Thanks to the advanced technology and science, our society became more and more connected. We can talk with our friends by dialing a telephone number, communicate with our partners by sending an e-mails, discuss with a foreigner by using the internet. Undoubtedly, all these should make us like helping each other (I don't get the reasoning. Why must more connectedness make someone more inclined to help other people?). However, according to my experience, we are showing less intention to help each other than our past generations. Why does this peculiar phenomenon occur? What makes us isolated from each other? I think there are two main reasons to illustrated it (You've been raising questions, not conclusions – there's nothing to 'illustrate', but only to 'answer'.).

First of all, although nowadays we have benefits from our ingenious e-products (No such phrase. It sounds very cheesy anyway..), it's these products that separate us from each other, making us to be a indifferent person. There is no doubt to say that the epitome is the internet. I remember when I was in high school when the internet wasn't prevailing ('prevail' is a verb, not an adjective.). If I have some questions about the books ('the' books about what?), I can discuss these questions with my classmates. They virtually like to help me solve the problems.(You can't connect two independent sentences with just a comma in English.) Through this process, we may even find some new ideas which are relevant to the original question. But, after the internet became popular, nowadays high school students exhibited less of a disposition to discuss with their classmates. As i brother (?) told me, once upon a time (This phrase is reserved for telling stories to children, especially for telling fairy tales..it's not a phrase you would use in normal daily conversations. Just use 'once', seriously.), he had trouble about understanding a physical concepttion (A 'conception' is not the same as a 'concept'. And I still don't quite know what a 'physical concept' is..perhaps you meant 'a concept in physics'.), so he went to ask one of his friends. Instead of a discussion, the only answer he received was "Are you serious? Why don't you use the google?" The answer not only made my brother feel very frustrated , but also let me feel very strange. Technology should be a better way to let us cooperate, instead, they lead us to a situation in which everybody believes that there is no necessity to help the others because they can google it.]

Furthermore, we lived in a secular world which is filled with hedonism (Look, one of my favorite words!), commercialism and consumerism. It will make us foster a self-centered characteristic (To 'foster' is usually to grow something good. Egoism, meanwhile, is not usually something you want to 'foster'..) which gives us a impression that helping the others may let us become more vulnerable. So we are reluctant to help the others. For instance, there are/were two friends who always help each other during the college. After they graduated, they both enter an enterprise and share a similar position of assisting engineer (Again, you can't just write sentences comma after comma in English. A failure to grasp the basics of sentence construction will undermine all the complex sentence structures you try to flaunt.). But once a friend is promoted while the other one stays at the same position , then the cooperation is over (I personally don't see what the problem is here. Who says you must always keep helping each other during work just because you were friends in college? It is of course a nice thing if somebody does that, but this is never an obligation. Plus, I don't see how this example relates to the 1st sentence – that it is hedonism, commercialism and blah that are making these two friends so selfish and are corrupting their spirit of helpfulness.). Admittedly, it is very sad to see the two friends never help each other again, but it reflects that it's the selfishness that makes us less likely to help the others.

In conclusion, Comparing to our past young people, we don't prefer to help the others.

总结：

嗯。。请特别注意单复一致和分句。。论述上感觉是比较狗血一点不过没有很致命的问题。。

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

ro老师早！
哦好像也不早了:L 哈哈哈

chenhuahanUID: 3400773

mpromanus 发表于 2012-12-8 07:32
Do you agree or disagree with the following statements? Young people todays are more likely to help  ...

感谢RO老师的细心点评 我一开始准备证明写 但是想不出来例子 反面写着写着也觉得逻辑不那么严密 以后会注意素材积累和单复数问题 非常感谢

chenhuahanUID: 3400773

龙泽皮皮 发表于 2012-12-6 23:15
膜拜。。。LZ

像你学习还差不多 我的语法比较烂 不过觉得你文章的风格很不错 学习了 哈哈